Parents supplying teens with alcohol

[dinkybinky]

One of the parents at school gave their DS a bottle of vodka to take to a party, he ended up in A&E and had to have his stomach pumped. Apparently there are quite a few parents that think its acceptable to give children under 16 alcohol and do so every weekend. AIBU to think that this is totally irresponsible ?

I cannot stand the spineless style of "best friend parenting" and parents trying to be Cool.

Since when do parents want to be popular with their kids' peers?!

Sad.

Then again, I would let ,y children taste some alcohol, have half a glass of champagne at Christmas etc, as I am European and do not have panic attacks about teens drinking (limited) alcohol.

BTW, sorry for sounding so grumpy, I am grumpy today....

Alcopops are dangerous because they are sweet and easy to drink. A beer or shandy or glass of wine with a family meal is fine.

But I wouldn't send teenagers of 14 to 16 to other people's homes with alcohol without checking with the parents that is fine. I would be furious if people brought vodka into my house for underage children whom I was responsible for without telling me.

The girls at my daughter's very posh, very academic school who brought vodka to a 14th birthday party were given a rollocking by the parents. Who then checked all the bags for drink. I don't blame them one bit. Fourteen is very young physically and emotionally.

The vodka thing is stupid. Should have said so upthread.

But you would send a 14 year old with alcohol if the parents were OK with it? Sheesh. What's wrong with people?

baublesandbaileysSun 02-Dec-12 18:48:09
I agree re alcopops! I would never supply alcopops either! it would be something like beer

I couldn't agree more. I think alcopops are a dreadful and cynical invention aimed at getting people who don't actually like the taste of alcohol to nevertheless spend money on it and consume it.

I have recently supplied teens with alcohol as it happens. My DD was 17 a few weeks ago and invited half a dozen friends around. She asked if they could have a few drinks so, having ascertained that the other girls' parents were ok with this, I supplied a dozen bottles of Becks Lite (2.7%) and a 2 litre bottle of cider as well as plenty of coca cola.

When I cleared up afterwards only half the beer had been opened and the cider hardly touched at all. I think they like the idea of being allowed a beer more than they actually like the beer itself. This does make me raise my eyebrows a bit at this statistic of 80% of 14yo drinking regularly and like chopchopbusybusy this does not happen IME.

A bottle of vodka for a 14yo is so irresponsible I can scarcely believe any parent would be so foolish.

What will the 14 year olds move onto next after they get bored of alcohol, I wonder?

Well it'll be crack obviously binky

I'm nearly 40 and I'm still not bored with alcohol!

Oh yes, they'll be jacking up by their fifteenth birthday of course.

Young people who drink alcohol are 7.5 times more likely to use an illegal drug and 50 times more likely to use cocaine than young people who never drink alcohol

I must be one of few 14 year old alcopop consumers to have avoided a crack habit. Honestly binky...it was so common by the time I was 16

24 now and still thoroughly entertained by alcohol

binky do you really think that the ones who drink no alcohol are the ones from the "absolutely none, no discussion" households?

Saski - I agree - schools these days are pretty hot on attendance and in common with a lot of schools in our area, I can logon and check that DS has registered for each lesson every day.

I just asked DS (aged 14) and he said that yes, there are some people in his year that drink and smoke, but it is the minority not the majority, and usually snuck from parents supply or bought from the dodgy corner shop that sells to them.

Oh and when I was that age, I was drinking regularly with friends, it was so much easier to buy alcohol.

My parents were very strict so we just used to gather at the house of the friend whose parents were out.

I'm chuckling at some of the naive comments on here. Teenagers have always had access to drink. The 70's kids drank 20/20, the 80's ones drunk white lightening and the 90's kids drunk alco pops (do you remember when Hootch and Reef first come out )

We are making a massive assumption that a whole bottle of vodka was given to the boy who ended up in hospital. He might have been given a mini bottle (like one shot) and brought alcohol himself. We don't know the details and its wrong to judge the parents based on what the OP has written.

The statistic to me sounds normal.

Drugs and alcohol are very easily accessible for teenagers - parent drink cabinet, older siblings purchasing it or waiting around corner shops for someone to buy it I didn't do this

I left school in 1999 and drinking alcohol on Friday nights was very normal during years 9-11. It was scary that our year became 'bored' of alcohol and turned to drugs by the time I was in Year 11. I lived in a nice ish area, albeit a small town with not a lot to do, and smoking weed was very normal in my school. Of course not everyone, but I would say a good 50% of the pupils in my year had tried weed.

