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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not expect me ex to deny our relationship!?

91 replies

dawsonjunior · 01/12/2012 14:29

We weren't together for ages (4 months) but he introduced me as his girlfriend to his friends, heard him mention my on the phone to his parents, told each other that we loved one another.

He got chatting to someone who didn't know was my friend, she asked if he was single and he said yes since May.

He's my ex for a reason. But I wouldn't deny our relationship.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 01/12/2012 14:34

why on earth do you still care? Confused

4 months is a short space of time.. he is single now anyway isnt he?

QOD · 01/12/2012 14:35

So when did you split up then?

dawsonjunior · 01/12/2012 14:38

I have more respect for our relationship than to just deny it.

We split up about a week ago.

OP posts:
Theicingontop · 01/12/2012 14:38

I'd be wondering why my friend was trying to chat up my ex Confused

You shouldn't care, he clearly doesn't think you were serious, it was only four months. Maybe he didn't want to get into the details of a brief relationship with someone he thought he might have a chance with. Just forget about it.

missymoomoomee · 01/12/2012 14:39

Maybe he just didn't want to get into his love life with a stranger, maybe he fancied your friend and didn't want her to know he had been seeing someone, maybe he knew she was your friend and wanted to annoy you.

How did your friend know who he was if he didn't know who she was? I don't think she was being very helpful by telling you tbh, sounds like you may not be over him if you are still bothered by what he says.

squeakytoy · 01/12/2012 14:40

How is asking someone if they are single defined as chatting them up? Unless it is said with a leer and a wink or a nudge, it is just a general question to me.

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 01/12/2012 14:40

He didn't deny it, he failed to mention a very brief relationship.

Some people don't like to mention everyone they have been out with.

Since it was brief he may not feel the need to point it out, he also may have felt it wasn't serious or exclusive.

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 01/12/2012 14:41

Why did she ask him that if she knew he had been with you until a week ago?

Surely she already knew the answer.

There is more to this isn't there OP.

dawsonjunior · 01/12/2012 14:43

He spoke about getting married, so it was serious.

I'm still mourning the loss our relationship yes.

We went to New York for a week in late September, but he told her that he went alone Confused

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 01/12/2012 14:46

speaking of marriage in a 16 week relationship is no indication that he was serious.. plenty of men just say what they think the woman wants to hear..

Theicingontop · 01/12/2012 14:48

Why was she asking all these questions though? Was she spying for you?

Montybojangles · 01/12/2012 14:50

Sorry it didn't work out, but four months is not very long, and if he's trying to pull he's hardly likely to tell someone he just split up last week is he?
Better to find out hes not that bothered, than to hang around hoping he might be back I would say.

missymoomoomee · 01/12/2012 14:50

Speaking about marriage is no indication of the seriousness of the relationship tbh. I'm sorry you are hurting but dwelling on a 100 day romance and asking friends to report back things he says is just going to prolong the hurt.

dawsonjunior · 01/12/2012 14:50

Not spying no. She had a chance meeting with him whilst waiting for her friend at a bar.

She recognised him and started talking.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 01/12/2012 14:52

did this conversation take place while you were with him or after you split up?

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 01/12/2012 14:52

It was 16 weeks, whatever he said it wasn't serious. sorry.

Maybe he knew exactly why she was asking, maybe he did know she knows you.

Maybe he wasn't ready to disclose that he had recently broken up with someone.

Why was she snooping?

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 01/12/2012 14:54

But why did she ask him questions she already knew the answers to?

Why didn't the conversation start with 'you are dawsons ex aren't you, how are you?'

When did she fail to mention she knew him, get this information then rely it back to you?

dawsonjunior · 01/12/2012 14:55

took place after we split.

he definitely does not know we a re friends, never mentioned her, never saw her when were together and she doesn't have fb either.

OP posts:
missymoomoomee · 01/12/2012 14:57

So how does she know who he is then Xmas Confused

StarbugEnterprise · 01/12/2012 14:57

So why was your friend asking is he was single if she knew he was with you? Confused

It seems like you were quite serious quite quickly, if so YANBU (If you both thought it was serious!)

StarbugEnterprise · 01/12/2012 14:58

Ignore the first bit just seen your most recent comment.

LineRunner · 01/12/2012 14:59

How did she recognise him, if he'd never seen her before?

Tbh, maybe he didn't like being probed by a stranger. I often 'lie' if someone I don't know asks me impertinent questions.

dawsonjunior · 01/12/2012 14:59

we weren't together when she asked him.

i've sent her photos of me and him together, and i rang her up and told her that we had broken up and that I was never given a proper reason as to why we broke up.

OP posts:
bradywasmyfavouriteking · 01/12/2012 15:02

So she was fishing for info then?

How can you be pissed off that he didn't mention you, but think its ok for her to start a conversation, and try and get information out of him, with him without telling him who she was?

Double standards. She was being deceptive and so was he. I would assume he thought there was something strange about the questions and suspected he was being probed for info.

To be honest the whole situation is a bit childish.

squeakytoy · 01/12/2012 15:03

I think you are hurt by him ending the relationship, your mate probably wasnt being too tactful by telling you the details of the conversation, although to be fair, if a complete stranger approached me and started questioning me, I might tell them whatever I wanted to and not care if it was true or not.