To tell Dsis (9) that if she "won't sit at a table where people are eating non free range turky" that she can eat her christmas dinner alone on the balcony.

[honeytea]

My lovely adorable and slightly precocious little sister is 9 and has been a self declared vegetarian since she was about 4.

My family are coming to stay with us for Christmas and my mum has kindly offered to cook Christmas dinner which is fab as I am due to give birth on the 8th (but feel like the baby is happy in my tummy and won't be here till much closer to Christmas.) I was talking to my mum and sister today about what I should buy for dinner, they fly to us on the 23rd and we have a christmas day celebration with my DP's family on the 24th so I need to get prepared. I went trough all the vegies and stuff for a nut roast, then I said maybe I will get a big chicken instead of a turky and my little sister said well you had better make sure it is free range as I won't sit at a table where there meat that is not free range, I said to her that is fine she can sit on the balcony and eat her dinner.

AIBU and a nasty big sister, I will look for a free range chicken but I don't often buy meat and I have no idea if you can even buy free range chickens in the country we live in.

[Morloth]

Meh, all too hard.

Just do what you were going to do anyway. Tell her if it isn't free range so she can decide where to sit and just forget about it.

She is still learning how to behave, its fine - she will learn that she can't control other people's food and that might mean that she sometimes ends up eating alone, it isn't a big deal.

No need for any dramatics or knocking yourself out trying to find free range if it is really tricky.

[differentnameforthis]

So she is being punished for her beliefs? Not great!

Oh & calling a 9 yr old with strong beliefs precocious & brat. Nice move!

[quirrelquarrel]

Precocious is a neutral/positive term-just means they're more advanced than their peers?

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Nobody's calling her anything because of what she believes: it's the way she's threatening to behave that is at issue.

[Blu]

If a fully grown MIL issued an ultimatum like this then some of the comments on this thread would be appropriate. But she is 9, young, unskilled in social subtleties, probably told that standing up for her beliefs is good.

Tact is one of the hardest things to learn. Give her time, and help in the form of open discussion rather than a 'backatcha' challenge.

[quirrelquarrel]

I don't see how taking her literally and asking her to sit somewhere else is punishment, anyway. If people were more relaxed about Christmas it would be a lot less tense for many.

[exoticfruits]

I would just leave the problem with her and not get involved. Just say 'whatever' and let her choose her own seat.

[honeytea]

I used the word precococious in terms of thinking/acting above her age, I guess most 9 year olds main concern at christmas is the gifts and if they can eat choclate for breakfast.

She isn't a brat, she is a very lovely thoughtful child, she just needs to learn how to use her charm to voice her opinions rather than try to manipulte the situation.

I am very proud of her :)

[Punkatheart]

Bessie - don't worry. My chickens are up, armed and have a licence to kill if any more ill-mannered comments appear. I gave one some raisins this morning and she made purring noises. Nature. Can't beat it.

I love the image (by exoticfruits) of an adult saying 'whatever.' It reminds me of a suggested solution to teenagers who wear their trousers round their backsides. Do it yourself! They hate it!

Good for you being proud of her.....and have the most wonderful Christmas. I was your sister once...so it will make me smile to think of that fierce little spirit....

[ImperialSantaKnickers]

Still no explanation about the eating of human flesh...

~BTW never mentioned in any of my posts that I admire your dsis and your plan to tell her about the amazing power of tact and negotiation rocks - can I be at least the third poster to say 'catch more flies with honey than vinegar' ?

[socharlotte]

'Not a damned chance in Hell that a 9 year old in my home would ever be allowed to dictate to, and sneer at a group of adults - whilst sitting on her bum not contributing in any physical/practical or monetary sense to the proceedings'

This exactly

[Mu1berries]

+1

[valiumredhead]

+2

[BelleDameSousMistletoe]

I love the sound of your sister.

You know you just need to explain about the inclusive/manners bit and let her make her own mind up (although I'd go for the beef myself - much nicer).

[MrsBethel]

+3

A 9 year old is being childish. Deal with it.

[QuacksForDoughnuts]

How do people know the child isn't making any practical contribution? She could be peeling all the veg and making dessert for all we know, the OP hasn't said either way. Don't see why her dad can't be the more mature person and eat something different (vegetarian food or moose/elk - a creature where the fight would be a bit fairer!) for the sake of harmony between the rest of the family...

[Punkatheart]

A 9 year old IS a child - so they are bound to be childish. Stamping on them in a Victorian manner is not the answer. However, I do agree that she can be taught to be more tactful rather than blunt...but then again, she is speaking to her sister and they know and love one another well. My sister and I are very blunt with one another. There is no harm in that. We have never ever fallen out.

[BupcakesAndCunting]

I would punt her off the balcony like a rugby ball, she would be closely followed by her nut roast.

[Punkatheart]

Blimey, Bupcakes.

(makes mental note to strike Bupcakes from babysitting list)

[BupcakesAndCunting]

[diddl]

"Don't see why her dad can't be the more mature person and eat something different"

She´s getting what she wants to eat-why shouldn´t her father?

If she demands that they all become vegetarian-should they do that too??

[honeytea]

free range chicken update, we went to the shop today and all the eggs are free range (inomhus which means inside house which is probably kindest as it is -16 today) but non of the chickens said free range on them, lots said raised ethically to improve the quality of the meat maybe that means free range.

I am still leaning towards beaf we will see what my parents think :)

[JustFabulous]

If she is always the centre of attention maybe it is time that changed a little..

[Punkatheart]

Talking to one's sister? Honestly. Saying what you mean? Hardly inappropriate. Stamping and making a scene at the table might be.....but it really is important to make a distinction here. There has been no tantrum at the table, has there?

You can't go wrong with beef, honeytea. Cows run wild and free....