I recall a good 20 odd girls on our last day of school taking ecstasy as a celebration of leaving . These were the ones who had strict parenting. The ones that didn't get bladdered or high, were the ones whose parents had taken a sensible drinking approach (I recall my mum buying me a couple of bottles of Budweiser for my last day at school).

I know my experience is anecdotal but definitely worth mentioning that if kids want to drink they will find a way to drink. AND that drug availability is rife in most areas. Someone will know someone who sells weed or pills.

I intend to parent the same as my parents did and have a healthy attitude towards drinking, making it normal but not taboo. But I'm worried when my dd reaches her teens, it scares me what might happen.

I do think teenagers now approach drinking differently. My brother is 17 and rarely if ever drinks. He'd happily tell me if he did,but he just doesn't. But we have a big age gap and a lot has changed since I was his age.

That said,nobody won cool point for drinking at school (was in a studious group of friends) or behaving like a tit generally speaking.

I found when I went to university the people who got most drunk,behaved the most inappropriately and got themselves in trouble with friends,girlfriends/boyfriends,police,studies were people who were never allowed to drink when they lived at home. Had no idea how to behave.

It is possible for people under the age of 18 to drink alcohol and not become drug addicts, teenage parents, academic failures or total delinquents. It is not an either/or situation. Most people can be underage drinkers and go on to lead a perfectly normal life.

I think drug use has generally declined amongst young people. My DP is older than me and went to university during the E years. By the time I went, E and indeed any drug, were considered to be for "absolute losers". Drug takers were either in a minority or kept it very quiet.

I agree Dexter I drank underage and smoked weed for a time. I was curious, and I dabbled with drugs in my late teens. However, it was experimental and never intended to be something to continue forever. I'm a professional person with a post grad degree and a good job. It definitely doesn't have to be all or nothing.

the ones under the tightest leash were the ones who crammed as much as they could into any little window of oportunity they found, so would take everything available and their transition from drink to drugs seemed much quicker,

thing is when WHATEVER they did was banned, there was little difference in consequence between 2 drinks and 10, or a drink or drugs or all plus casual sex

some of the kids I knew who were allowed to drink tried drugs, but very few and not with the same appetite as the ones who didn't know when the next time they'ld get the chance to do ANYTHING would be

It is possible for people under the age of 18 to drink alcohol and not become drug addicts, teenage parents, academic failures or total delinquents. It is not an either/or situation. Most people can be underage drinkers and go on to lead a perfectly normal life.

Of course it is, but I don?t think it?s responsible of parents to give alcohol to their children. Alcohol is a drug, in my opinion it?s just as bad as heroin and crack. Look at the club scene in the UK on a Friday and Saturday night, people in this country don?t drink responsibly they drink to excess!

Yes that's right binky every single person who goes out on a Friday or Saturday night drinks to excess AND they kiss more than one person in an evening. Daily mail reader by any chance?

It is the lesser of two evils imo.

I would much rather my DC didn't drink under 18 at all but I am not naive, I was once 14 and I know that for quite a big proportion of under 18s they do do it whether you like it or not. What can you do short of imprisoning them?

So your options are to buy them it and let them do it at home. That way you know exactly what they are drinking and how much, and you also know that they are safe and not out on the streets.

Not buy them it and have them source it elsewhere (could be fake alcohol, laced with drugs, who knows?) and do it out on the streets where absolutely anything could happen to them.

I know what i'm choosing. I started drinking at 14 actually at a friends house- we got into her parents drink cabinet when they were out and I thought it would be a bright idea to try a bit of everything. I was blathered, got very sick and mum grounded me. I then went on to drink cider/beer/vodka/wine every single weekend on the streets or at friends houses (sometimes in clubs but shh). I put myself into incredibly dangerous situations, had alcohol poisoning once as well. I was lucky I wasn't raped, attacked or worse..

Now maybe if my mother would have bought me a sensible amount and allowed my friends and I to do it at home I might not have ended up how I did. So I don't actually think it is a bad thing and as far as i'm aware its legal to drink at home from a stupid age like five.

I agree that persistent kids have always had access to alcohol, but what sort of fucked up message are you sending if you buy alcohol for your kids? There are lots of things that I expect my kids will eventually do that I don't actually facilitate. Parental disapproval draws a line for kids. The line for sure lies beyond where they don't partake, but it certainly provides a boundary that they can't have if the parents are on board.

And yes, it's just that parent-as-friend thing that I hate. You see these mothers, and frankly, they're just pathetic. I feel sorry for the kids, because these are the mothers that eventually the kids are mothering.