To tell Dsis (9) that if she "won't sit at a table where people are eating non free range turky" that she can eat her christmas dinner alone on the balcony.

[honeytea]

My lovely adorable and slightly precocious little sister is 9 and has been a self declared vegetarian since she was about 4.

My family are coming to stay with us for Christmas and my mum has kindly offered to cook Christmas dinner which is fab as I am due to give birth on the 8th (but feel like the baby is happy in my tummy and won't be here till much closer to Christmas.) I was talking to my mum and sister today about what I should buy for dinner, they fly to us on the 23rd and we have a christmas day celebration with my DP's family on the 24th so I need to get prepared. I went trough all the vegies and stuff for a nut roast, then I said maybe I will get a big chicken instead of a turky and my little sister said well you had better make sure it is free range as I won't sit at a table where there meat that is not free range, I said to her that is fine she can sit on the balcony and eat her dinner.

AIBU and a nasty big sister, I will look for a free range chicken but I don't often buy meat and I have no idea if you can even buy free range chickens in the country we live in.

www.ukwolf.org

A review of The Wolf Princess (not mine):

www.overflowinglibrary.com/2012/10/review-wolf-princess-by-cathryn.html

To all those who suggested that the OP buy a chicken, throw away the packaging and claim its free range: the difference is obvious immediately as intensively farmed chickens have their hocks cut off so the burns from sitting in piss and shit are not visible.
Free range chickens don't get hock burns as they are able to stand and move around.

I love your sister!

quirrel that video is so sad. It is one of humankinds less admirable qualities to be able to compartmentalise things in their heads in that way. I bet that the majority of the people cooing over that cow eat meat.

At home my family only eat free range meat so she is happy, I think she has decided that it is more important to be able to socialise with her friends at school lunch time and parties than to question what is in their mc chicken burger, but she feels relaxed enough with family to make her opinions known.

We will be having a big Swedish celebration on the 24th and that hasn't even come up in conversation, i suppose she just excepts that she can't dictate to my DP's family what sort of meat they are allowed to serve. We were on holiday staying with my DP's mother and she had sweetly made my sister a vegie alternative that had fish eggs in, she just thought that Dsis would eat it because she ate chicken eggs, I can see the logic. Dsis was very good and just left the bits with fish eggs.

She goes busking on her keybord but that money goes to a charity that helps displaced people have tents and cooking equipment and basic living tools I would feel bad to send her out busking to buy a turky/chicken as we could afford one (if there was one to buy.) I have just never seen anything advertised in the super markets here or when you go out to eat, I guess if all chickens are barn chickens then maybe it just isn't an issue. Animal rights are not as thought about in Sweden, they are very concerned with human rights but animals are seen in a practical way, hunting (for food not just fun) is very normal when I go over to my DP's relatives they show me photos of the latest kills.

I am on the verge of just buying organic beaf, I think it is much tastier than chicken and we can make yorkshire pudding yummy!

The present ideas sound great! punk the book sounds magical :)

It'sAllGoing
I see your point. But I fell a bit in love with the woman who said that her whole family had turned veggie because of Maxine
Just seeing the cow running at the end made me do that very undistinguished snorty/teary/laughy thing. There's heartwarming bits!

quirrel twas the industrial revolution. Before that, more or less everyone lived on the land or in small towns where food was bought from markets. Industrial revolution coincided with the enclosure movement and the industrialisation of farming, part of which was in response to suddenly having these enormous cities that had to be fed, so it was all interlinked. But basically, people stopped living on and off the land and couldn't feed themselves through produce that they'd grown or reared themselves, thus creating a market at the same time as technology and social change made a gap that farming for profit could fit into.

It is get problems leave it to her to decide where to sit. If you ignore her I doubt whether she will take herself off.

I do organic beef when we have carniverous ILs for Xmas. .

I'd agree it's a generally 'happier meat' than poultry because of all the 'barn-reared' etc misdirection that goes on. & yy to yorkies! Yum.

Thanks Wilson

OK, I haven't read the thread, but your sister needs to learn that she can't impose her choices and views on others, and to show tolerance towards other views. Perfect time for her to start. By the time she's 12 she'll be 'human'!!

Sorry OP but I think it's highly significant that she is not taking the same tack with your DH's family. If it really were that strongly held a principle she would extend it to all social events. You said yourself earlier that she is used to being able to boss your mum about. I'm sure she is genuine in her beliefs and cares about this but if it really important she would be extending these demands to every situation not just the ones where she has a history of being able to win.

