To have sent DH and 2 day old DD to the hospital....alone!

[Mummyof3tobe]

At our hospital if you have same day discharge after birth you go back 2 days later for basic baby check up. Fair enough in terms of efficient use of NHS resources. But as mum of a 2 day old with stitches, sore and milk coming in I didn't relish the outing.

Then it occurred to me this is BABY check up. They don't need see me. DH can take her. Hospital is 5 mins away, I fed her before they left, worst case of a severe delay DH would have to abandon it and bring her home.

When he arrived midwives kept asking if they should "wait for mum" and in the end called me (interrupting valuable rest time) to confirm they could go ahead and do hearing test on DD. Needed my consent!

Now I understand policy, can't be too careful, just doing job. But if random man had abducted a newborn, complete with red book, would he take her to baby check at hospital??? AIBU to be a little outraged on very capable DHs behalf?

Don't know if it's different in other areas but here the newborn health check is done by a paed or GP, 6-72 hours after birth. DS1 was born at home and DS2 and 3 were discharged before 6 hours so the GP did DS1 and DS2's at home. With DS3 he was born on a wednesday and the GP is part time so we had to go to the hospital for it. The hearing test is done by the HV at home on her first visit.

And would you ask a mother for ID? Why ask the father?

Stickem, my dh has taken ours to loads f things, as have grandparents. No problems. Although on of us had to sign a consent when gps did it.
I don't mean the newborn baby check, more the jabs etc. I think it's pretty common tbh.

I'd have no comment on anyone staying home and sending the baby with dad, as long as he had id

Why? You'd ask every mother too then?

I'd ask the mother for id in the absence of her handheld records, medical notes or if I didn't know her.

Anyway, I just wanted to clarify the type of check the op was discussing and perhaps offer an insight into why a trip in was required in this big of world. I thought maybe some imagined it was a midwifery check, which should Hopefully be done at home on day 1 or 2, for.most. although that may change too.

Obviously it's a can if worms so I'm off, as I want to put my Christmas decorations up

GPs do newborn paediatric checks in my area. I am involved in healthcare commissioning for maternity and neonatal services and the only time we prioritise the mother for something to do with the baby is breastfeeding because that is the only thing fathers cannot do. Fathers can take baby to well baby clinics, paediatric checks, hearing tests, heel prick and other screenings.

As a midwife then yes I would absolutely expect you to be checking maternal wellbeing and I know all too well that abuses happen to some women tacky but a father presenting for any paediatric checks should not automatically ring alarm bells or require mothers consent unless the father does NOT have parental responsibility.

I consider myself to have barely left my babies' sides in the first few weeks but even I nipped put to the local shop the day after giving birth to my pfb without him. If the hospital was as close as you say it is then I really don't see the problem.

Our HV did hearing check at home at ten days - is that different?

I'd ask a man for I'd, or any relative, as I've been witness to a Few instances of family member coerced medical input. It isn't good and I intend to make sure I am never party to it.

In terms of paed checks it might be less of a problem/minefield, but there can be huge issues in families. Which any mumsnetter knows!

And surely it would be difficult to say if the Father had parental responsiblity as these appointments in first few days might well be before birth had been registered ? Think all Father's should be treated respectfully in such situations even if Mother is contacted. HCP's and organisations need to think through their policies and approaches.

I don't think OP is wrong in letting her DH take baby to apps but I can see why some people are shocked, after being constant contact with baby for 9months it is an adjustment to get used to them being separate from you. DH took ds1 when he was 2 days old, down the road to pick up some photos and pop in to show him to friends, was only gone an hour but it felt like a lifetime! Also when breastfeeding , especially your first you worry that they will want a feed and you won't be there etc etc
Having said that by my thirs child I was happy for anyone to have him from the getgo!you take advantage of any chance of a ret you can get!

Since dc2 was born, dh has always done the taking to out of hours docs/A&E and has done his share of GP appointments. I don't think his right to do so has ever been questioned.

I wouldn't have returned to hospital 2 days after birth. No chance.

tree - that is for home visits to establish though, surely? Not hospital based HCPs who are caring for the baby?

Absolutely. I agree.

Tacky OP would have also been visited by a midwife at home that day surely.My reading of it is that this is the routine newborn examination + hearing check. As I said fathers would bring babies up for this all the time with the birth record.

-with juggling.

The rest I can't stop to read - sorry!

Congratulations op, and I hope all the hearing/hips/whatnot were a-ok/as expected

GPs do the paed checks in our area, if you've been discharged. I had to make an appt at the surgery as the GPs don't come to your home here. So 24 hrs after DS was born DP took me to the surgery feeling wiped out. Of course I had to go as at that point we hadn't registered DS's birth.

But I don't have any problem with DP doing any appts with either DC, he's a capable hands on father.

Parental responsibility doesn't start from when the birth is registered - it starts from birth.

Oops hit post too soon. Meant to add "if you are married or in civil partnership".

I'm shocked they do 2 day checks at the hospital.

Over here the public health nurse calls in daily for a few days after discharge, then once a week for a few weeks. No newly postpartum mother is expected to go to an out of house appointment until the baby is a few weeks old at least. Were not even expected to be dressed 2 days pp!

Congratulations and Well done OP for doing what was right for you! :D

I felt forced to drag myself to the hearing assessment 2 days after a traumatic birth to sit on uncomfortable chairs for what felt like an age (was probably only half an hour in reality) I wish I had stayed at home and sent my very capable OH! Anyone suggesting there is problem with wanting to be able to spend an hour in bed, alone after going through birth, clearly had an easier time than I did!

FWIW We also have never had one single midwife or HV at home. I had to drag myself back to the hospital or GP surgery EVERY SINGLE TIME. He's now 1 and has still never seen "our" HV. I am now pretty unimpressed with our PCT.

Celine I know PR begins at birth, if married. We're not, so obviously until DS was registered, I had to be available to provide consent.....

Yes I got that FryOne - spotted he was a DP not a dh :) I was making the point because a few people mentioned registering and birth certificates on the thread.

FWIW, DP doesn't actually have PR for DD, because she was born before the law change, and because we haven't yet got around to sorting it. She's 12, nearly 13 now, and only a few things have ever caused even the slightest problem. But as I'm the one who does all the organising, and thus signs everything anyway, I don't see a major problem.