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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To feel sorry for the Australian DJs?

921 replies

andapartridgeinaRowantree · 08/12/2012 00:38

Obviously more sorry for the nurse's family. I wonder how long she was having suicidal thoughts for? I can't think this could have been the only cause,

But these pranks have been going on for such a long time and those DJs could not have predicted such a result and are going to have to live with it for the rest of their lives.

It's such a tragedy and I feel very sad for all concerned.

OP posts:
x2boys · 08/12/2012 09:19

As a nurse myself i dont feel one bit sorry for the DJ,S i also wonder exactly what support her managers were offering her they made a public statement last night saying she was a valued member iof the team will be greatley missed etc was not in any trouble hmm i find that hard to beleive, i was off sick last year with extreme stress as a direct result from bullying from senior management [ ok i work in the NHS but i imagine in a private hospital it would be much the same if not worse].A lot of people have blood on there hands.

SucksToBeMe · 08/12/2012 09:19

Nurse =Sad
DJs= Angry

That's where my sympathy lies.

BegoniaBampot · 08/12/2012 09:20

Hope the DJ's aren't totally used as scapegoats. There are a lot more people equally if not more responsible for giving it the go ahead like the station managers and lawyers. To say nothing of how others responded to it and jumped on the bandwagon. I imagine the DJ's will be the ones getting all the hate though.

SamuelWestsMistress · 08/12/2012 09:35

Their prank was twattish to say the least purely because contacting a hospital for a "joke" is a pretty tasteless thing to do anyway.

The outcome is far worse than anyone could have imagined. The poor woman clearly felt such instant and distressing despair with the whole situation that she acted in a spontaneous irrational way. I don't think that she'd have necessarily had to have any previous mental illness issues as some are saying. She clearly thought there was no way back and no matter what anyone was saying to her otherwise. Just an awful situation for the poor woman and her family.

However I understand what you are trying to say. These people were clearly of poor judgement and insensitive enough to thing what they were doing was entertainment. Perhaps even being so far away they even felt detached from the situation. I do think that there was no malice or intent to cause harm and the outcome will affect them for the rest of their lives both personally and professionally.

If this is now not a lesson for the media to back the fuck down and leave the Dutchess alone then I don't know what is. Here she is not even 12 weeks and look what has happened.

The only monster here is the media who have blown it all up. Perhaps Leveson should take note.

Nancy66 · 08/12/2012 09:35

yes, i said on an earlier thread that I feel very sorry for the DJs

manicinsomniac · 08/12/2012 09:47

There's a lot of people saying that the DJs couldn't possibly have known what would happen and a lot of people saying that the nurse did not need to have any other 'issues' to have commited suicide but that it was an understandable thing to do based just on what happened. Those two things can't both be true.

I feel sorry for them. Horrible thing to have to live with. It's possible to blame someone and feel sorry for them at the same time. I would feel sorry for a driver who hit and killed someone while drunk at the wheel - it would totally their own fault and theywould deserve everything they got but I'd still feel for them on a human level because I can't imagine how awful it must be to shoulder that responsiblity. You can also feel sorry for several people at once on different sides of a situation. Sympathy for the DJs doesn't lessen the sympathy for the nurse's family.

MoleyMick · 08/12/2012 09:51

I agree too. I'm in Australia, and when it happened the consensus was just that it was a bit unfunny. Now the DJs are being ripped to shreds and I bet they feel dreadful. It's just a terrible situation

expatinscotland · 08/12/2012 09:55

No, I don't feel sorry for them. They're adults. They chose to do this for a living.

SantaWearsGreen · 08/12/2012 10:09

Yabu.

It wasn't even a funny joke, practical jokes aren't. They're just immature and stupid. Never got them, even as a kid. They really cause upset and distress. What happened with the nurse is obviously an incredibly rare outcome but regardless they still caused her public international humiliation.

It doesn't matter whether it was the straw that broke the camels back or not. They still should feel an incredible amount of guilt for what they have caused. The poor woman. And not just that but they have dampened the spirits of Will and Kate who should be going through a joyous time! And of course added stress when Kate needs to be focusing on getting better.

