to care about sleeping arrangements at sleepover

[Dromedary]

I think I probably am being unreasonable, so have said nothing to the mother in question, but just to check...
My DD, age 7, was invited to a sleepover at another little girl's house. This was fixed about 2 weeks ahead. I know the family reasonably well and it is a single mother all female household. The little girl has bunk beds in her room.
I obviously assumed that she and my DD would be sharing the bunk beds. But apparently the friend spent the night sharing mum's bed in mum's room and the vacant bunk bed was occupied by the ex-partner, who I have never met or heard about and didn't know would be there.
Am I out of order to have felt unhappy about this when my DD mentioned it?

Let me get this straight...

Your dd slept on a bunk in the same room as her friends mums ex-p whilst her friend and her mum slept together in another room.

Is that right?

That's what DD told me, yes. They have no spare room, which was presumably why he slept there.

Just say no to sleepovers at this age, I don't think those sleeping arrangements are at all acceptable.

You are NBU in the slightest.
For all you know ex-p is a lovely, kind man. OTOH, he may not be.

Do you think that the friend and dd originally started off in the bunks? Then friend joined mum and partner left mum to sleep in friends bed? Still not really ok but better?
(Am posting from ds' teeny toddler bed as both ds and ds2 have decided to go and sleep in my bed. Sigh)

Yanbu. He should have slept anywhere else but in the room where your dd was.

I would have got my dd back in her own bed by hook or by crook as I wouldn't want the guest to be sleeping on her own in a strange house.

That's so unacceptable. Yadnbu.

What the fuck???
A strange man shared a bedroom with your 7 year old and you even pause for a moment to question your response????

No way is that appropriate.
Not in any circumstance.
Never let your child stay there again
Tell all the other parents

Absolutely incredible behaviour from the mum and xpartner!

I would go bat shit crazy!

...good grief....no no no.....YANBU. What on earth was your friend thinking?

YANBU there are other options, ex DP could have slept on the sofa, your DD could have slept on a bed made on the floor of the mums room.

YANBU I wouldn't be happy either.

YANBU, I'd not be happy either.

If that's actually what happened its well out of order!

I wouldn't be at all happy. Are you going to phone the other mother to clarify?

Yanbu! Completely unacceptable. I would be having serious words with the mother. There is NO excuse I can think of which could justify what she did.

YANBU. That's totally unacceptable. Was your Dd disturbed in any way when she told you?

YANBU!

Actually if this DID happen, that ould be the end of sleepovers completely with this friend, and playmates tbh, as that is so way off the mark as far as good judgement goes I wouldn't be able to trust her at all.

That's really weird kandi wouldn't be happy with that at all!

Normally I'm laid back, but that's just wrong....

When we've done sleepovers, all the children pile in the big room together, no adults in the room obviously Thpught that was perfectly oral and is exactly what I would expect when my children goth someone else's.

play DATES

Fuck Normal, not oral!

Hmmmm...

So. Are you going to talk to your friend and ask her wtaf she was thinking?

YANBU at all, OP - that's way out of order. Many years ago, my (then 11 year old) DD went for a sleepover with a newish friend. She found herself sleeping on a sofa in the front room of a strange house because there wasn't a bedroom free & the friends room was 'too small'!! No thought of giving the guest the daughter's room & putting daughter in her familiar front room - or even putting them both in front room ... I was appalled, and DD admitted to having been ' a bit scared' . So, I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask 'where will DD/DS be sleeping' the first time they are invited somewhere...

If we had a newish friend over ( have done lots of sleepovers) when the parents dropped their child off I would make a point of getting ds to take them up to his room so visiting child could show mum or dad where they would be sleeping.