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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to spend much less on one of my dcs than the others at Christmas?

172 replies

handsandknees · 06/12/2012 09:19

3 dcs - DD1(11), DS(almost 10) and DD2(7). I want to be fair. I try to be fair.

DD1 has asked for inline skates for Christmas. I've also bought her Trivial Pursuit which I know she wants but isn't expecting and few bits and pieces - books, backpack, t-shirt. DD2 has asked for a Design-a-Friend doll so she's getting that plus extra outfit for the doll and I've also bought her a doll's seat for her bike, and some bits and pieces. The extras are basically things they need which they would get anyway but I know they will like them. I've probably spent about £80-£100 each on them including stocking chocs etc.

DS has asked for a box of craft things, which will be only his and which he won't have to share with his sisters. He has specified paper, tape, string, stapler - that kind of stuff. I've bought a box and filled it up - I spent less than £15. I also bought him 3 books and some chocs but have only spent about £30 in total. He isnt that into books but I've tried to pick ones I think he will like. He loves chocolate/sweets so will be happy with those. He's never been interested in toys - he prefers to make things and I know if I buy more toys for him he will ignore them. He isn't interested in clothes either and doesn't need a new backpack.

The dcs have the same number of presents to open. Is this ok? Do dcs notice the value of gifts at this age or just the number?

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 06/12/2012 14:54

how about a graffiti wall in his room? a roll of plain backing paper, paste and brush, spray paint/chalks/pens? Grin

Original poster
handsandknees · 06/12/2012 14:56

Brycie the general rule seems to be that nothing is for what it's "meant" to be for. The only use of the expensive playmobil has been to store tadpoles.

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 06/12/2012 14:57

I wish you lived near me, our boys would hit it off straight away!

Original poster
handsandknees · 06/12/2012 14:59

Sounds like they would!

OP posts:
overmydeadbody · 06/12/2012 14:59

I think you should get him aglue gun, a swiss army knife and hardware items like screws, nuts, bolts, washers, wires, pulleys, springs etc

Also one of those sets of tiny screwdrivers.

He sounds great!

I think presents don't have to be of the same value though, children don't really know the value of things (especially with prices varying so much between online and inthe shops). I think kids care more about having the same number of things to unwrap...

thecatsminion · 06/12/2012 15:00

Would he be interested in Warhammer? It's wee plastic lead figures that you paint, and you can do all sorts of fancy brush work on. You get either fantasy or sci fi. Once you've made the figures you can use them in battles with other people (or just make up stories about them).

It's an expensive hobby though!

overmydeadbody · 06/12/2012 15:02

My DS is the same age as yours and has access to all those things I mentioned, loves making random things, and especially loves cardboard boxes and turning them into machines.

Brycie · 06/12/2012 15:02

"Brycie the general rule seems to be that nothing is for what it's "meant" to be for. The only use of the expensive playmobil has been to store tadpoles. "

How completely marvellous. Seriously never mind getting your son presents, I think you should give your son as a present to ME Grin

Brycie · 06/12/2012 15:03

Oh by the way I had another idea. Cheap clock or the like for him to take apart. Basically old stuff(or new stuff) for him to break open and see how it works.

Teafairy · 06/12/2012 15:05

Haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if repeating ideas but...I would want to do something else to give his present the WOW factor. Not sure how much space etc you have, but when my cousin was little he was just like how your DS sounds and in the end my Auntie got him a little shed outside so he could do all his experiments and inventions and leave them set up, no one would trip over them, or get annoyed by them and it was his own space, am pretty sure free cycle could be your friend and help out there. or if that isn't possible, what about a big toy chest size box, that all his inventions can be stored in and that you could keep a really impressive amount of craft stuff in? My DH has accepted that the biggest cupboard in our house has been given over to all my and the DD's craft stuff!

ethelb · 06/12/2012 15:06

www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/ has some good stuff too

LaCiccolina · 06/12/2012 15:14

A friends teenager likes videoing herself crafting. She made an origami bird, taped it, speeded it up and puts it on you tube. Its brilliant! She's got quite a collection of videos. You only ever see her hands in shot, not her.