For me letting her eat on the balcony (or wherever) would basically send her a message that she can dominate every social event and for me that's a bad principle for a child. Principles are important but if they can be compromised for your DH's family they can be compromised for you...

She is more human than most, Jux. Humanity is about compassion, strength of feeling.

You really need to read the thread...it's a great debate....

What quesadilla said.

Goodness a lot's happened since I was last here, back on page 4...

I'm constantly amazed by the number of people who launch in with their tuppence ha'penny, without reading the thread - sometimes without reading the OP properly. I know it takes a few minutes to read through, but it saves wasting time writing out advice that it turns out OP has already heard and accepted! It also stops posters looking like a twat when they make an identical YABU reply to someone three pages before...

Meanwhile did we ever discover where ValiumRedHead had sat at a table with people eating human flesh - my mind is boggling.

Oh and OP - agree about the organic beef option - and the yorkshire puddies - it is the Knickers Towers celebratory meal of choice too!

that's me told! Sorry.

I think I have a solution that will keep everybody happy.

Ask one of your hunting relatives to provide the food - that would be free range!

To be fair on your sister, although I think your response is reasonable (you are just pointing out the practical consequences of her decision), I think making heartfelt, but rather black and white and impractical declarations of personal values is just part of growing up.

The thing is here, that the sister wants everyone to only cater to her for dinner, ignoring the fact that for the step dad, turkey is something that is important to him for christmas. Why should he miss out on what he enjoys just because the child is throwing a strop. She is being catered for, and needs to accept that there are times that not everything on a dining table will be exactly what she wants.

OP, why don't you ask her to research free range turkeys in Sweden and find out where you would source one from? Tell her that it's important to your step dad to have turkey and christmas, and you would like to serve free range, but don't know where to get one in Sweden. Perhaps her doing the research herself and coming up empty handed would make her realise that it's not just as simple as trotting off to the corner store to get one where you live. It's easy to be principled when you can have your principles catered to in any tescos. Not so easy when living in some other parts of the world.

So does DM ensure everything they have at home is free range ?

Yep they have chickens so the eggs come from their own chickens, then all the meat is free range but DM doesn't cook meat very often anyway.

Cook what you like and show her to the balcony if she has a problem with that! YANBU.

If you're willing to encourage her to continue such poor behaviour at the age of nine by giving in and/or lying to her, then be prepared for this to not be the last wildly rude demand from her. Not for this visit, not for the future. If she doesn't want to eat something for what ever principle I fully support her. But if she wants to be a demanding jerk in other people's homes about those principles, I'm amazed you and your parents encourage this.

"That's your choice. Please leave the room then." I wouldn't dictate to her he has to eat on the balcony - dont give her the opportunity for martyrdom by behaving as badly as she is. She has made a decision and principled stand. That doesn't mean everyone else has to let it bother them in the slightest.

Sorry OP the fact she doesn't make a fuss at school/parties/your IL's show me just how principled she is - only when she knows she can get her own way!

I think her principles are wonderful, I do. But she will very quickly find life difficult if she takes such an extreme stand. And perhaps as an adult she will - like the pp who doesn't associate with those who eat non free range food. And as an adult that will be her choice. As a child her family should take into consideration her requests - as you are doing - but you ultimately get to make the final decision.

Your dsis sounds awesome

Oh and I am LOVING the way laqueen bangs on about manners while being embarrassingly rude to punk

Your Dsis sounds lovely. She's doing an awful lot for other people & the plant already, at 9 - more than most people on this thread saying she's a brat and/or a kid and should do as she's told

She is clearly trying to work within the boundaries of things she can & can't control. She's clearly close to you so has stated what she will do if the meat isn't free range, but accepts in other situations she is expected to be more polite and conform - which is partly good & partly a shame.

She obviously sees you/your home as an extension of her immediate family & home (which you are/seems like it is) rather than say visiting an aunt or something. They have free range at home so she was just reiterating how important it is to her. You could have either said, this is my house (thus infering it's not hers/her business, which really wouldn't be very kind) so I will do what I want and if you don't want to sit at the table, that's OK (you didn't need to threaten/offer the snowy balcony) or you could have said 'Dsis - we don't have the same 'free range' options here as you do in the UK, I will look into it and get the one that has been treat the best while it was alive that I can find' - instantly taking the fire out of the situation.

It was predictable what most of the responses would be though as soon as 'vegetarian' was mentioned. We aren't popular on MN.