To put DS in his own room?

[SpanielFace]

DS is 14 weeks and usually wakes just once a night to feed (he is breastfed). Currently he sleeps in a Moses basket next to my side of the bed. I'm considering moving him into his own room (next door) as I keep waking him up at night (coughing, rolling over noisily, going to the toilet - he is a very light sleeper). Also, he wakes me up (grunting, squeaking, farting!). DH sleeps through it all, I might point out!

I miss being able to lie in bed talking to DH, and I miss being able to have sex in bed (I just can't dtd with a baby in the room - it feels weird, and I'm scared of waking him!). But SIDS guidelines recommend that babies sleep in their parent's room until 6 months. I don't really understand why this is (isn't SIDS silent? So it's not like I'd hear anything) and we don't smoke or have any other risk factors.

What would you do?

All I can say to OP is that I and most people I know moved tgem into their own room about 4 months purely because they had outgrown moses basket & no room for cot in our bedroom.

I can't comment on SIDs risk

So sorry chrissy.

redwell I suppose it depends upon the child & circumstances. What made your dc high risk?? If it's ok to ask? X

So sorry about your son, chrissy.

I thought that one of the reasons kangaroo care was recommended in premature babies, was because of the proof that the breathing of the close adult helped regulate the breathing of the baby.

Piglett, I only say about the monitor because I had a discussion with ds's paed about movement monitors when he was very small (he has breathing problems and frequent choking episodes, probably due to seizures). He talked about the differentiation between apnea and sids, (mainly being - in his words, that sids is an unknown and has occurred in children on movement monitors, because the heart stopped instantly) so sorry if I got that wrong.

Like others, I moved my ds to his own room around 14mnths due to lack of space for cot. I was worried about it, but will do the same again.

I will be asking my hv what the actual reasons are behind some of the points made in the SIDS leaflet, as this thread contains contrasting "facts" about the reasoning of keeping them in your room.

Mine have slept in their own rooms before 6 months. I was aware of the SIDS recommendations.
I resent the insinuation that if you move your DC to their own room, you will put your DC's life in danger, and that if something happens it will be your fault.

Do what you see fit. Moving your DC to his own room is not neglect and if you think everybody will sleep better, then I think you should.

Ahh no you didnt I've been told that SIDS can occur two ways either decrease in breathing leading to respiratory arrest or heart stopping , thankfully ' I say that very gently!' ds just stops breathing without warning and needs help. We have been told this would lead to SIDS in her case and our doctor said he monitors would probably save a lot of other children from it. ( im guessing by this he meant infants who just stopped breathing)

YANBU!!

I put my DD in her own room when she was 6 weeks old. People told me I was being silly but I needed the sleep!! After a couple of nights she settled into a really good routine (bath at 7, feed then in bed by 8) and would sleep until 3am! She is going a bit longer now and has done a few 10hr stints. She is EBF.
I hope it goes well

I put both of mine in their own rooms for the same reasons as you from 8 weeks. I am fully aware of the information and risks however I had to make a decision based on having severe pnd due to sleep deprivation and lack of my own relaxation space at night time. Both began sleeping for 10 hour stretches once moved in their own rooms.

I was very careful not to over heat and to use thermometers to check temperature of the room and adjust accordingly.

I used grobags instead of blankets and no one in our house smokes or drinks at all.

You have to do what you think once you've read all the information.

I wouldn't do it.

Chrissy, so sorry for your loss. x

Sorry for being a bitch, no excuse but its been a bit of a shitty day and I'm over-sensitive and I shouldn't have taken it out on you Spanielface my 1st post was my issue, not yours.

Thank you everyone for your sympathies, thats really nice of you all considering I was such a cow :(

There is no real medical evidence as such as to why it is 'safer' to keep babies in the same room, it works on statistics and theories just now basically as SIDS rates are coming down then advice seems to be working but no-one really knows why for definite.

After I lost my son I have been given monitors and blankets for my children (thankfully as DD1 stopped breathing at a few months old) and its standard in most areas for hospitals to do this for families who have lost a child to SIDS. They make it very clear that they reduce the risk (by quite a lot) but they don't stop it happening altogether.

Chrissy - I am so sorry for you and your beautiful son. Thank you for sharing your story, it is very brave of you.

Op yabu, the guidance is there for a reason. Ive never moved dd from my room and she's one now. In fact she sleeps in my bed with a bedguard and cuddles all night with the occasional breastfeed. Not for everyone i know, but 'safe' co-sleeping has also been proven to lower sids as mums breathing encourages baby to remember to breathe. Again, probably not for you as sounds like youre keen to move your baby, but its only a few more weeks?

just to clarify despite my views on SIDs and the higher risk to my daughter i still put her in her own room a couple days shy of 4months old (with movement monitor)
x

Our bedroom is tiny, but we managed to fit a regular sizes cut in there by rearranging the furniture. Dd states with us for over a year, DS for 8 months. I don't understand why its so hard to follow the guidelines, really.

