AIBU to say no to my friend?

[wigglewiggle32]

We have a dog. She was a rescue dog that we got as a puppy. She is some kind of terrier cross. She is not only beautiful but she is the lovliest dog ever, lovely temperament and great with the kids.
When we got her as a pup 2yrs ago my friend asked if we could let her have pups with her boy dog as she and her mum want another pup.
Well, my dog is tiny, we thought she would get bigger but she is very small. She weighs just under 4kg so is considered an XS dog.
Ive now said I wouldnt be happy for her to mate with my friends dog as he is a cocker spaniel, not massive but a lot bigger than my dog.
She is LIVID with me. Ive had a couple of nasty texts and a snide facebook status aimed at me.

I dont think I am being unreasonable! She could die and/or really struggle if her pups were too big and to me that is a risk Im not prepared to take.
I feel bad but I honestly thought she would get a bit bigger. So, AIBU? I cant see a solution to this, my friend doesnt want a puppy from her if we mate her with another dog.

I didn't have a clue about all the problems breeding a dog could bring but I still thought your friend was being unreasonable expecting your dog to mate with a much bigger dog. Poor little thing that wouldn't be pleasant.

Having read the thread I agree that getting her spayed is a good idea.

From the PDSA website:

Neutering (spaying) female dogs

Should I get my female dog neutered (spayed)?

Spaying stops your bitch from having unwanted puppies and reduces her chances of developing breast cancer. It also prevents her from developing a potentially life-threatening condition called pyometra (a serious infection of the uterus).

When is the best time to get my female dog neutered (spayed)?

Bitches often benefit most by having the operation when they are under one year old. Ask your vet when the right time is for your bitch.

Will neutering (spaying) cause my female dog to gain weight?

Spaying causes a bitch?s metabolism to slow down, meaning that she burns energy less quickly. By making sure you feed the right amount and exercise her enough, she won?t gain weight.

Should my female dog have a litter before she?s neutered (spayed)?

There?s no benefit to your bitch, and by delaying getting her spayed you increase her risk of getting breast cancer.

Ok, so when I say 'rescue' dog we didnt actually get her from a shelter, a load of pups were dumped on a friends farm and we took her before they took the rest to the Dogs Trust.
We took her in because my old working Springer died weeks before. She had had puppies (all had homes with people we knew before they were even born) but we didnt keep any. I was devasted when she died. I wish I had kept one of her pups so there was a part of her still around.
This is why I didnt spay our new dog straight away (plus Im anti getting this done before they have even had their first season- but thats another topic...)
We have plenty of room/space/land etc etc so even if she had had 3 puppies and we couldnt rehome them I would hve kept them. As it is we have 5 or 6 freinds who want a pup off her because of her temperament and the fact that she is a bloody fantastic ratter.

And If they all have one litter+ and those pups have one litter +?

I'm very sorry that you got to her before the Dog's Trust.

Narked- I didnt want advice on whether I should have her spayed or not. Of course the PDSA are going to be pro spaying, as are vets as its a big money thing for them.
I dont feel the need to put my dog through a major operation (and it is pretty major) when I dont need to. She is always with me and if she was 'caught' by another dog Id get her the morning after pill.
I dont like that people are assuming Im not a responsible dog owner. Look up the ACTUAL facts on spaying please, and the percentage etc of dogs who actually get breast cancer etc.

Look up the maths on how many dogs you'll be responsible for bringing into the world within 6 years of her having a litter and then look up the number of healthy, lovely dogs put down every day in the UK because they can't be found homes.

I thought all rescue dogs were spayed before being rehomed. Tell your friend to do one.

Sorry missed the bit about not being from a shelter. Get her spayed ASAP.

Is there a "morning after pill" for dogs?

I think it's really irresponsible not to spay her OP. I know you don't want to hear it,but it's true.

The reason my puppy was in the dogs home is because the mother was dumped because she was pregnant at barely a year old. My puppy is now 7 1/2 months,a very pretty little thing,everyone loves her,she has a wonderful temperament. She is getting spayed. I couldn't bear to put her through a risky pregnancy or risk one of her litter ending up being put down in a dogs home/badly treated.

