To tell Dsis (9) that if she "won't sit at a table where people are eating non free range turky" that she can eat her christmas dinner alone on the balcony.

[honeytea]

My lovely adorable and slightly precocious little sister is 9 and has been a self declared vegetarian since she was about 4.

My family are coming to stay with us for Christmas and my mum has kindly offered to cook Christmas dinner which is fab as I am due to give birth on the 8th (but feel like the baby is happy in my tummy and won't be here till much closer to Christmas.) I was talking to my mum and sister today about what I should buy for dinner, they fly to us on the 23rd and we have a christmas day celebration with my DP's family on the 24th so I need to get prepared. I went trough all the vegies and stuff for a nut roast, then I said maybe I will get a big chicken instead of a turky and my little sister said well you had better make sure it is free range as I won't sit at a table where there meat that is not free range, I said to her that is fine she can sit on the balcony and eat her dinner.

AIBU and a nasty big sister, I will look for a free range chicken but I don't often buy meat and I have no idea if you can even buy free range chickens in the country we live in.

[bradywasmyfavouriteking]

Oh yeah and what Lynette said.

Since she isn't going to eat she is definitely bu.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

I don't think you should lie. If you genuinely can't get a free range bird, then explain to her why and say that you tried. And let her eat on her lap in another room, not outside. I'm sure she'll sneak back in when she hears the rest of you having fun, and if she doesn't she could come to the table so you can all eat Christmas pudding together.

[squeakytoy]

only if it is a vegetarian pudding..

[ImperialSantaKnickers]

My reading of the OP was that you had originally gone nut roast, but were now going chicken or turkey and that dsis was going to eat that too. If so, it is utterly immoral to lie to her about what she's eating. If she's going to be eating a separate nutroast whatever the rest of you end up with on the other hand... well, it's still not very nice.

[honeytea]

I think that actually once it comes to it and the excitment of christmas day and a new baby is entertaining her she will forget the ethical dilema that is the turky, I hope so anyway!

I am a lovely big sister to her normally, we take her on holiday and she is like my first baby. I just think she needs to be told her opinion however ethically sound does not mean other people have to bend to her especially when she won't even be eating the food.

She reminds me of myself, I cried at my grandparents house one christmas when the turky was put on the table, my mum was pandering to my emotions and saying I wish she had just said oh don't be so silly!

[JustFabulous]

No no no no no

refusing to eat at the same table as everyone else is just rude

no excuse for it

she is making a point in an appaling way and being only 9 she needs telling before she gets worse

if it was my dd i would be mortified and embarrassed

[honeytea]

Oh no, she will have a nutroast to eat, also some quorn fillet type things, I would never give her meat.

[Cozy9]

She sounds like a precocious brat! YANBU.

[specialsubject]

no leather shoes, I hope? This kind of 'principle' is usually very half-arsed, although at 9 she can't be expected to be smart enough to think it through.

She sits on the balcony unless she has some manners. Actually that applies at any age.

[Punkatheart]

I have chickens...they are adorable, full of character and they love their spoilt free-range life. Sorry...but I am with your Dsis. She sounds as if she has opinions and principles...good for her...

[SminkoPinko]

lol. She sounds ace. I wouldn't give her too much attention over it. I think it's cool that she has principles but as others gave said it's part of growing up to learn that not everyone agrees with you and that it's quite a fine line between stating your views and imposing them on others in a rude way.Just buy a range of stuff you will all enjoy according to your principles not hers. I expect she won't make an issue of it when it comes to it but if she wants to leave the table and miss all the feasting that's her look out, I'd say!

[honeytea]

Punkathearts my sister also has chickens that I hate as she made me hold one telling me it was friendly and it pecked me on my gum! Maybe I should tell her to bring one of her own free range chickens, that might be just too mean!

[Rudolphstolemycarrots]

I'm liking your sis, she cares about animals.

[MrsWembley]

I'm sorry, but can everyone who had told the OP that she is BU and should get a free-range bird read the whole thread!!

She can't, or at least has said it will be very difficult. If she's thought enough about it to post here then I'm fairly certain she's thought about where she could source one.

[elfycat]

Buy a free range one but then refuse to confirm to her if it is or not and hide the packaging.

[CheeseStrawWars]

I think fair enough for her to say she won't eat it, and I salute her principles. But refusing to sit at the table is not really the way to make friends and influence people. Tell her everyone will be focusing on her behaviour, rather than her point, if she refuses to sit with you.

[Meglet]

I like your little sister. She might be a bit of a madam but I don't blame her for not wanting to eat free range meat.

Sitting on the balcony is daft though, unless it's hot and sunny then she's probably got a good deal.

My dad dug up a turnip for his Xmas dinner when he was 5 as he was vegetarian and his parents didn't quite believe him before then.

[MammaTJ]

You sound like a lovely caring big sis, so whatever you decide on the day, given the circumstances will be fine!!!

Seriously, you have said she may be distracted by new baby/Christmas/seeing family and forget her ethics. If she does remember, she knows where the balcony is!!!

[honeytea]

My sister is great, I am proud of her awareness and morals. I just feel she needs to learn to be more diplomatic about her opinions!

[LifeOnACrunchieBar]

It's pretty easy to get a free range chicken and I agree with her sentiments of she's a hardcore veggie. Wouldn't hurt...

[Lia87]

Don't 'make' her sit on balcony for xmas! Poor thing ha ha
but don't change the meal, especially if she's not eating it. just leave it to her to decide where she sits and i'm sure she'll change her mind on the day. If not she has impressive determination!

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

I wouldn't lie to her, but I would just stay calm and say that "this is the turkey, it was raised XYZ. If your principles won't allow you to eat at table with us when it is served you can eat and that is fine. It's up to you" and let her decide.
My no3 son refuses to eat pork and pork products, (long story, not for religious or cultural reasons) and we don't make him, and we don't lie to him. That said, he somehow decided that "Cumberland" isn't pork (in sausages) and we eventually established that he pictures Cumberlands as little furry creatures roaming the fells "like Haggis but in England" and have never bothered to correct him either.
I think if his reasons for not wanting pork were idealogical then I wouldn't do the "cumberland thing" - it would make a difference. Just because someone is young doesn't make their opinions and principles invalid or less "worthy" than adults.

[SoupDragon]

She isn't eating the turkey so yes, put her on a separate table if she can't be well manned

[AMumInScotland]

Simply tell her that it is not free range, and that you respect her principles so she may choose whether to sit at the table or elsewhere. I think it's right to show respect for the fact that she has thought about it and made her choice. But she has to realise that she can't impose her views on everyone else, and also that having views and sticking to them may sometimes have a cost in terms of inconvenience or lack of enjoyment.

The meal is what it is.
You have provided her with an alternative to suit her views/diet.
Any further choices are entirely up to her.

[apostropheuse]

She's not being asked to eat the turkey.
She's being provided with a vegetarian dinner to her liking.
Not everone has the same beliefs or principles.
We should all respect one another's beliefs.
She's being a precocious little brat.

Tell her she's free to eat her dinner whenever she likes. Don't pander to her nonsense. She's the one who's missing out.