I can't believe the DJs won't be fired for it, and that the bosses have said the Djs are the 'real victims' in all of this apparently Hmm How on earth does that one work??

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 08/12/2012 10:11

I feel sorry that they will have to live with this for the rest of their lives, it was a prank that went very wrong and that would be a hard thing for anyone to live with. However, I think it would be best if they were taken off air and just got on with their lives quietly and away from celebville, along with the producer etc. saw some of the messages to them on twitter and Facebook and they are very scary.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 08/12/2012 10:13

I think all the people calling for her to be sacked should feel just as bad as the DJ's. Yes they played the prank, but everyone else ran with it, being all outraged as people do so well, calling for the nurses involved to be sacked.

I don't care what people say, it has only been since she committed suicide that people have stopped talking about sacking her. If she hadn't taken her own life then people would still be harping on about how she should loose her job.

xkittyx · 08/12/2012 10:15

I have a great deal of sympathy for the poor nurse and her family. None for a pair of thoughless, idiotic mindless idiots that played a cruel practical joke. Okay they couldn't foresee she would take her own life but at the very least it's obvious that people's careers might be ruined.
And it's utterly unfunny and in poor taste that it was a hospital they phoned.
The poor staff, getting on with their important jobs that actually make a difference and help people, to be targetted like that by a pair of vile, unfunny twats.
Hope they feel like utter utter crap and maybe start growing up a bit.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin · 08/12/2012 10:16

I don't feel sorry for them at all.

What did they think would happen to the person taking the call regarding them getting into massive trouble?

This will stay with them forever. But nothing on earth like how the nurses husband and children will feel. Their lives are forever changed.

christmaswish · 08/12/2012 10:21

This is the same radio station that forced a "scared" 14 yr old, to confess live on air, that she had been raped at the age of 12!

They work for a radio station that quizzes children about their sex lives. Even if the girl hadn't been raped, what kind of sick media, thinks that asking kids about their sexual experiences is OK?

They know they push the boundaries, I have no real sympathy for them.

The nurse may have had mental health issues, but no one on here can say that with any certainty.

If a child kills themselves after being tormented by bullies do we say "well they must have had other issues"?

No, because bullying is soul-destroying. We have no idea how much it affected the nurse. Even if she had previous issues, she may not have killed herself, if she hadn't been held up to public ridicule.

christmaswish · 08/12/2012 10:22

Agree with everything Everlong says xx

threesocksfullofchocs · 08/12/2012 10:23

yabu
but can see where your coming from, they now seem to be being hounded, seems like the media and internet has not learnt anything by this tragedy

EmpressOfTheNorthPole · 08/12/2012 10:34

I think there are some crossed wires going on. Brycie, am I right that it's the DJs you're not sorry for, not Jacintha's DCs?

PessaryPam · 08/12/2012 10:41

Three do you expect the media and the internet to learn?

FreudiansSlipper · 08/12/2012 10:47

I think the press mainly the dm did far more damage calling for sackings and questioning the intelligence of both nurses

it was a crap praand rely the first time this has happenedand really their staff should have screened all calls they have enough staff working for them to do this

Once again the papers getting carried away with so called reporting regardless of all those involved and no doubt pushed by an editor desperate for a knighthood showing their outrage at this joke that even charles laughed off

Fecklessdizzy · 08/12/2012 10:48

It was a spiteful trick and cost that poor nurse her life. the DJs and station concerned are scum. I've got no sympathy for them at all. Let's see how they like being on the recieving end.

PessaryPam · 08/12/2012 10:50

YY Feckless. I also do not believe the hospital management were being supportive.

marriedandwreathedinholly · 08/12/2012 10:52

No I don't feel at all sorry for them. They behaved despicably and what they did was fraudulent and dishonest from the very beginning. They did something on purpose with the intent of publishing the results in the media. The consequences have been horrific and also relate to the violation of the privacy of the Royal Family.

I think we should not forget that the behaviour of the media led to the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, William's mother. This week it has led to the death of Jacintha, a nurse and beloved daughter and family member of a less prominent family.

Not a great deal has been learnt since 1997 it seems to me.

