to not expect me ex to deny our relationship!?

[dawsonjunior]

We weren't together for ages (4 months) but he introduced me as his girlfriend to his friends, heard him mention my on the phone to his parents, told each other that we loved one another.

He got chatting to someone who didn't know was my friend, she asked if he was single and he said yes since May.

He's my ex for a reason. But I wouldn't deny our relationship.

Did you ask her why she didn't say 'Hi you're dawsons ex aren't you' rather than trying to get some gossip about you from him. It sounds a bit mean of your friend since she knew who he was, knew you had broken up, knew about the trip etc. She was just gathering information that was going to hurt you and then reported back.

I think maybe he fancied her so thats why he lied about our relationship.

I agree it is childish, I suppose I'm just feeling really hurt at the moment.

I'm sorry you're feeling hurt. It's really shitty when you think a relationship's going somewhere, and the man says 'enough' without a proper explanation.

I think the conversation with the friend sounds a bit pointless, though, really. Either you put your friend up to it (not a good idea, honest), or you didn't put her up it in which case why would she do that and then tell you?

Focus on moving on. Don't dwell on things.

I just really want him back.

But now I have my answer. He denied our relationship, therefore we aren't getting back together.

"I think maybe he fancied her so thats why he lied about our relationship"

erm, your "mate" approached him and initiated the convo, and to be fair, he is a single bloke, so he really can say what he wants. I am sorry but in his head, it was not that serious a relationship, and he is over it. I think you need to accept that too.

I can't understand why he's the bad guy. A stranger approached him and asked a random question, he gave a random answer.

I tell strangers who come up to me in bars I'm married, I'm not, just to get them to go away.

4 months isn't a relationship I would necessary remember to tell a stranger.

I would be focusing on your friends motives if any.

But seriously life goes on why does it matter? Obviously it wasn't a potential marriage type relationship else you would still be together. Regardless of what he told a stranger.

Why aren't you pissed at your friend.

I would be furious if someone went up to an ex, pumped them for info and then told me all about how he had written me out of his life.

She sounds like a bitch tbh and I think she quite likes stirring.

What good did it do to tell you this, when you are still hurting?

and to be fair sqeaukytoy you have no idea about our relationship.

You cannot comment on whether it was serious. You are not one of us.

Well I am basing it on the information that you have given, the fact that he has ended and does not acknowledge the relationship, and also a fair amount of life experience that makes you realise that 16 weeks is not very long, and certainly not really long enough to be a serious relationship to him, because if it was, he wouldnt have ended it without having the decency to give you a reason.

To be fair OP, you are asking opinions about the relationship all over MN.

The information you have given is you were together 16 weeks, he mentioned marriage but ended the relationship with no explanation.

I get it was serious for you, but I really don't think it was for him.

When you are older (don't mean to sound patronising) you get to a point where you can generally spot certain behaviors a mile off.

He hasn't done anything wrong. He just wasn't as into you as much as you clearly were into him. It's over, pick yourself up and dust yourself down and move on.

I'd be having serious issues with my "friend" though. Fishing for info from your most recent ex and then regaling you with the gory, upsetting details is not the behaviour of someone who cares about you.

Does something happen at 4 months? There's an awful lot of threads about relationships where things go tits up around that point. Unless it's the same poster.

Oh and if someone asked me how long I had been single I wouldn't include any that had been less than 6 months.

Oh wait, the poster who's DP wouldn't let her meet his kids, and the same poster who's DP wanted to take her to NYC but booked super-expensive flights and wanted her to pay half? Something about her teenage son and a granny made of steel? Boxy, is that you?

Please tell me you are not the poster whose boyfriend would not let her tag him in photos on fb.

Please tell is not true?

manticlimactic, I maybe wouldn't either, but if I had only been broken up a week from that relationship then I wouldn't pretend it never happened.

and both you and FiercePanda aren't you both lovely people?! I actually feel like I'm dying inside and fine you can say I'm being unreasonable because I asked for opinions but to make out I'm a troll thats so low.

Keep those opinions to yourself or you could and have ended up hurting someone who is already hurting.

Nooooooo.. it cant be ... could it????

No-one has accused you of being a troll. Fierce merely asked a question.

You asked for opinion dawson you have got them. People have read what you have written and answered according to their own life experiences. You can't ask for peoples opinion and only want them to say what a nasty bastard your ex is.

He has done nothing wrong at all, some girl chatted him up, he fancied her, he told a fib. Its really got nothing to do with you what he said and I would be telling your 'friend' as much if I were you.

Yes it feels awful just now but 4 months really is no time at all. This time next year you will barely remember his name.

You shouldn't be annoyed at him because he has moved on faster than you.

Well aren't you all lovely.

My ex doesn't have children. I never tried to tag him in any photos on fb either. We went to NY for a week, because it was the cheapest time of year to go. We both paid.

But thank you squeakytoy FiercePanda manticlimactic and bradywasmyfavouriteking for calling me a troll. Didn't think I could feel much worse than I already did.

It was 16 weeks. You're not dying, you're in the midst of a long drawn out drama-fest. Like I said before, pick yourself up and move on.

Stop directing anger at him - he was perfectly within his rights to end the relationship, and as annoying as it is, he didn't have to give a reason for it - and start questioning why your friend was so interested in getting all the information from him if you didn't put her up to it yourself.

Oh for gods sake, grow up and stop basking in the drama of it all. It was a fling, not a twenty-five year marriage. It's over. Move on, get some self-respect, be happy.

I didn't call you a troll, thank you.
I asked of you were the same person I referred to. How is that even implying you are a troll?

I think maybe you need to look towards yourself and your reactions to figure out some of your issues.

You are being rude for no reason whatsoever.

erm, where did I call you a troll????

are you always prone to being a drama queen?

Four months is not long but then you've already been told that. You were more into him than he was into you. That's hard, I know. But you will meet someone else. Try to put him out of your mind and don't let friends give you information.

I can't see that anybody has called you troll, though there has maybe been some confused identification. Presumably however you are the same Dawsonjunior who talks about getting her ex back in a couple of months' time (a couple of days ago in Chat)

In that same thread you say you are 23. I don't want to belittle what you are feeling because I am sure from where you are standing it feels very real, but I promise you when you have been round the block a few more times you will blush and then-I hope- roll around laughing at your younger self!