To want to run away and never see them again

[SilverBaubles33]

Briefly, the Alpha mums invited me for coffee and a get to know you after drop off today - there are a few of us new mums this term. The main Alpha has been really friendly, but is constantly putting herself down and comparing herself to me - I used to have a quite high-powered job, she's a bit tubby, my DDs are on a scholarship etc, and making unfavourable comments. I don't know why she needs to do it as on the face of things she's really popular, has a gorgeous house, lovely dcs, kind husband, she's thoughtful and generous etc.

Anyway, we all turned up for coffee and one of the other mums is from Holland where I used to live, so we started chatting in Dutch. I went to find the loo and Alpha was in the kitchen crying with about four friends, saying that I had ruined her coffee morning, I was an effing bitch, she wished she's never invited me etc.

They saw me in the doorway and Alpha said sorry, not having a great week, and the friends basically asked me to leave.

I asked, is it cos I spoke Dutch, sort of laughing because I thought it must be a joke or something and they said, she can't really deal with you, she feels you're always competing with her etc etc.

I am beyond embarrassed about the whole thing. I just went red and left like they asked me to. My husband said I should laugh it off but I rally don't want to see any of them again and we've got school stuff coming up in the next few weeks, I feel really sick and I've been worrying about it all day.

Should I call her? pretend it didn't happen? Speak to one of her friends? I've never come across this sort of thing before, am I BU or is she and how should I react?

Fight, fight, fight.......

I have been putting the girls to bed, listening to my husband shouting with laughter. He is very amused that someone thinks I have skinny thighs, he adores the salty liquorice conversation because he hates it. He is American and he told me that Vinegar Knickers was something disgusting. Hmmm.

He never once wanted to read this site when I was researching schools, holiday destinations or books.

Now I can't get him off. He wants to have a gin party and offer liquorice and play poo in the sink. I am going to log him off now, but again I thank you all.

Oh, we are in the south, outside London. I have texted the Dutch mum and she's coming for coffee next week. I will be seeing the Alphas at a sports match on Saturday and will be friendly but dignified and keep in my mind all your funny kind remarks.

I think maybe I should try to find some work to fill my day!!

She sounds bonkers like conkers. Who'd call themselves an Alpha when it makes you sound like an utter cock.

I'd give these women a super wide berth if I were you. Apologise by all means if you feel you must, but any further attempts to rationales with this DramaLlama is doomed.

That's brilliant, Silver! Glad you've made contact with the Dutch mum.
See - that's your take-away from this. You've made a friend and the alpha mum has made herself look like a right knob.

Silver observe the Mumsnet mantra when under extreme pressure:

Smile and wave, smile and wave

Then get your ass back here and update us!

Oh, ok. I will!

He is also wanting to offer a job to the lady who invented Nederlandergram.

I really am going now, good night!

Smile & wave.

We have 'The Cheerleaders' at our school, they are so polished, complicated in their relationships and vapid in their conversation, I can't believe they've had a decent fuck in years.

Smile & wave, makes my jaw ache and my sphincter clench.

Dammit, now every time I see an "alpha" I am going to clench my bum hole! I don't think this is a good habit to develop. Grumble grumble.

In all fairness, some are absolutely sound. They're just high-powered types who are popular and down-to-earth.

Absolutely minouminou, same as some of the weirdos, like me, are actually really quite nice when you get to know them, and some of them are just strange beings. [sage nod]

Excellent Silver am glad this thread has cheered you up.

Depends what your DH's line of business actually is, if he runs an internationally franchised chain of inappropriate greeting providers I'll have to pass.

I am up to my neck in private work of this kind - for coma victims we already have the 'cato-tonic', a bouquet of balloons complete with Proustian favourite Glade style plug-in & a selection of the recipient's 'tunes of the decade you first felt a nipple of your chosen sexual orientation' (that was not a family member), we also have the hebejebeBeeGees which is a fantastic birthday gift for any phobic member of the family, in which Robin Gibb look/sound-alike will turn up at their door dressed as the recipient's greatest fear & regale them with a falsetto greeting tailored just for them.

So pretty much have the market cornered there.

If however, he's looking for someone to deliver rubbish puns - I'm your woman.

justread that really made me laugh..

I think these birds will need the scent of new money...........

Just give them all a very wide birth

I apologise, I read the start of the thread, but when I realised OP hadn't replied in 3 pages I gave up!

But, my penneth worth is that it isn't so bad to have a chat in Dutch. If it went on all afternoon, fair enough, but a chat is okay?

My job involves languages and any chance i get to speak a language I work in is a massive nerdy treat ( at memory when I discovered one of the bar staff at my local was spanish).

For that reason alone, OP is NBU. There may be more to it though, which I haven't read.

I think the alpha mum needs some more hobbies, maybe you could buy her a teach yourself dutch book.

I hope your coffee with the dutch mum is fun :)

I would definitely stick with the Dutch mum- the others sound like total loons. Off now to browse the Rosetta Stone catalogue, I've got 4years til DS starts school to learn some Dutch.....

Don't apologise, she should apologise to you for making you feel so uncomfortable in her house !

and fgs ! it's a small world these days, we live in Holland and while our school isn't an international one, there are something like 40 nationalities there, everyone speaks fab English, but more often than not will talk to their friends in their own language ( then translate !) no biggie

talking of biggies ..... can't get an image out of my head of you and your husband shitting in her sink .... succes ( as they say in Nederlands !)

Just read Silver's clarification of what happened.

That group of 'alpha mums' sound like a crowd of over grown schoolgirls who need to cop themselves on and maybe broaden their horizons a bit. Getting involved in your kids' schools in good; but seeing it as an extension of your own schooldays and diving straight back into the 'gang mentality', 'cool kids and not so cool kids' kind of stuff is absolutely pathetic.
I would steer well clear of them Silver.

She sounds like a slightly deranged drama queen. It's a coffee morning, not a wedding. How do you "ruin" it, especially by speaking in a foreign language for a while? If she didn't like it, she could have tried to involve you in their conversation, in English.

La Queen

Now you mention about that incident at your dd's school it reminds me of one involving ds2.

One Christmas about 5 years ago when he was 10 ds2 and a friend sent a Christmas card to a particularly vile lunchtime supervisor with ' Merry Christmas but you're fired' written in it. She became hysterical ' myself and the other Mother were summoned into school to explain our Sons actions as she was convinced there was a Witch hunt against her .

Barking!