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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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AIBU to say no to my friend?

118 replies

wigglewiggle32 · 29/11/2012 14:19

We have a dog. She was a rescue dog that we got as a puppy. She is some kind of terrier cross. She is not only beautiful but she is the lovliest dog ever, lovely temperament and great with the kids.
When we got her as a pup 2yrs ago my friend asked if we could let her have pups with her boy dog as she and her mum want another pup.
Well, my dog is tiny, we thought she would get bigger but she is very small. She weighs just under 4kg so is considered an XS dog.
Ive now said I wouldnt be happy for her to mate with my friends dog as he is a cocker spaniel, not massive but a lot bigger than my dog.
She is LIVID with me. Ive had a couple of nasty texts and a snide facebook status aimed at me.

I dont think I am being unreasonable! She could die and/or really struggle if her pups were too big and to me that is a risk Im not prepared to take.
I feel bad but I honestly thought she would get a bit bigger. So, AIBU? I cant see a solution to this, my friend doesnt want a puppy from her if we mate her with another dog.

OP posts:
Spero · 29/11/2012 14:47

Yes, I had to sign a contact to say I wouldn't crate my dog and I would vaccinate and neuter her. They gave me postcards to send off when I had done each thing.

I agree that you shouldn't breed while there are dogs needing homes, but then again, dog rescues need to be a lot less up their own arses about who they rehome to. Half my puppy training class had tried their local rescue centre first but been told 'no' because they worked part time or were too old (woman in her late sixties who had her daughters willing to step up in highly unlikely event she went before her dog!)

I suspect if I had mentioned I was getting in a dog walker one day a week as dog would be alone from 9-12 then 1-4 they would have turned me away.

Latonia · 29/11/2012 14:58

YADNBU

This woman sounds awful, your poor little dog :( What would she say if someone asked her spaniel to mate with a great dane.

No is a complete sentence and I would limit contact with her as far as you're able.

Loie159 · 29/11/2012 14:58

OP did you get your dog from a rescue centre? Most centres spay and neuter all dogs and cats before they give them to new homes to prevent further breeding or the dog being used for puppy farming.... I thought it was standard policy?

But I do imagine you would know if your dog had been spayed! YANBU at all what a horrid woman she is to even consider she has the right to comment. Even if you just changed your mind its your dog ffs....... She obviously has no idea what she is talking about .

Also presuming you did do it, what the hell is she assuming she would do with the other puppies? Dogs can have more than 2 pups in a litter so then you would be left with the bills for the pregnancy and any problems (which sound like they would be significant) and then the hassle factor of fidning suitable homes for the other little pups......dogs are not toys and not accessories.

TwitchyTail · 29/11/2012 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AboutThyme · 29/11/2012 15:02

Why would you go to the trouble of rescuing a dog from, I assume, a rescue centre and then not have to dog spayed so that she has the potential to create more unwanted pups to end up in rescue? Get the dog spayed ffs, we really don't need MORE puppies being born.

AboutThyme · 29/11/2012 15:03

*the dog not 'to dog'.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 29/11/2012 15:05

Is your dog an actual rescue dog or just one you 'rescued' from someone?

If she is from an actual rescue and was too young to be spayed when you adopted her then you have a responsibility to spay her -> most rescues will provide a discount voucher to ensure that no more unwanted animals are brought into this world. TBH you have a responsibility to spay even if she isn't a rescue.

The fact that your friend wants to keep one puppy is a bit off, what happens to the others? Will they be found decent homes or just sold to the first people who show an interest?

Will you/your friend be able to provide a home for any puppies that are returned later in life? -> A decent breeder will take back any and all pups they sell I'll be doing that when we sell our dalmation pups

What about the potential complications and the general expense of having puppies? You don't just breed them and expect them to get on with it - what about emergency C sections, first and/or second vaccinations, puppy packs, puppy food, whelping box, what if the pups need hand rearing, extra food specifically for pregnant bitches , vet checks during and post pregnancy?

What about health checks for both parents? You'd be mixing a variety of breeds together with the chance that the pups could inherit all the genetic defects, not just one or two.

Why are more poorly bred puppies needed when they can be found in rescues?