They were and remain a pair of bastards who planned something dishonest and fraudulent - I would hope it is possible that they will be prosecuted as a result of their disgraceful conduct - manslaughter by association perhaps or something similar.

FreudiansSlipper · 08/12/2012 10:53

and my sympathy is with Jacintha Saldanha's family and friends

But I do think the dj's are getting the brunt of all the blame others were involved too

RedToothbrush · 08/12/2012 11:01

Not in the slightest. YABU.

  1. This breaks all media ethics. In this country the newspapers have agreement over issues regarding the health of the royal family. Its well known. And reporting the medical condition of anyone whether they be a celeb or not, is very shaky ground in any western country and leaves you open to getting your arse sued. To play a prank like this, they must have weighed up the risk of that versus the potential profit from publicity. Or they are incredibly naive and ignorant and frankly if you are in media like that and don't understand basic level media ethics you shouldn't be in the job.
  2. They ran a hospital and took the value time of busy nurses who should be spending their time caring for patients not dealing with idiots out for a cheap laugh. Calling the emergency services with prank calls is an offense in the UK, and I'm willing to put money on the same in Australia or at least is deeply frowned upon.
  3. This was always going to cause upset to one party or another. It was completely predictable that it would upset the royal family (and the fact it was the royals is irrelevant - the same would be true of anyone especially in the public eye) and that if they were successful it would lead to disciplinary action or an investigation of staff, and there was a strong chance it would have an adverse effect on someones career and cause them a lot of stress and worry. It was more likely than not to put someone in a position which would be damaging to their mental health. Completely innocent staff who were unlikely to have had media training as they are nurses. This was totally outside any nurse's job description.
  4. They took great delight in using the clip they had to promote themselves and the radio station as much as possible after the event. Not at one point did they think of anyone else. It was selfish and self serving.

It would have taken about 2 minutes to think this through and consider other people or the potential consequences and risks of the prank (including the risk of a back lash). They didn't. Not for one second. They had chance to prepare for this; it was completely premeditated. Unlike the poor nurse put on the spot having to make a snap decision.

The fact that the outcome is worse than anyone could have imagined is beside the point in my opinion.

We wouldn't have heard the headlines about the nurse who had a breakdown or had quit her job over this. It wouldn't have been important that it had recked her life or career. She'd be forgotten and left to get on with it by the press. There would be no holding the radio station accountable for how much they had destroyed someone's life. And she'd still be painted as "letting down the royals".

Its only disgusting, because the outcome has been so awful and provoked such a backlash.

The DJs need to be held responsible. The radio station needs to be held responsible. It need to be made clear that prank calls hurt people and can have devastating effects. It needs to be made clear that trying to illicit any medical details about anyone using deception is not acceptable in any western media outlet.

They didn't stop to feel sorry for how it might effect someone caught up in their actions. Why should I feel sorry for the DJs, whose professional job includes understanding media ethics?

Why should I feel for a radio station that has previous on breaking media ethics and did nothing to educate their staff. And on this, the DJs would have been fully aware of this previous incident and this should have woken them up about media ethics and consequences even if the radio station didn't take the lead.

Their actions were premeditated, considered and had no regard for anyone else even after the fact. They had plenty of opportunity to stop at various stages but they pushed it to the absolute limit. It was selfish and involved clear deception of others.

There is high possibility they have broken the law during the process of this; they almost certainly have broken Australian broadcast regulations.

I don't get it. They need to take responsibility for their actions just like anyone else would do if they broke other rules/laws. Think drink driving. Think a boss who doesn't follow proper health and safety rules. There are no excuses. And its not beyond the realms of prediction; highly unlikely, but not totally unpredictable.

What you are suddenly saying is that suddenly because someone has died, and they are going to feel guilt over it, we should feel sorry for them despite the fact that at more than one point they could have considered the impact on others? Would they have felt guilty over it wrecking someones life in any other way? I somehow seriously doubt it.

Why on earth should I feel sorry for them? I don't get it. I'm yet to see one good reason.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin · 08/12/2012 11:05

Excellent post redtoothbrush and one I 100% agree with.