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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think "not liking needles" is not a good reason for a pregnant woman to turn down whooping cough vaccine?

158 replies

stormforce10 · 30/11/2012 22:16

There may be other reasons I'm not aware of to turn it down but for the lady I met at baby and bumps group today to be turning it down for this reason seems foolish and selfish.

I've seen a small child with whooping cough abroad. Its very distressing and I'd do anything reasonable to protect children from it.

So AIBU to think that turning it down just because you don't like needles or injections is wrong? I'm so glad DS (18 weeks) has now had the full course of early vaccines which included whooping cough

OP posts:
bradywasmyfavouriteking · 01/12/2012 18:04

So Ghost you think people who are anti vac don't love their children?

Shenanagins · 01/12/2012 18:04

I wasn't being disparaging to those who have a needle phobia on my previous post just trying to understand.

my confusion arises from the many posters who from their posts have a needle phobia but managed to overcome it, for want of a better term, when faced with various circumstances-some even putting themselves in the equivalent of walking over hot coals.

On the basis of these posts i don't understand why anyone would risk their child's health for a nasty disease.

DontmindifIdo · 01/12/2012 18:06

I have a terrible needle phobia - I do pass out, and have been patronised at booking sessions by midwife telling me I needed to "get over it" when I'd come round after fainting having blood taken. Thanks for that, I really chose to faint and only need to be told to get it together.

I'm currently pregnant, I've not decided yet about the whooping cough vaccine (manly because I've only just got an answer to my question "if I've had whooping cough, do I need the jab anyway?" - apparently yes I do, but I wasn't going to book in for a jab I might not actually need until I had it confirmed I actually did). I'm also early enough that it's not a decision I need to make right now.

I have to weigh up not just the risk of the jab itself, the risk to the baby of not having it, but also the risk of my fainting and stress levels for the week or so before hand. I think I'll probably have it, but then I had DS during the swine flu outbreak and declined my swine flu jab , I've also turned down the flu jab this winter.

I also couldn't get through DS having his jabs without fainting, after the first time, the nurse at our GP practice has been kind enough to just take DS for the jabs and send me to stand outside the door. Probably will have to do the same for next DC too.

right now, I'm feeling rather proud of myself that I got through this booking in session and bloods without fainting, although I had to lay down for a while and focus on my breathing.

It's making me feel ill just thinking about the number of needles I'll have to deal with between now and this DC being born. I don't judge anyone else deciding that they can't cope with one that they can opt out of.

GhostShip · 01/12/2012 18:07

So Ghost you think people who are anti vac don't love their children?

No, and dont put words in my mouth either. But its interesting what we can overcome for love isn't it. Some can and will, some obviously can't. Doesn't mean they don't love them.

And Pagwatch if that was aimed at me, I don't really care.

DontmindifIdo · 01/12/2012 18:08

oh, and I've fainted days before a vaccine I had to have years ago just thinking about it, I'm not that bad anymore (manly because I've got good at pretending it's not happening until it does, rather than actually dealing with it).

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 01/12/2012 18:10

But just because some have overcome it, doesn't mean all have.

I had all my bloods done when having my second child which meant I passed out at every single one.

But I don't think that makes me better or that I love my child more. I managed to get through them.

But that doesn't mean there is someone out there that has a worse anxiety issue than me that would be able to do what I did.

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 01/12/2012 18:12

I didn't put words in your mouth you wrote Shows the love people have for their children.

Show what does not vaccinating your child mean?

Pagwatch · 01/12/2012 18:18

I think equating the ability to overcome a phobia with how much you love your childish hugely sanctemonious and vomit inducing piety.
If that's your stance then by all means, view it as aimed wherever you like.

louschmoo · 01/12/2012 18:18

Some people just dislike needles, it doesn't always mean they have a phobia. They're two completely different things as far as I can see. My husband dislikes needles. He will happily avoid going to the doctor if he has some minor illness because he doesn't want to have to have blood tests. But if we were travelling and required imms he would grit his teeth and get them and it wouldn't cause him major heartache. He clearly doesn't have a phobia. It's not clear if the OP's acquaintance has a phobia or not. But taking her word for it - that she simply doesn't like needles - yeah, that seems a bit wrongheaded. I would wonder if she is aware of how serious whooping cough can be. Whether she does have a phobia or not is a bit of a red herring really. None of us, including the OP, know that. So I can understand why the OP has taken her words at face value and is making a judgement. We all judge people by our own standards, don't we?