LoopsInHoops · 29/11/2012 15:07

Rescue centres don't rehome dogs before neutering them. When you say yours was 'rescued'...

Get her speyed and lose the friend. Why the bloody hell you are even thinking of breeding is the bit that makes you unreasonable, as I'm sure has been pointed out in the posts between yours and mine.

Alisvolatpropiis · 29/11/2012 15:09

Rescue dogs aren't neutered if you rehome them when they're under 6 months old.

Spero · 29/11/2012 15:11

Loops - my dog was homed with me at 12 weeks. I couldn't neuter her until three months after her first season. So she came home un neutered - but I had to sign contact to say I would haveit done. So obviously, it is going to depend on ageof dog.

mollymole · 29/11/2012 15:15

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Alisvolatpropiis · 29/11/2012 15:15

Same here Spero I rehomed my puppy at 8 weeks (I was a bit surprised at that tbh). They're going to do her spaying and microchip for free. As I said earlier,I like the idea of breeding her,but only in the same way I like the idea of marrying Johnny Depp...it's never going to happen.

DublinMammy · 29/11/2012 15:18

YANBU, your friend is a twat, a little dog like that could die giving birth to a too-large puppy.

dexter73 · 29/11/2012 15:24

Same as Spero too - we got our dog from a rescue centre when she was 6 months old. It was a condition of her adoption that we had her spayed and we had to send them a copy of the invoice for the spaying when she had it done so they knew we had spayed her.

strawberrypenguin · 29/11/2012 15:24

YANBU, your friend is a loon. Anyway if your dog is a rescue is she not spayed anyway. I thought all rescue centres did this as a matter of routine before re-homing

dexter73 · 29/11/2012 15:30

It depends on their age strawberry.

wewereherefirst · 29/11/2012 15:39

She's at least 2 years old so she should have been spayed by now.

Dahlen · 29/11/2012 15:41

YANBU to say no to your friend for all the reasons you gave, and also because no one should breed dogs unless there is a bloody good reason and most people don't have one.

To breed a litter and do it properly cost quite a lot of money. Vet fees, whelping box, worming treatment, food, etc - and that's assuming that nothing goes wrong. Top breeders breed to improve the breed, to try to eliminate health problems, to maximise the likelihood of impeccable temperaments in their dogs. People who just put two dogs together because it's 'nice' to have a litter undermine all this, and often end up passing on health problems and poor temperaments into the gene pool.

Unless you know about genetics, the sire and dam's history, and possess the knowledge and inclination to socialise the resulting puppies properly, do not breed from your dog.

MerylStrop · 29/11/2012 15:53

Get the dog spayed asap and get your DH's best friend to have a word with her

quoteunquote · 29/11/2012 16:12

Get your dog spayed, as this will cut the risk of long term health problems, so the best thing for your dog,

and ignore your ignorant friend's option , because of people like her hundreds of health dogs are euthanised every single day in this country.

bubby64 · 29/11/2012 16:21

No only is it a completly unreasonable request in the first place, but, if it had have happened, there would likely have been more than one pup in the litter- who did she think would have had thos unwanted little things.
Tell her to take a running jump and get your poor dog spayed, as it is, she still runs the risk of getting mated by a bigger dog (as most dogs are bigger!) and all that that could entail!

Spero · 29/11/2012 16:36

I do wish threads about dogs would not descend quite so quickly into this aggressive and belligerent tone. The op is not particulalry going to warm to all the excellent arguments in favour of spaying when they are delivered in this way.

It's great that people feel such passion for their dogs, but as I said in my comment about the over preciousness of rescue centres, beware of the laws of unintended consequences.

TheVermiciousKnid · 29/11/2012 16:38

YANBU! Your friend is supremely unreasonable though.

As others have said, there are so many dogs there really is no need for more puppies!

Incidentally, we rehomed two adult dogs from rescues - neither were neutered. Hmm We were told the female one had been spayed - she almost died from pyometra (infection of uterus). Nasty.

bonzo77 · 29/11/2012 16:40

YANBU. Get your dog spayed ASAP before nutcase "friend"'s dog on purpose accidentally is allowed to impregnate yours. maybe get the friend spayed too, she shouldn't be allowed to breed either.

Narked · 29/11/2012 16:46

Please get your dog spayed.

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