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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Parents supplying teens with alcohol

124 replies

dinkybinky · 02/12/2012 17:33

One of the parents at school gave their DS a bottle of vodka to take to a party, he ended up in A&E and had to have his stomach pumped. Apparently there are quite a few parents that think its acceptable to give children under 16 alcohol and do so every weekend. AIBU to think that this is totally irresponsible ?

OP posts:

littlewhitebag · 02/12/2012 17:42

What age was the child? I certainly would not advocate giving a young teen vodka. It might be acceptable to give them a drink in the house but under strict supervision. At 16 i would buy my DD a few alcopop type drinks to take to a party but certainly not vodka. You want teens to learn to drink sensibly. I know some will try to get alcohol when out and about but for a parent to buy it ? that is very irresponsible parenting.

Pilgit · 02/12/2012 17:44

depends on the circumstances. The scenario described - totally stupid and YANBU on that one. However we drank with our parents at home from quite a young age -parents were major wine buffs - and i grew up with a healthy attitude to drinking and a respect for what it can do as a result (as well as a taste for rather expensive red wine....). But it was always part of a nice evening - just as good food and good conversation is - crucially not the route to having a good evening.

Sirzy · 02/12/2012 17:44

Giving them a full bottle of vodka to take to a party is daft.

A couple of drinks in a supervised environment is fine IMO

dexter73 · 02/12/2012 17:46

I buy my daughter alcohol to take to a party. We found out they had been buying it from a man who had quite a long criminal record, and there had also been problems with 'fake' alcohol in our area so I said to her that I would buy it. I feel it is safer as she isn't running the risk of drinking the fake alcohol, she isn't mixing with a man like that and also I have control over what she is drinking to a certain extent as I won't buy spirits but weaker drinks like alcopops. It isn't ideal but to me it is the lesser of two evils.

Original poster

dinkybinky · 02/12/2012 17:51

Its a 14 year old child. Apparently 80% of children at that age drink regularly at weekends. I find it shocking.

OP posts:

littlewhitebag · 02/12/2012 17:54

I would not buy 14 year old kids vodka and if i knew someone who did i would report them to social services! I am not sure 80% of 14 year old drink at weekends surely not? My DD2 is 15 next month and she and her friends would never dream of going out and drinking! BTW i am not naive - i am a children and families social worker!

HairyGrotter · 02/12/2012 17:56

Vodka?! That's far too strong and very very irresponsible!

I would give DD alcopops when she's older, or lower alcohol type drinks if she were attending a party. My friend has a 14 year old DD who comes to the festivals with us, I often give her a few cans of cider or beer to drink, but she's under supervision of her mother and me (not that that's a really good idea, I need supervising really ha).

I'd rather DD had a healthy attitude to alcohol, but hell no on the vodka!!!

ohfunnyface · 02/12/2012 17:56

Stomach pumped? I thought they just gave you charcoal now and left you to get ok with it?

Original poster

dinkybinky · 02/12/2012 18:00

But why do you feel the need to give alcohol, its illegal for one?

OP posts:

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 02/12/2012 18:00

Giving a responsible and sensible 16 yo a couple of alcopos is one thing, giving a 14yo an entire bottle of vodka is another. These parents are ridiculously irresponsible and I would be wondering what other things they thought it was ok to expose a child to. I hope they are thoroughly investigated.

Sirzy · 02/12/2012 18:01

It isnt. Legally you can drink at home from the age of 5.

NotWankinginaWinterWonderland · 02/12/2012 18:01

Wow that's awful, I won't even buy mine energy drinks +16 ones.

goralka · 02/12/2012 18:03

un-fucking-believable - but not so really, I heard of something similar this very weekend. I was so pleased that DS left the party when they broke open the vodka (supplied by the mother) (mind you he knows how it is to wake up pissed in A and E but at least that was not with spirits.) so very dangerous.

PetiteRaleuse · 02/12/2012 18:08

I certainly wouldn't condone giving a teen a bottle of vodka to take to a party.

I remember from when I was about 15 my mum would buy me and my friends who were staying over for a sleepover one of those small bottles of Taboo each (don't know if it still exists, one of the early alchopops). Not enough to get any of us drunk, and it wasunder supervision (my parents were in) but enough to make everyone think my mum was seriously cool (she isn't)

But I was allowed wine from quite a young age with dinner and never went out and got drunk with all mmy friends at weekends as I didn't see the point until years later

My point, I think normalising a moderate alcohpl consumption can come under responsible parenting, but handing out bottles of vodka is bloody irresponsible.

Chopchopbusybusy · 02/12/2012 18:10

Dinkybinky, I don't know where your statistic of 80% of 14 year olds drink regularly at the weekend comes from. Not in my world they don't.
I wouldn't buy my 16 year old DD alcohol to take to a party. Not that she's ever been to a party with alcohol, unless with me. She does like glass of cider which she either has at home with us or at a couple of family type dos recently.
I wouldn't encourage the drinking of alcopops - ever. Devil's piss IMVHO

Chopchopbusybusy · 02/12/2012 18:12

And just to clarify. When I say a glass of cider, I mean she's had about three or four this whole year!

whois · 02/12/2012 18:15

What size is this 'bottle of vodka' if it's one of those small ones I don't think it's such a big deal. A litre is a different matter!

I'd rather buy my hypothetical teen a few ciders or beers or whatever than have them risk buying more/stronger stuff behind my back.

McChristmasPants2012 · 02/12/2012 18:18

Vodka ice and Bacardi breezers ect are still vodka and Bacardi mixed with pop.

When my DC are old enough, I would rather they had a single vodka with a coke/lemonade as you can taste the alcohol unlike vodka ice

Original poster

dinkybinky · 02/12/2012 18:20

Why would you encourage your child to drink alcohol this is what I dont understand? It impairs a childs judgement and personally I think it makes them think that the only way to have fun when you go out is to drink.

OP posts:

GhostShip · 02/12/2012 18:22

Dinkybinky, I don't know where your statistic of 80% of 14 year olds drink regularly at the weekend comes from. Not in my world they don't
I'm with Dinkybinky, a massive proportion are drinking. When I was 14 (7 years ago now -cry- ) most of the year were drinking every weekend. My brother has recently turned 16, I've just asked him and he says everyone he knows drinks and the below years do to.

A bottle of vodka is a bit much though, are we talking straight vodka or...?

DeafLeopard · 02/12/2012 18:24

I'm a bit about the 80% of 14 year olds drinking - I can imagine that 80% of them might say they drink at weekends though.

But giving a bottle of vodka to a 14 year old is asking for trouble.

Chopchopbusybusy · 02/12/2012 18:25

Ghostship, I just don't believe that statistic. Please point me in the direction of a reliable source.

PetiteRaleuse · 02/12/2012 18:25

There's a difference between encouraging it and allowing it under supervision though. Making it a completely banned substance makes it even more tempting. The people I knew at school who drank til they puked or were hospitalised were people who saw it as forbidden.

Original poster

dinkybinky · 02/12/2012 18:27

One teenager in five has been drunk ? on average three times in the past six months. As many as one in three 14- to 16-year-olds drink most weekends, with this group drinking on average 11 units ? the equivalent of seven and a half alcopops or four large cans of beer or cider.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 02/12/2012 18:27

Do you really think Teens who want to drink will not drink because their parents say don't?

If they are going to drink it is better for that to be under supervision than hanging on street corners with the vodka they have stolen from mums cupboard.

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