to want answers to these S&B questions?

[HullyEastergully]

Why are:

1. Certain items of clothing = "mumsy" eg bootcuts, tunics, some boots but not others (forget which)

1. Short wide jumpers are inherently better than others

1. Anyone over a size 12 = fat

1. Fat = mumsy

1. That thinking the above makes you a cleverer and more knowing alnd all-round better person with a slight pitying disdain for those that don't agree.

Lastly I would like a definition of "Mumsy" and why it is an insult.

Thank you.

Tunics are NOT your friend Hully, I heard them at the bus stop after school slagging you off.

They are too, they love me.

I am a lumpy oblong shape.

"Tunics suit the small of hip imo"

Yes.

And those who don't accidentally look like a Russian Cossack at every given opportunity.

Absy, earlier this week

I'm impressed. My knees won't let me crouch.

sue large proportions of skinny wearers look like the proverbial dog's dinner. And if they only went with their body type/shape they could look great.

The skinny look suits the tall, long limbed, with small breasts. Straight up and down. It plays to their andogenous body shape perfectly.

Maybe someone could knit me a jumper?
You could knit a bit each.

What should lumpy oblongs wear?

My dear dear nan used to knit stuff for me and my dsis 300 years ago, we used to choose patterns from Woman's Weekly.

Beat that.

I suit skinny jeans. I'm small, slim and biggish boob. In and out hip and waist.

You do have to have slimish legs I'll give you that. I like tapered jeans too.

Lumpy oblongs should wear Elizabethan ruffs; they are very flattering as they detract from any below-neck lumps and bumps.

No need to thank me.

I suit skinny jeans. So ner. Fitted tops and skinny jeans take lbs off me - baggy tops and wafty nethers make me hippoesque.

Oblongs normally need to break up their midriff with a belt, to give some shape. I'll find a link, Hulls

What a great idea!

Is it not a little cold now though?

Perhaps in the summer?

I wish I could knit jumpers, womens qeekly or not.
Hilly you shoul wear straight jeans, a nice 50's A line dress, Frye boots and starsky and hutch Cardigan. With a short, light blue cashmere scarf - just so.

No belts, great fat gut involved in the oblong

I'm a very short and stout lumpy oblong, I think I'd look a little smothered, or homeless.

Lots of body shape guides online...

Trinny and Susannah

based on fruit bizarrely

Gok The Twats guide

I thought you looked like wotsit from mamma mia?

I love gok. I once spent pretty much a whole weekend watching gok the whole time, and then spent the rest of the weekend goign "FABULOUS DARLING!" and trying to customise cardies using ribbons.

It was a weird weekend.

"Lady, check out your sexy curves! "

Ooh, that link makes me feel better already.

According to Trinny and Susannah I'm a cello. That's nice, eh?

Were there drugs Absy?

I don't look like any of the trinny and susannah scary ladies

Gok's guide is insane

Throughout the time I was growing up, everyone aspired to look like a middle aged woman - think about the outfits Princess Diana wore in the early days or the cast of Howard's Way.

Somewhere in the last couple of decades everyone has started trying to look like teenagers (often like teenage boys).

I feel cheated . I've finally reached the age when I have every right to look like a middle aged woman only to find that someone has changed the rules.

No drugs, surprisingly.

If you look like Meryl in Mamma Mia, presumably then you should be wearing dungarees and hippy tops?