Brices · 01/12/2012 18:22

It's her body it's her choice no "wrong" about it

GhostShip · 01/12/2012 18:30

NO, I meant if people can overcome that for the love of children it's amazing. That doesn't mean that if you can't, you love them any less. BUT some people do, they manage to do it through love and that is something to be proud of. You can see it how you like.

And pagwatch, read the above.

Look if I did mean that I'd just come out and say it, i'm not one for mincing my words.

nannyl · 01/12/2012 18:31

Im pg

I have no fear of needles

I will not be having whooping cough vaccine or flu jab while pg.
Im undecided about wether i will even have 28 week bloods done

YABU

what people consent to happen to their bodies is their and only their buisness

Pagwatch · 01/12/2012 18:34

I think if they can overcome it, fantastic.
If they can't, that does not mean they don't love their child enough. It means they can't.

I've read the thread. What bit do you want me to read again?

GhostShip · 01/12/2012 18:35

You're right it is nannyl but I would question why, especially the 28 week bloods.

GhostShip · 01/12/2012 18:37

^I think if they can overcome it, fantastic.
If they can't, that does not mean they don't love their child enough. It means they can't.

I've read the thread. What bit do you want me to read again?^

I've never said they don't love their child enough. I've said that some women overcome it through love. They have no other reason to overcome it, but but manage to because of love. That isn't meaning that those who don't don't love their children, for gods sake. If I meant that I'd say it.

By read the above i meant read the above sentence in the post Hmm

GhostShip · 01/12/2012 18:38

In fact, I cant be arsed trying to debate with people who can't get a simple concept. Cheerio.

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 01/12/2012 18:42

Do you what ghost thats exactly the feeling I have, that you are not getting the concept at all.

GhostShip · 01/12/2012 18:43

And what concept is that?

You haven't supplied a concept.

Pagwatch · 01/12/2012 18:43

Are we doing Hmm faces now? That always marks a high in the discussion.

You can keep posting the same thing. It lovely and all that. But love has nothing to do with the outcome. Anyone with a phobia would prefer not to have it. They can only get over it if they can get over it. Love may be an incentive. It's not a cure.

I think suggesting that a phobia is not a good enough reason is sanctemonious. You seem determined that I am talking about you.

GhostShip · 01/12/2012 18:44

And if its the one where people can't overcome their phobia for their baby, well its a pretty shitty one to be honest.

You feeling really horrible for a short period of time is worth your baby not getting an illness.

GhostShip · 01/12/2012 18:46

Oh pagwatch are you the emoticon police?

What point are you trying to make? You sound like youre not making much of one. I never said love was a cure. I said it's amazing that because of love people can overcome it for that time.

Pagwatch · 01/12/2012 18:47

And there it is. So you do think that if they can't then they don't really love their baby.
Why dd you kep saying the opposite?
Was it the whole sanctemonious thing?

GhostShip · 01/12/2012 18:47

And I'm going now, because I've much better things to do than talk to fools who can't overcome their fears for their children. Some people's kids die from these illnesses that you cant get yourself fucking vaccinated from.

bradywasmyfavouriteking · 01/12/2012 18:48

And what concept is that?

That one person overcoming phobia does not mean everyone can by the sheer will of being told 'there is no need to scared, you are being daft' or 'i love my kids enough to overcome anything'.

Pagwatch · 01/12/2012 18:50

Yes.i am actually the emoticon police. I have a badge and everything.

Could you just clear up then because I am Confused and it's making me Sad.

Isn't the idea that it is a 'shitty' reason exactly the same as not loving your baby enough.