I really think you need better 'friends' if this is representative of her personality!

Yes there is a MAP for dogs, there is also the option of a spay during early pregnancy to terminate the pregnancy.

Whippy came to me because she was bred by someone who knew they'd be able to sell all of their bitches pups and then got stuck with Whippy, the runt, who they threatened to drown

mum homes don't spay puppies if they're rehomed under 6 months old. Like mine. But you do have to sign to say you will take them back to have them spayed/neutered. The home I got my puppy from does it for free along with free microchipping.

This thread has reminded me to call the home tomorrow to get a definite appointment.

Op do you have any idea how many people on here work with rescues, foster dogs etc?
We are the people that deal with the fall out of people thinking it will be a laugh to have puppies.
The people who sell these puppies, without being concerned whether the owner is suitable, if their home is suitable, if their lifestyle works with a dog. All BYB care about is how much money they get for the puppies.

And then the puppies end up in rescue because people who know fuck all about dogs buy one because it looks cute. And then don't train it or socialise it or they let their toddlers pull it all over the place and then dash it in a rescue as soon as it growls.

That's why I have LittleDog, from some bright spark who thought he could go to work all day, leave the dog and he would magically not bark, chew or wee for 13 hours a day.

It's disgraceful that anyone would consider breeding their dog, just because they feel like it.
It's irresponsible.

D0in I never knew that! Every day is a school day!

"I dont feel the need to put my dog through a major operation (and it is pretty major) when I dont need to. She is always with me and if she was 'caught' by another dog Id get her the morning after pill."

That still sounds pretty risky to me. I haven't had a dog for years, but I know how independent they can be. OH lost his dog when it ran across the road to a bitch in heat - the dog got run over by a car.

I think this "friend" has no idea about dog breeding. Can't you unfriend her on FB (glad that FB is not something I do) and block her texts.

Tantrums puts it far better than I.

'your friend is an idiot. And you are no better'.

Way to spread the message dog lovers! The way you are going on is almost inspiring me to invent a time machine, go back a few months and NOT have my dog spayed, just so I could start a thread to really piss you off.

Seriously, you are probably alienating a fair few people with this wholly unnecessary aggression.

regardless of the dog - why are you bothered about a woman so unpleasant even her fiance doesn't like her?

just tell hubby this sad story and that you are not wasting any more time on someone who, when politely refused what they want for good reasons, sends you abusive messages and puts rude messages about you on the internet.

It costs between £70 and £250 to spay a bitch thats pennies compared to the lives you'll be saving. Listen to D0oin and Tantrums don't become your dogs worst enemy just because puppies would be cute and other people want them.

I'd also be interested in knowing what measures you took when you bred your last dog? Did you check out the people you were rehoming to? Make them sign contracts agreeing to return the pups to you if they could no longer care for them at any point? Do extensive vet checks on the bitch and pups themselves? Or did you just hand them over to people who would also go on to breed the dogs for a quick profit? Sadly with your attitude shown on here to the welfare of your dog I suspect you were the latter.

It's not unecessary spero

If people bothered to be responsible dog owners and not breed their dogs in their house with the express intention of making money out of "cute puppies" I would not have to foster unwanted dogs. I wouldn't have to help find homes for these dogs. I wouldn't have to see dogs being PTS for no good reason.

To be fair the OP sounds like a very loving dog owner who is trying to be responsible.

The problem is that once you breed a litter you hand those pups over to other people, with no control over what happens to them. You can't watch those dogs all the time to make sure that a 1 year old, small bitch doesn't end up pregnant by a much larger dog. You can't ensure that if the couple split or move the dog is responsibly rehomed. You can't ensure that future pups are well homed with good owners.

It is NOT unnecessary at all. What is unnecessary is the huge number of dogs being pts for no good reason because lots of irresponsible people wanted a cute puppy and went ahead and bought that cute puppy without bothering to even engage their brains first.

With a relentless supply of people like the OP prepared to not bother spaying or neutering their pets then the problem isn't going to magically go away with a nice bit of hand holding and soft words. It is an utter disgrace.