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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What's the most rude thing anyone has ever said/done to you?

284 replies

gail734 · 07/12/2012 15:08

OK, I know it's not really an AIBU, but it features people being definitely U! I was just putting on some eyeshadow (as you do) and I remembered this: a) years ago, I was in a noisy pub and drunk man said to his wife, "Look at this girl, isn't she lovely?" His wife looked right at me and said, "She would be if she'd learn to do her eye makeup right." Still no idea what was wrong with my eye makeup, so presumably am still making the same terrible mistake!

b) I once went on a very short taxi journey and the fare was £5. I gave the taxi driver £5.50, ie a 10% tip. He looked down at it and said, (I kid you not) "That's not much of a tip." I just went, "Thanks! Bye!"

c) My boyfriend gave me a pair of earrings for my birthday. I said to my friend, "Oh, I see you're looking at my earrings. DP gave me them for my birthday." "Is that ALL he gave you?" "Yes. They ARE real." (They were pearls.) She then said, "Oh. They don't LOOK real."

d) I was once flashed at. A proper, open-up-your-brown-raincoat flash. I was about 23, and it was right in the centre of the city, in broad daylight. The thing was, the flasher was a bit of an amateur and got the timing wrong. He let me get too close to him before opening up the raincoat. I didn't look down, so I didn't see anything. Still rude though. Or am I being over-sensitive?

OP posts:
flowerytaleofNewYork · 09/12/2012 07:16

I have two

  1. After a horrendous v long labour and a messed up epidural that left me numb from the chest down and with no strength at all in my arms, midwife decided it was vital to move me from the delivery suite to the ward in a wheelchair. Two of them trying to do that dropped me on the floor Sad.

Midwife's comment was "You're going to have to be a lot stronger than that if you're going to be a good mother you know"

AngryAngrySadSad

  1. Was on here. I was giving advice to a nanny employer on the childminders nannies etc board and got sworn at because someone didn't like the advice. May not sound like a big deal but I've never been sworn at before or since, in RL or elsewhere. Needless to say I left the thread pretty sharpish and although I still give free employment advice on here, I don't do it in the childminders nannies etc topic.
BelleJolie · 09/12/2012 09:01

When I was 18 and in a bar, a man came up to me and said, "I know a joke that is so funny, you'll laugh your tits off." He then looked at my chest and said, "Oh, looks like you've already heard it".

daisydoodoo · 09/12/2012 09:06

One of the mums at school who never talks to me 'so where did you get your gastric band done then?' Never said a word to me before or after and I hadn't had a gastric band just lost the 9 stone by diet and exercise!

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 09/12/2012 09:20

flowery a poster I really liked told me to get a life once. It surprised me how hurt I felt by a complete stranger on an Internet board. Thanks for the advice you give.

worsestershiresauce · 09/12/2012 09:27

An aunt in law asked DH and I how long we'd been married. When we said 7 years, she came out with 'oh, so have you experienced the 7 year itch yet?'. Nice....

My best mate a school (male) ' I like everything about you except your nose' (I have had a minor nose complex ever since!)

My sister about my DH 'Your DH is a gay 'top dog', and men like that always have a wife as a cover'. (He's not gay, she's just a b*tch)

sleepneeded · 09/12/2012 09:29

Blizy -Sad

The funeral of my father fell right during my university exams - mother in bits huge family to deal with, and I was really sleep deprived due to studying part time working spending time in hospital etc etc etc.

Cause of death was cancer - very rapid within 6 months - due to a brain tumour.

I wanted to see if I could get any help with exam exemption had to speak to some administrator at uni who said all very matter of fact and quite rudely:

"You see if this was all of a sudden such as a car accident that had caused the death of your father then we could do something as we could say you were shocked - but as you were to expect it and had time to prepare for his death - so then no we can't grant you any exemption" - I failed one exam - and had to resit it the next year.

Then after leaving the administration building - I saw a fellow uni student who said " Wow I thought your Dad only had headaches - and was just claiming some long term sick leave - why didn't you tell me he was dying?"

My father would never feign illness and was so hardworking and did loads of extra things to help people - so I was really shocked that someone thought he was somehow trying to pull a fast one.

It was something out of like curb your enthusiasm.

dawntigga · 09/12/2012 09:38

I was VERY young and got engaged to somebody who I didn't treat very well in the end - he doesn't remember that bit but I do - his mother told me in no uncertain terms that if I got pregnant there would be no wedding, WTAF? I had no intention of every actually getting pregnant EVER. She never really did like me.
I'm friends with him on FB now and he has a lovely family, he's still funny and I'm glad we made contact and are friends.

VeryGladAboutTheCubNowAndWouldn'tHaveMyLifeAnyDifferentTiggaxx

BillyBollyBrandy · 09/12/2012 09:41

An ex colleague when I was 16

"You know, they have proper fat girls in porno's. Even fatter than you"
He was twice the size of me. One of the other lads did ask if he wondered why he had never had a girlfriend.

"Fucking hell, I wouldn't fancy buying you breakfast" said by lad, ALL his friends laughed at me. I was just walking down the road minding my own business.

"You're too fat to wear nice underwear" ex bf

All said to me at 5ft9 and a size 16. Not that they would have been acceptable if I was a size 26 of course.

