to care about sleeping arrangements at sleepover

[Dromedary]

I think I probably am being unreasonable, so have said nothing to the mother in question, but just to check...
My DD, age 7, was invited to a sleepover at another little girl's house. This was fixed about 2 weeks ahead. I know the family reasonably well and it is a single mother all female household. The little girl has bunk beds in her room.
I obviously assumed that she and my DD would be sharing the bunk beds. But apparently the friend spent the night sharing mum's bed in mum's room and the vacant bunk bed was occupied by the ex-partner, who I have never met or heard about and didn't know would be there.
Am I out of order to have felt unhappy about this when my DD mentioned it?

It is awful, we crb check our teachers and other workers involved with childcare.... Yet let our children into homes where.... As in our case.... People other than the parents we know/trust can wander in and do what they like.

Remember, CRB only means you haven't been caught doing anything dodgy.

As Chilling and Carling Said, totally different situ to the hypothetical one posed in Feminism Room.

Is either situ for real or is it just running each up the flagpole to see who salutes?

That's really offensive.
The transgender incident I mentioned was when I was assaulted by a pre-op MTF transgender person in a single sex women's dorm in a youth hostel many years ago pre-children. Really bizarre situation but actually happened, police called, person banned from using the YHA, but continued to do so (and use women's dorm). The subsequent discussion was around whether people were ok with MTFs using single sex female dorms, where young girls might be put to bed early before their mums joined them. I have stayed in women's dorms with my DDs, but not to my knowledge with a MTF sharing the dorm, so to that extent is was a (clearly stated) hypothetical situation. The recent situation re the sleepover is not a hypothetical situation in any way.
In my view by the way the situations are not totally dissimilar, as in each case a man (or MTF) was present in a bedroom that I had understood would be occupied by females only.

All clear I hope.
Next time I say anything on a thread I'll try to limit it to "I just had a nice cup of tea", so no risk of being accused of making things up.

How do you know it was the ex-partner, does your DD know this? Or did she make it up? Or did she describe him to you and you knew it was him? Do you know who he is?

Yes crb means only that. This sleepover culture is all a bit ott these days... Used to be a rare treat when I was a kid, nowadays it's expected weekly... Well, not anymore with my kids!

The DD called him her friend's dad. I don't know the details of when they split up or anything like that - none of my business. I am aware that there is a dad who does not live with them as he was mentioned to me once in the context of the child staying with him.

I don't think I can provide any more useful information, to be honest. Thanks again Kritiq. That comment has left a sour taste in my mouth and I will now retire to discuss the issue (or not) with the mother in question. Thanks for the input of the others - it has been helpful to see how the majority feel about it.

Good luck with The Conversation OP - and if you can bear it, please do let us know what she said

Yes, good luck with the conversation.

Kritiq- that was an awful thing to say.

For what it's worth OP, a friend of mine was also assaulted by a transgender MTF pre-op.

Good luck, OP. Tough convo to have, but I think it's right.

Sorry you were assaulted - horrible situation.