Omgosh welsh our children must have slept so peacefully!

I had a toss and turner on my hands and exdp ended up waking her up with his snoring!

A friend of mine is French and they recommend that babies are in their own room from day 1!

Mine slept in his own room from 10 weeks with a movement sensore which we tested every night to make sure it worked. DS has always and still at 10mo gets up anywhere from 2-7 times a night so is those few hours between him waking i needed to properly sleep as i was going crazy never sleeping.

I have to say though DS's bedroom is next to our in a tiny house he is maybe 6 feet away through the wall when he was smaller up to 6 months i left both doors open so i could hear him moving and breathing if his room was down a hall it might have changed my decision.

Not really. DS in particular was a disruptive little creature. I just wasn't prepared to risk putting them in their own room because they disturbed me a bit. DD was a nicu baby, had suffered brain damage, and was on sedative medication at night for six months. I wasn't letting her outbid my sight.

Aww poor thing!! In that case Incan understand! In our case it was more about dd needing to get sleep than stupid exp!! Shuda kicked him out into another room!

Having your baby room in until 6 months lessens the risk of SIDS. I just don't see how that can be compared against other inconveniences. The only one i can get my head round is maybe someone so sleep deprived and under pressure that they were borderline breakdown.

At around 3 months, my ds, who had silent reflux (not too bad, needed infant Gaviscon) choked quietly while lying in the bedside cot. I remember waking suddenly into a state of complete alertness, hearing a strange sound of 'clicking' from him - then his legs began to paddle and thrash in a way I have never seen before or since. Hard to describe - not a baby movement - like a sudden fast extreme pedalling.

I grabbed him and sat him up - he coughed and choked and coughed - he was shaking violently - gagging for breath and eventually recovered enough to cry.

if he had been in the next room, he could have choked and I would not have heard him. I firmly believe he would have died had he not been right next to me.

It's only for a few months. Why risk it.

Our DD (and every other baby born in our wider family in the last 30 years) is considered high risk for SIDS. Every baby born in the last 28 years has been monitored and taken part in research to inform the guidelines.

We follow them to the letter. They are there as a result of research undertaken on babies who have died, and the siblings/relatives of those children born later including my DD, her cousins, her aunts and uncles. These babies are monitored, on special equipment, supported by health professionals.

Piglett " It's not something that is encouraged widely by health professionals but my dd's doctor after seeing her case has a conpletly different opinion about t them now" - this isn't actually the case. My DD had a monitor issued by FSID, supported by my GP, HV, Paediatrician and Paeds Nurse. Her monitor was a combination monitor - apnoea/heart rate/sats. Any deviation on any of these things can indicate a problem. All babies born in our family are high risk and they are all given monitors (which are the same as the ones they use in hospitals).

Guidelines say that babies should sleep in the same room as their parents until they are six months - both at night and in the day. This is because the research has shown that more babies die from SIDS whilst sleeping in a room on their own than those that sleep in the same room as their parents until they are six months.

The reasons why don't really matter, it makes a difference, but there are a couple of research based theories as to why this is the case and the most supported is that the noise the parents make whilst asleep (at night) or pottering around in the day stops a baby falling into too deep a sleep where they "forget" to breathe. Breathing is a reflex, babies reflexes develop a lot over the first six months they don't always work as they should.

It is not known whether SIDS happens because babies stop breathing and their heart stops, or because their hearts stop and they stop breathing. It is known that being in the same room as the parents does reduce risk.

We had an all singing, all dancing NICU standard monitor that was attached to our DD with electrodes every time she slept until she was 10 months old. We didn't move her out of our room even though we had £1000's of pounds worth of equipment to alert us to any change in our DD.

She also has an Angelcare monitor - it's brilliant. But no monitor is good enough for me to have moved her out of our room before six months.

*it makes NO difference....

I've stuck the moses basket away from me in a far corner of the bedroom and that helped a lot with me waking him and him waking me.
With one baby I had him in his own room in the cot from day one, we had a monitor turned low so his grunts and farts didn't keep me awake. There was a single bed in his room too so if he was up a lot I slept in there with him occasionally.

Coola I meant the general movement monitors sold in shops. Many times I was discouraged my health professionals not to use one and my dd was turned away approximately 10times (up to ate of 7months) before they gave in and did a sleep study. They we were given medical devises apnea monitor / Sats monitor! Thats all dd wasn't considered high risk at birth it was only at 8months when tests were back that we found out se was

Sorry for your loss Chrissy.
OP, have you considered swapping sides of the bed with your DP? I found my DH sleeps better than me through the baby noises, and DD2 wakes up less, maybe because milk is (slightly) further away? A small thing but maybe worth a try?