My dad "You'll do well at your job, but not through any great intellect" Grin He thought he was paying me a compliment!! Only one in the family with a degree but never mind

flowerytaleofNewYork · 09/12/2012 09:48

Thanks seasonallysnowy Xmas Smile

Poster did apologise later down the line to be fair, but the Shock factor of thinking "did someone actually really just swear at me?" was pretty strong.

Mostly if people ask for advice and don't like the answer they just don't bother coming back to acknowledge it. Which is also rude in an eye-rolling kind of way, and fortunately doesn't happen that often!

Lutrine · 09/12/2012 10:05

Years ago, I'd drastically changed my hair and a friend of my now DH's bumped into us down the pub. He didn't recognize me and assumed my DH was out with another woman, so he sidled over and muttered "so, I've not seen you tonight if SHE asks, yeah? "

clam · 09/12/2012 10:13

DH, to a colleague at work, "Clam used to be quite glamorous."
My mother, after asking what size I was nowadays and being told the answer: " Really? Good God!"

MsVestibule · 09/12/2012 11:31

My Dad's come out with some corkers in his time, and yet he thinks my Mum's the tactless one Hmm.

"You look as though you've lost a bit if weight, DD. That's good, you were getting a bit of a tummy."

A few days after my wedding, (my sister did my makeup) he said "You looked very nice on your wedding day...your sister's a very good makeup artist, isn't she?"

My younger sister left her husband after suffering from physical abuse for a year. He said to me "Your sister is so placid, I just can't understand why he did it. I could understand it more if it was you or your older sister" Shock.

This one was supposed to be a joke, but still... I was 17 weeks pregnant with DC1 but barely showing. "Oh, you can't even see a bump! I hope the poor little thing's not dead.". I mean, in whose world is it acceptable to suggest something like that, even in joke?

LadyFlumpalot · 09/12/2012 12:11

In a nightclub toilet when I was 19, very shy and un confident. I was washing my hands, my "friend" still in the cubicle.

2 women approached me to tell me they were scouting for Promo girls and was I interested?

My "friend" popped out of the toilet and sniggered. She then proceeded to tell them that I was too skinny and ugly to be a promo girl.

9 years down the line - I'm a promo girl and model and she's, well, not.

trixymalixy · 09/12/2012 14:56

I Was at a wedding show with my MIL and my Mum. I pointed out a dress I liked. mIL said "oh no! You need a flat stomach to wear that kind of dress" My Mum was Shock

I lent my SIL to be the strapless top I had on the day before her wedding so she didn't get strap lines in the sun. MIL offered to lend me a vest top, "I'll need to look out my biggest one" she said.

She bought me, my SIL and DH's cousins cardigans one Xmas, gave SIL a smaller one than she gave me (we're pretty much the same size, i'm maybe slightly thinner) and basically told me I got the biggest one as I was the fattest.

DH had a word after the last comment.

trixymalixy · 09/12/2012 14:57

I'm not that fat btw. I'm a 12-14, but I'm 5'9". I couldn't help but smirk when MIL put on loads of weight after retiring from her quite active job.

trixymalixy · 09/12/2012 14:58

But saying that, I love her really. She's lovely most of the time, but just a bit outspoken!

FreudiansSlipper · 09/12/2012 15:07

Most hurtful - you are not the sort of person I would choose the have a baby with. Nicely put from my ex I was about 6 months pregnant at the time with his child

Funniest - if you were taller and a bit prettier you could be a model followed by you are quite pretty though

FreudiansSlipper · 09/12/2012 15:13

another one it's a shame you are such a wall flower you are very pretty but no be would notice you

this was from a friend of a friend who thought every one looked at her performances in public with admiration. She went to stage school and often broke out in to song and dance routines on the tube/train/bus

fishnhips · 09/12/2012 16:06

To me by a drunk lady about my DH in a pub after I had introduced them."Can you understand him?" (He has dark skin and an Irish accent!)

FolkElf · 09/12/2012 16:53

"You are the sort of girl men go out with when they know they don't stand a chance with someone like me"

said by my then best friend.

Sad thing is, it turned out to be completely true!

VodkaJelly · 09/12/2012 17:02

Not said to me but to my very dear friend.

My friend was in hospitial with terminal cancer, they had just found her 3rd tumour (she died not long after this). A nurse on her ward was talking to her and when she found out my friend had a 3rd tumour she said

"Oh, you must have done something very bad in a past life".

My friend so was upset, when I found out I would have punched the fucking thoughtless cow in the mouth, I was furious.

My friend was the sweetest and kindest person I have ever known.

conantg · 09/12/2012 17:11

Some terrible, terrible stories here. I have had my fair share too, but Vodkajelly that's just so sad.Reading this thread has made me think we victims should really take revenge on these people. In future I certainly intend to reply back as fast as I can even though it's not in my nature, and in the case of the story above I would certainly think that nurse should have been reported.

FolkElf · 09/12/2012 17:22

vodka that's just reminded me, a friend of mine was a teenager when she was told by a 'street preacher' that her mother's death through cancer was God's way of punishing her for something!

Wishfulmakeupping · 09/12/2012 17:25

vodkajelly that made my stomach flip your poor friend :(

FolkElf · 09/12/2012 17:26

Oh and I think I've posted this before.

DD was born 5 weeks early and weighed three and a half pounds.

The very first time my mother came to visit her in hospital she said to her brand new tiny granddaughter hooked up to wires and tubes in an incubator in SCBU...

"you're a tiny little thing aren't you? My friend had a baby as early and as tiny as you a few weeks ago. She died."