To think a 5 year old kissing another 5 year old shouldn't involve a trip to the head teacher.

[ClutchingPearls]

DD1 is in reception, doing well, never in trouble, is well liked by other pupils in the school and staff.

Another reception child ran up to her in the playground yesterday, kissed her on the lips and hugged her. Which I feel is completely innocent becasue he had come to school late, missed her because it was his first day back after chicken pox and they are 5 not 15.

School have taken a different approach, they think showing affection to you class mates is punishable. Its a C of E school with very strong links to the local church.

DD1 came out of school yesterday having been held back in the line, I think he was first. Teaching assistant then explained she was crying her eyes out as she had to see the headteacher because of kissing a boy. I laughed, then realised she was serious and have requested a call from head at some point today.

Teaching assistant has said it was just a friendly chat about kissing not being acceptable in school and to not look too much into it. DD1 obviously, like any 5 year old would, sees it as she's been so naughty that the heads had to tell her off.

DD1 won't tell me anymore but is completely traumatised by the whole thing, she worries about being told off and doesn't understand what she did so wrong. I've reasured her and told her I'll be ringing the school throughout the day and if she wants to come home let them know and I'll collect her.

Obviously the school handled it badly but what should I do now? Request the head teacher talks to DD and explains kissing isn't wrong but they would rather not have it in school? Or move on? We plan on inviting the boy for tea, this a good idea or will it make a bigger deal out of it?

But isn't easier just to say no kissing at school, rather than trying to legislate which kissing is acceptable and which isn't.

I remain gobsmacked by some of the responses on here.

this is 2 innocent little kids playing. no one is talking about an 11 year old trying to kiss a 4 year old or of any snogging (homosexual or otherwise).

this is 2 friends being affectionate - to clamp down on that is confusing for the kids concerned.

as for germs - 5 year olds spread germs pretty effectively - stopping them from kissing won't stop the germs spreading.

I kissed a boy in nursery when I was 5. We lost contact soon after, but met again as adults. It all came flooding back and we're happily married now

I wonder what would have happened if I had been told off that day. For the record, I hadn't, but still didn't kiss again for good 12 years and don't recall other nursery kids loosing their morals over this. So, YANBU, it was a massive overreaction.

socharlotte -sledgehammer for your nut at all?

It might be easier

Doesn't stop it being bloody stupid though

And it's not difficult to determine what is and is not appropriate behaviour

If an adult is incapable of doing that, they shouldn't be in a school

'Homosexual snogging' .
I think by the time they get into primary 3 onwards, most kids tend to find kissing boys/girls as yucky.
At 5 it's so lovely and sweet, the connotations that some posters have taken from this are quite frankly worrying.

I think some of you seem to be missing the point that this is a school, not a social event. How many of you go into work and kiss your work colleagues on the lips? Not many I'd presume. School is a formal place of study; it is no place for exchanging physical pleasantries. The earlier children are taught this, the better.

A 5yo kissing a 5yo has nothing to do with the 'sexualisation of children'.

It gets sexualised when the adults watching assume that it's sexual.

I don't have aplayground at work.

Which is where this happened

Not in the classroom. In the playground.

But you have a carpark or a place of entrance? That's irrelevant. What's the difference if it had happened in the classroom?

The difference is if 5 year old kisses another 5 year old in the playground, they are not disrupting the "formal study"

If it happened in class it would not be U for the teacher to say "Don't kiss Lucy now Peter, we are reading"

We do have a carpark. As far as I am aware I can kiss anyone I like in it. It doesn't really work to compare adults and children though

Most of the schools round here do not encourage kissing.
Ds(8) told me, "some of the girls wanted to play kiss-chase but your not allowed kissing games."

Goodness~!! I was once asked about whether I had been 'doing anything I should not have' in front of the children! DD pinned her little friend on the floor at playgroup and kissed him 'with tongues'

The only explaination I could offer was that she and her twin sister had taken to licking each other's tongues whilst in the push chair! I was hugely embarrassed!

On a previous day, I had been pushing them through M&S. They were taking it in turns to lick each other's tongues and laughing their socks off! As I was trying to persuade them to do something less embarrassing, an elderly lady came along and said it was lovely to see them enjoying themselves so much! I asked her if she realised what they were doing (through tears of laughter) and she said she had been a missionary and seen everything - it was good to see children so happy. Such a completely different take! I miss old ladies like her - she would be at least 100 now.

DD just started school, came home the other day and said "Mummy I kissed Daniel today......because he seemed a bit sad..."

That is how a 5 year old thinks.

I'd be livid.

God your DDs head would HATE my DDs school! The reception kids are always smooching! It's completely normal and nice. Idiotic person that HT is!

Kids do learn boundaries, dd1 is 10 now, but when in reception was smitten with a boy in her class and they used to peck each other on the lips. They wouldn't do that now if you bought them an x-box each

A peck on the lips is not "snogging" btw.

socharlotte, thanks for your posts about lips being for lovers, snogging, and even homosexual snogging. I will remember not to take any notice of any future posts as they are utter tripe.

"At 5 it's so lovely and sweet, the connotations that some posters have taken from this are quite frankly worrying."

I totally agree.

Fakebook when you're five school IS A SOCIAL event! It's as much a part of their education as maths and anything else.

I got called in to school when DS#1 was little and he and his best friend were being overly huggy together. I laughed it off then and would again.

"you seriously had me come in because they were mutually enjoying bear hugging each other?!?"

How utterly sad that some posters think kissing should be banned in schools. Of course children should be taught only to kiss/hug/touch if the other person wants to, but that doesn't mean banning it completely.

As for 'school is a formal place of study; no place for exchanging physical pleasantries'. Arf! An EYFS or KS1 classroom is a fantastic place to learn about social pleasantries- physical or otherwise. Should we also ban hand holding or hugging? Heaven forbid that little children should form any kind of bond with their classmates!

DS1 was kissed on the mouth by a girl who wanted to be his girlfriend when they were 6.

The teacher told me they were a bit of an item, that she had told them about appropriate behaviour, and that was that.

Also, a very CoE church linky school.

Teacher told me it is fairly normal for kids this age.

Your school are reacting silly, which is annoying, but you are overreacting too by saying she is completely traumatised...come on!

There are some sad people around who see sex in everything!

Cor blimey. On 2nd January we have to go into work in the morning and kiss everyone 3 times, and wish them a happy New Year. Then drink wine. I find it stressful as I am British and British people don.t DO this. But I don't extrapolate it to SEX. Social kissing is not sexually related AT ALL be you 5 or 50. I would worry about anyone who thought it was.

I kiss people Panto

It's a normal greeting in my social circle and we are UK