To Not Know How to List this fecking Awful Sofa...

[FellowshipOfFestiveFellows]

..On The Ebay.

Right, dp has a friend, they used to live together, friend is lovely, but my God he has the worst taste ever. I'm talking he is into stuff from before Changing Rooms came along, stuck in 1991. Bless him.

Anyway, he knows I sell all my old tat via Facebook and EBay, not for lots of cash, but have had a few "touches" as he refers to them and got more than I bargained for. So, he needs to sell his old sofa and has asked me to sell it for him on EBay.

I don't mind doing that at all. Except he has no idea that
a) salmon pink leather sofas with wooden bits are not the height of fashion
b) most sofas go for pennies now
c) it fecking minging

This sofa is so out dated, Barbara Cartland would have said no despite the sheer pinkness of it.

He spent 5 grand on it, and thinks he will get at least £500 for it. He'll be lucky to get £50.

What shall I do? I have said I will list it, but I don't know how to tell him if it doesn't sell why it didn't. I cannot just say "mates, its bloody awful" can I?

A physiotherapist could use it in treatment of phobias (aversion?) Spider one side of room, sofa the other :)

That was supposed to say psychotherapist buty phone hates me

It looks like a prolapsed vagina.

It is illegal to sell soft furnishings which do not have a fire certificate attached to them. If you list it, ebay will just take it down again, and your 'policy compliance' will be affected. There is a reason why you see so many dumped sofas................

My god, that truly is awful!

I'm not known for my classy taste and thought, oh it can't be that bad but it is...it really is

It is not really salmon pink though, it is more dusty pink?

Oh I haven't laughed that much in a while... OMG it is so much worse than I was envisaging. It's like someone's intestine coming out to swallow you up - I'm not even sure I could bring myself to sit on it!!

You need to add a note saying " will stink of liquorice roll-ups" or w/e he's been smoking over it for 20 years. Eww.

Fuck me, that's vile. "Prolapsed vagina" is about right, and only a colourblind man could think the cushions matched.

I am never eBaying anything for anyone else ever again. Too much bloody grief.

Also, "antique style"...?

lovely its fine, it meets the guidelines, dp checked- its 8 years old. Its just his taste that is stuck in '91.

I think the flash makes it look less salmon than it is. I think dp may pop over with our camera and take better pics of it.

I have spent my whole life thinking the word was 'dusky' pink until now. What a tit

See Cheeky, it takes a blardy forriner to teach you the names of coulours, innit.

One who cant even spell colour properly.

That is unbelievably fugly.

It looks a bit sinister, I think. Like if you dumped it, it would mug someone for the bus fare back and track you down, and sit outside your garden and stare at you when you put the washing out.

thecat I am pissing myself now. Best.Description.Ever.

A sinister sofa. It is currently residing in Slough though, so perhaps if it got the chance it may just don a tracksuit and mug you?

LOL at thecatsminion

That is spectacularly bad. I would get those 90s "aztec" cushions off for a start. They do not match and they look like something from the dog's basket. :(

Was the pictures taken on the set of Bottom?

Mmm I need sofa's - I' be interested if there were two of them not

I think we should all club in, buy it and donate it to MNHQ! !

That would be too mean!

Perhaps we could send it to the other lot?

Hahaha! I was thinking it really couldn't be that bad ... Until I saw the pictures!

Scary sofa!

Oh my word that's funny.

I think you should let mumsnet draft an amended description.

Loving thecat story about it tracking you down!!

Fellowship- it's not got enough glitter sadly...

I love thecat's description!

Was the person who "matched" the cushions colour blind?

TBH I've met better looking hemmorhoids!