To want to run away and never see them again

[SilverBaubles33]

Briefly, the Alpha mums invited me for coffee and a get to know you after drop off today - there are a few of us new mums this term. The main Alpha has been really friendly, but is constantly putting herself down and comparing herself to me - I used to have a quite high-powered job, she's a bit tubby, my DDs are on a scholarship etc, and making unfavourable comments. I don't know why she needs to do it as on the face of things she's really popular, has a gorgeous house, lovely dcs, kind husband, she's thoughtful and generous etc.

Anyway, we all turned up for coffee and one of the other mums is from Holland where I used to live, so we started chatting in Dutch. I went to find the loo and Alpha was in the kitchen crying with about four friends, saying that I had ruined her coffee morning, I was an effing bitch, she wished she's never invited me etc.

They saw me in the doorway and Alpha said sorry, not having a great week, and the friends basically asked me to leave.

I asked, is it cos I spoke Dutch, sort of laughing because I thought it must be a joke or something and they said, she can't really deal with you, she feels you're always competing with her etc etc.

I am beyond embarrassed about the whole thing. I just went red and left like they asked me to. My husband said I should laugh it off but I rally don't want to see any of them again and we've got school stuff coming up in the next few weeks, I feel really sick and I've been worrying about it all day.

Should I call her? pretend it didn't happen? Speak to one of her friends? I've never come across this sort of thing before, am I BU or is she and how should I react?

LaQueen Now tell us what you really think.

It felt like you were holding back

I like coffee mornings where I have to undone the top button of my jeans because I've eaten too much cake and laughed a bit too hard

Exactly what I think too!

Also agree that many people get what they want by being very oversensitive. And dramatic. My favourite new word is Dramallama. I have used it several times already, and it's not yet lunchtime.

Your stories have made me laugh today, what lovely people you are, thanks.

Now old are these people?
12?
Ffs.
I have zero tolerance for this sort of shit and this is also the reason I would never go to a "mums coffee morning".
Just the thought if it makes by buttocks clench. And that's not easy for me. There's a lot of buttock to clench, people!

I don't know, LQ.
My sil is like this.
I love her but a lot of the time I spend with her is spent biting my lip and contemplating hitting her over the head with something blunt.

Buntypenfold

'I would try to speak to whichever of her friends seems the least crazy'

That made me laugh out loud!!

I am sure I would LQ :)
But then you would never get rid of me and I would haunt your social gatherings from thence forward....
Sigh.
It would end badly.
Restraining orders, me weeping at your kerbside...no.
Best not :)

Ooo ohh I can do basic German!
Vie gehts LQ?
Mein name ist badvocsanta.
Ich bin 40 jahre alt.
Ich wohne in England.
I knew GCSE German would come in useful one day!
I would cry if you served cake with vegetables in (yes, carrot cake and courgette cake I am looking at you) it's just WRONG.

What did you say in Dutch that you couldn't have said in English?

Someone once taught me the Dutch for FO and die so you could teach this to Alpha Mums and tell them it's the Dutch for "You're a cool dude" and see what happens. There are many Alpha mums in my DCs school too. It's all about self-esteem so if showing off about buying nail varnish in Selfridges makes them happy then good luck to them.

Silver, if you apologise for her terrible behaviour, that will give her the green light to 'up the ante' next time. What you need to do is grow some balls bollocks and tell her that you cannot believe she would invite you around and behave like this. She is a bitch, a manipulative bitch. If that had been me, I would have given her something to cry about after saying my piece to her

We've got a trainee alpha wannabee (that's how crap she is at being alpha) at DS' school.

Her DS was in my DS' class last year. DS had his birthday a few weeks after the start of the term. She asked me, after his birthday party had been and gone, when his birthday actually was. I didn't know her, or her DS, so didn't invite them - no reason, other than the fact that I just didn't know them!

She looked distressed when I told her the date (as it was a couple of weeks in the past), but I thought no more of it.

A week or so later, she collared DP and asked him when DS' birthday was, and again, seemed shaken when our answers corroborated!

It seems her DS didn't get enough invites to things, so she threw a few shitfits, dissolved into tears, and her new schoolgate friends rallied round and made sure he had a few more playdates, and that she got invited to more gatherings.

Fast forward a few weeks, and apparently when another mum suggested inviting a few other mums along to something, crap alpha mum protested, as she wanted to keep the gatherings "exclusive".

Ha!

I had one real conversation with her, during which she prompted me to identify and bitch about the parents I thought were pushy (I declined), then tried to get me to bitch about a mutual friend and her son.

I declined, and haven't spoken to her since. I don't so much smile and wave as look blank and turn away.

Hey music sorry not to answer you earlier, I was at a coffee morning laughing till my jeans burst eating non-veg cake and meeting some mums who don't need flowers and hugs just for getting dressed every morning... I wish!

I said earlier about the Dutch thing, it's gone now!

fireman it's a great language for swearing, the sounds are very throaty and angry-sounding. There's a great word which I am not sure how to spell 'glotzak' which has lovely harsh sounds and means the bag of skin that carries an animals trsticles. It's a great insult, usually for a man, but since yesterday also for a Dramallama!