Moaning mn career mums.Yes you...

[Jenna2012]

Been reading various threads on mn with interest for several weeks now.why do u ladies feel do pessimistic about ur work life balance and compete with the ' oh poor me title'. If you want a better quality of life, surely u can downsize and have less financial Responsibilty and then look after ur dc yourself instead of paying others to look after them. I just don't get why you have kids unless you wanna love And look them yourself. This doesnt apply to single parents.is the financial gain worth it?

I aleays feel sorry for those teddies strapped to tge front of bin lorries.

Whats that about?

My post was deleted? But that was a good one for me...

ok. why wont you marry your DP jenna. if you are both so traditional and not of the feminist variety?

I am a student parent! I am out of the house full time, not even for financial gain, in fact I am accruing debt!

And guess what? I couldn't give a flying fuck what the op thinks. And hopefully I will be able to teach dd how to spell and write proper sentences...

(Disclaimer: I have nothing against people who struggle with spelling. But when someone who chooses to use text speak slags of working mothers on the grounds that she is at home "educating" her dcs, well, it is a bit rich really).

And now the slagging off of SAHMs...

Don't feed the troll poor, misguided youth.

pmisspiggy-am falling over the evil working mothers - have the missfortune to work for a company that values our contribution and has promoted (whispers) 700 woman, of whom, at least half are evil working mothers - will no one think of the children! ( really am going now)

My mum worked full time for most of my childhood, her mother worked full time for part of her childhood as did her mother. IN fact I come from a long line of working class women who have never been afforded the luxury of not working. We all seem to be relatively normal (twitch) and had very happy secure childhoods.

I have a number of friends who work FT and PT from home or not at all. Happy for them all to do what suits but (I hate to break this to you) but you can't tell from their DC which is which ie there aren;t sad lonely looking ones who can't remember which parent is theirs to easily identify the working FT parents.

If I am a lone parent who doesn't work... does that make me admirable or feckless?

val- but they get to see more don't they and go on adventures.

Jenna sweetheart, have you ever had a career? Or any kind or mental stimulation at all? Degree even?

All mums are bastards

Worra ,

The DH has just come running up the stairs to see if I was OK because he thought he'd heard me yelp .

It's all your fault !

My many many children have learned that no woman has to be dependent on a man for financial security . And THAT has to be a lesson to 'facilitate '

I'm definitely a bastard

We have been married for 8 very happy years.

Hi Jenna, this is why I work:

Because the alternative is not working, and then your dh the taxpayer will be coughing up for me and mine.
Because I was stupid enough to marry a lady artist and not George Clooney, when he offered.
Because when I'm at home all the time with children I start going slightly strange and obsessing about my kitchen worktops.
Because I am not the best educator/facilitator for my children.
Because I like going to work and giving my brain a good canter.
Because I have two hours commuting time each day when I can read the newspaper or a book (bliss).
Because my kids are smart-arsed little nippers who are much kinder to me when they've been missing me a bit.
Because women pay a lifetime price for taking time out to raise children. Having had two lots of time off work, plus five years working PT, I feel I have paid all the price I and my pension can bear.

But mainly because of the dosh, quite frankly. Well done you for being able to do without it.

I know you said I can't play on this thread, being a single mum an' all.
Just thought I would point out that I would actually like to be earning a wage and showing my DD that I can provide for her by earning a living using my brain.
Unfortunately, because her father is a knobend decided he wants to play silly buggers over his CSA payments I cannot afford to put her into nursery for just 2 days to enable me to work at all or have my own space.
I am SAHM and love my DD more than anything else in the world. Does not mean I think it is healthy for her to be with me and me alone 24/7.

OK - Serious answer.

It is a myth that only modern women work for financial gain. Until the WW1 significant numbers of women were part of the workforce, not 50%, but much higher than today (sorry, i have a cat on my keyboard and can't google figures right now).

Then the Edwardian ideal of mummy fed down from the upper to middle classes.

During ww2 huge numbers of women were forced/encouraged/coerced into the workforce. At the end of the war they were then told to return to the home so that returning soldiers could be given jobs.

More money was spent on govt propaganda to get women into the kitchens than had been spent on ANY govt campaign before. NONE of the famous ww2 campaigns had as much money spent on them as the amounts spent on persuading women that they should no longer work.

If you believe that you'e the best for your child, even for their entire education then you are a) arrogant and b) deluded. I can guarantee that there are people with more childcare experience, better academic knowledge, and greater interpersonal skills than just about any mother on this planet.

Right up until the 1950s the 'common sense' view was that it was best to have experts to help with child-raising and education, and that the mother who tried to do it all herself was nothing but a bungling amateur.

So, well done for swallowing post-war govt propaganda wholesale. Personally, I shall use my brain to make an informed and educated decision.

I have no beef with anyone who wants to be a sahm - whatever is best for you & yours. but don't try telling me what i should think

I am well educated, It's just that my views are not the norm, but I believe in them wholeheartedly. Also I did give up my career to be a SAHM

Kissass. I never said what you should or shouldn't think. I wanted ppl to explain their reasons out of mere curiosity...

And in those eight years, what have you achieved beyond having children? Something just for you?

Oh, and I agree with kew [depressingly predictable]. My (single parent) mum worked; her mum (enough children to form her own football team) worked; it is absolutely normal for women to work and they shouldn't be pathologised for doing so. Or for wanting to do so.

You know what? I'd much rather stay at home and facilitate my child's learning rather than go to work and facilitate other people's children's learning. Whilst being called a slacker by Govey.

But I am the main wage earner so DH will be SAHD while I bring home the salary. DH would work too - but his income wouldn't cover childcare costs. So DS doesn't get to enjoy the lovely diverse nature of interacting with other kids at nursery/ childminder and has to put up with dad all day.

That ok with you?

You're not that young then are you?

You've made your choice. When you are looking to get on the career ladder don't come on here complaining that you're unemployable because you've been off the market for so long.

Oh and you really should ask my mum what a good idea giving up work for your DC's is and relying on your lovely DH who will never walk out and leave you with a much reduced pension and job prospects and taking home about half what he does despite being much smarter. If he's really clever then he'll do it when the children have left and you are back in work in a much less well paid job than you were before you had children so the courts will not award you any support - you will just have to manage on less money than him.

My mum would indeed have a few words to say to you.