To tell Dsis (9) that if she "won't sit at a table where people are eating non free range turky" that she can eat her christmas dinner alone on the balcony.

[honeytea]

My lovely adorable and slightly precocious little sister is 9 and has been a self declared vegetarian since she was about 4.

My family are coming to stay with us for Christmas and my mum has kindly offered to cook Christmas dinner which is fab as I am due to give birth on the 8th (but feel like the baby is happy in my tummy and won't be here till much closer to Christmas.) I was talking to my mum and sister today about what I should buy for dinner, they fly to us on the 23rd and we have a christmas day celebration with my DP's family on the 24th so I need to get prepared. I went trough all the vegies and stuff for a nut roast, then I said maybe I will get a big chicken instead of a turky and my little sister said well you had better make sure it is free range as I won't sit at a table where there meat that is not free range, I said to her that is fine she can sit on the balcony and eat her dinner.

AIBU and a nasty big sister, I will look for a free range chicken but I don't often buy meat and I have no idea if you can even buy free range chickens in the country we live in.

Yes we love the cuddly. That's why often wolves are a hard sell. But considering that last month I cuddled an Arctic wolf while another sniffed my bottom...I am very slanted....

Good girl.

Funny, I'd have said wolves enjoyed a considerable degree of visibility in the conservation world, with high-profile advocates like Helene Grimaud. Certainly more so than your average endangered nematode.

she has already tried to compromise (free range meat rather than no meat)

But she isn't being made to eat the meat at all.

It isn't her house, it's her sisters house. My brother and I are best friends, we are incredibly close and see each other almost every day as we live down the road from each other. I am very comfortable in his house and get on fantastically with his housemates, who happen to be some of my best friends. It's still his house. I am still always a guest in his house.

Punk - less of the 'people who are not interested in food or the why or where' thank you. That exact sanctimonious attitude is precisely what is off-putting among people who consider themselves activists.

I care very much where my food comes from. I only buy free-range meat and eggs, I buy locally wherever possible and am concerned with issues like food miles and ensuring that food producers in Britain and elsewhere are able to make a profit and look after their landscape while still rearing animals or growing crops in an ethical and sustainable manner.

Doesn't mean that I think the OP's sister deserves a 'high five' for trying to blackmail her family. That kind of self-centred behaviour should be addressed in children regardless of what the motivations or reasons are behind it. The fact that is so often isn't these days goes a great way to explaining why we have such a grabby, selfish society emerging.

Wolves are visible yes, but still hated by many...

I don't see blackmail here at all. I don't consider that I am sanctimonious either. A lot of people have no interest in the source of their food. That is their choice. I didn't say they were right or wrong. Or that I am a better person. I'm not.

Expressing an opinion is self-centred? Not in my household.

It's actually great that she's going to learn the lesson that "It's easier to fight for your principles than live up to them" so early in life. Many people don't get the opportunity till much later and are unbearable hypocrites in the meantime. She will thank you for preventing this happening to her, even as she's eating her nut roast on the balcony.

Agreed; I have yet to see a nematode fleece cuillereasoupe

I wouldn't give her the option of eating her dinner anywhere else other than the table with everyone else, otherwise you are just encouraging her to be rude.

Tell her it is free range and tell her to behave herself.

Thank you, LaQueen. If the idea of not having battery hens and chickens is dogmatic and righteous, then I am happy with that. It's something I feel strongly about.

Family. Not merely a guest. There is a distinction.

I haven't read all of the replies but I'm shocked at the people defending your sister.

IMO this is less about her principles and more about her manners. Which are lacking.

She's being invited in your home. She's not being asked to eat the meat. Yes it's great that the she has her morals and stands by them but she's nine FFS. She needs manners putting on her.

Your mother should not be letting her away with behaviour like this. She hasn't yet learned to discuss her opinions and preferences in a mature way (naturally since she's a child) but she MUST learn that you can't behave that way. Especially in somebody else's home!

YANBU in not allowing a spoiled little madam to dictate what you can or cannot buy.

Expressing an opinion and demanding that others conform to it are two totally different things. Can you really not grasp that?

I know she isn't being forced to eat meat (and in fact I suspect that might be illegal in Sweden as children's rights to religion and belief are protected there and vegetarianism is a recognised belief in the EU) but there are many vegetarians who choose not to attend meals where other people will be eating meat. As she is a child she isn't able to make that choice but that doesn't make it okay to force her to go against her principles. Would you equally force a Hindu child to eat at a table someone else was eating beef at just because you could, and you have different beliefs? I think respect goes both ways and that means the op does have to respect her dsis's principles, especially as the dsis isn't even able to avoid the situation yet. If dsis had actively chosen to go to Sweden for Christmas then it might be more reasonable to expect her to put up with the choice she has made, but it sounds a lot like she doesn't get to choose. If you're forcing someone to do something then for your pleasure or convenience then the least you can do is adapt it so that it doesn't contradict her principles too much.

walter - it's not really an invitation if she can't decline it so I don't think your point stands. I agree she did a bad job of phrasing her objections but that's to be expected for a 9 year old.

Haven't read the whole thread but for heaven sake manners do not trump principles. Imagine where that leads.

Teddy of course my point stands!

If you took your children to visit friends/family would you allow them to do and say whatever they wanted? Be rude, obnoxious, disobedient because YOU made the decision to visit and they had to comply?

I'd be very tempted to let her follow through on her principles....if she is refusing to sit at the table,then let her use the alternative you have kindly provided (ie,the balcony)

I'd also tell her the old saying...'you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar'......if she is being dictatorial about her principles,she will alienate others from the validity of those principles.If she sat at the table and calmly answered any questions about her choice regarding vegetarianism ,then that is more likely to persuade others to join in.

Rather than viewing what looks like a petulant preteen having a sulky strop on the balcony.

(I wouldn't try fob her off by disguising a non-free range turkey,she is on to you now and will see it as her mission to expose you!!)