So, basically I'm with another poster up thread. She suggested anglepoise lamp etc.....Think outside the box on this one. He's happy with paper but how can you stretch that? Take an interest in what he's doing might earn himself a fortune doing it one day.....

Teafairy · 06/12/2012 15:14

ps, am not saying send him out in the garden out of the way, more give him a space that he can go wild in. My cousin had a work bench and I think would have lived in there if he could, he LOVED it!! Just realised that that post could have made me sound horrible, i'm not, honest! Smile

MrsMerryMeeple · 06/12/2012 15:30

If you're trying to encourage him to read more fiction, what about this series:

The Inventors

Or

The Inventors (different author)

Or

Wallace & Gromit: Cracking Contraptions Manual. There seems to be quite a few W&G books about crazy inventions.

And there seems to be a whole series, but older (1910) and more modern, called Tom Swift Young Inventor

Could that be something?

Original poster
handsandknees · 06/12/2012 15:36

Love all the ideas and agree I need to think outside the box, but that's the issue here - I am very "in the box" and DS doesn't even know there is a box!

Brycie I'm sure we can arrange something. Wink

OP posts:
pmgkt · 06/12/2012 15:40

I agree with flora, it doesn't matter if you are worried maybe put that money in his account and then if there is something he wants later he can buy it.

CarlingBlackMabel · 06/12/2012 15:41

Personally I would not pressurise him to read fiction if he is not interested. There is so much non fiction to read in which history, science, geography, astronomy etc can extend the imagination as much as any made up characters and scenarios.

And I am a fiction writer. (some of the time)

Original poster
handsandknees · 06/12/2012 15:45

I had never really thought about it and just elt him read what he likes, thinking that the most important part is that he reads something. But his teachers this year and last year both put huge emphasis on reading fiction as well and a lot of the homework exercises were/are responses to fiction books.

OP posts:
blackcurrants · 06/12/2012 15:54

I keep coming back to this thread to ooo and aaah about how smashing your DS sounds. Xmas Smile
My DS is only 2 and his main interests are music and hitting things with sticks (drummer, definitely, or some kind of percussionist!) and his little brother is due any day now.... I was worried that not having a daughter means I'd miss out on crafty adventures, now I can see that this is not necessarily the case - how exciting Xmas Grin

Justforlaughs · 06/12/2012 16:15

I like the idea of a shed or space where he can just make a mess. A large lockable chest is another idea. Have you got any friends who are craftsmen who would be prepared to spend a day helping him to make something specific, you could buy the wood/ bits to make a really good chest?

CuriousMama · 06/12/2012 16:18

Doesn't he fancy a scooter or does he have one?

I don't think it matters too much but won't the older dc notice?

iismum · 06/12/2012 16:34

Haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if this has been suggested alread. But what about an IOU for an outing? Maybe a trip to the science museum if London is reachable, or a more local museum (but not so local it's not a treat). Or a theme park or something? Something you could do just the two of you, or just him and his dad.

pantshavenames · 06/12/2012 16:59

I actually did something similar for christmas for my soon to be 8 year old, paperchase had loads of dino stationary half price so got pens and paper and notebooks, topped up with some dino finger puppet kits, all in a dinosaur box file. (and then I got carried away and got some lovely origami kits from muji and sellotape and glue and stencils Blush) I second the makedo kits which are basically reusable plastic hinges and kind of bolts along with a plastic saw which can amazingly cut through cardboard. Really good for what DS calls 'freestyling' card board boxes.
DS also loves those woodcraft kits , I had to persuade that this is a little challenging for him

I'm now also a little terrified about what the future holds...

pantshavenames · 06/12/2012 17:17

or what about this book? it's a bit unclear what age range it's aimed at but it might be a good inspiration provider.

fuzzpig · 06/12/2012 17:31

I am very "in the box" and DS doesn't even know there is a box!

LOVE that description. He sounds absolutely brilliant.

I only just read this thread and I'm really glad you'll be topping up his present. By getting him lots more stuff to go in it - proper 'raw materials' like wire, string, washers, split pins, balsa wood etc, you will absolutely NOT just be 'spending money for the sake of it' - you can pretty much guarantee all that stuff will be used!

I do think a craft knife, guillotine or glue gun would be pretty good too.

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