to think smart trousers are a suitable alternative to a dress?

[freddiefrog]

We're going to a friend's wedding just after Christmas, so have been on the hunt for outfits for my girls. It's a late afternoon wedding, quite relaxed and informal.

DD2 (7) loves geting dressed up and the flouncier the dress, the happier she is, so her outfit has been easy to sort out.

DD1 on the other hand absolutely hates dresses or skirts, and usually lives in jeans, trousers or shorts, so I've bought her some smart trousers, with a little jacket to wear.

Upon chatting with other friends it would seem that we're committing some sort of wedding fashion faux pas, its disrespectful as 'girls should wear dresses'

I don't see that I should force her into a dress and make her feel uncomfortable and self-conscious for a day

I don't think you should force her into a dress, but I agree with your friends that women should wear dresses for formal occasions. I presume your dd is a child and not a women though, so it wouldn't apply to her. As long as it is smart and somehow Weddingy, it will be fine.

Nobody cares what children wear to weddings. Nice trousers and jacket will be fine!

Rubbish. Sounds fine. Tell your friends to butt out.

She'll be fine in the trousers. I've worn trousers to a wedding before so there's no need for a child to not to Her outfit sounds lovely - when my sister got married, my dd2 wore a tunicy type thing with some leggings. She was a flowergirl for an hour then the dancing clothes came out.

YANBU of course girls and women can wear pants to weddings!

I've worn smart trousers to weddings, and the wedding where I was last Saturday had women in lovely trouser outfits too.

'Women should wear dresses to a wedding' - in what century, the 19th?

Sorry, she's 11, I meant to put it in the OP.

My friend always wears trousers to weddings - smart ones with a pretty top.

No pants though.

I think friends think I'm pandering to her by letting her wear trousers, rather than making her wear a dress, like I shouldn't give her a choice over her own clothes.

She knew it had to be smart and wedding appropriate and chose accordingly.

Trousers suit her much better anyway. She just doesn't do dresses unless they're fairly casual

YANBU. Your girl can look appropriate and smart wearing stuff that doesn't make her feel awkward. And anyway (no offense, but) who'll be looking at her anyway? All eyes on the bride, surely?

YANBU I've been to quite a few weddings recently where teenagers wear trousers. No problem at all.

YANBU whoever said it was disrespectful is being ridiculous.

I'm not sure how wearing a dress to a wedding shows respect really.

She's not going to rock up in her jeans and vans

Most of my friends have younger DDs, my eldest is the eldest by quite a long way, I think some of them forget she's not a little girl anymore

Would anyone force their sons to wear a dress? Then I fail to see how this is any different.

YANBU. I go to weddings in smart trousers! You would BVU to force your daughter to wear clothes that didn't feel like 'her', given that she's perfectly willing to dress up for the occasion.

44 - women can't go for a meal as a guest to Millbank barracks wearing smart trousers either

How odd. I've been to a wedding where the bride wore trousers.

Surely in this day and age it is well known women are allowed to wear trousers without the Lord smiting them with thunderbolts for Immodest Conduct?

"Women should wear dresses for formal occasions"...what, to make sure they don't reveal a glimpse of their ankles?

Great Caesars ghost. My time machine works.

YANBU
Who on earth have you been speaking to? Queen Victoria's lady in waiting?

I think it's fine for kids. I saw some wedding photos recently where the groom's 45 year old sister was wearing trousers at a black tie wedding because "she doesn't do dresses". I thought that was a bit childish, to be honest. It looked silly in the family photo. I'm sure the top was smart in real life but looked like a t-shirt in the photo.

Fine for an 11 year old though. The last thing you want is her sulky and uncomfortable.

Wow both my sisters and I wore trouser suits to eldest sisters wedding, maybe that's why they are now divorced

Lol, seems like it

I think I'm generally frowned upon for opting out of her wardrobe choices - unless it's age/weather/occasion inappropriate, my only input is the debit card.

She should be made to wear what she's told, and that should be a party frock at a wedding.

I'd rather respect my daughter's wishes than get into WW3 over a poxy dress

Moet. Exactly! I force her into a dress, she'll be self conscious and stroppy all day although that'll give them another chance to criticise my parenting I suppose - a far worse look for a wedding than letting her wear trousers and be relaxed and happy