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AIBU?

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Original poster

Too much time in playpen for toddler?

721 replies

lexiss · 25/11/2012 11:25

This morning DS 17 months woke up at 6am. I got up bf him and put him in the playpen. It is one of those extra large, hexagonal playpens.

Around 6.15 I gave him some water and changed his nappy. Then I went back to bed after making sure the playpen had only safe toys and the baby monitor was plugged in.

I fell asleep and woke up at 8.30. I went out to see DS and he was happily playing with this toys. He is very into small manipulative puzzles, shape boxes, stacking cups etc at the moment and he was busy playing with these.

He had been in the playpen for nearly 2.5 hours! Is this too long? Is there a problem that he plays happliy for this length of time by himself?

Most days I have a nap during the day for an hour or so and DS spends this time in the playpen but I have never left him for 2.5 hours before.

What do you think about this?

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 27/11/2012 17:56

Moomin, yes my DD chatters to herself for about 3 minutes before going to sleep. I don't find it unbelievable that a baby chats to itself but 2.5hrs that's a lot of chatting and a lot of time for a baby to be left on their own awake. I think it is a bit sad and used to feel that my casual acquaintance's baby was lonely.

Goldenbear · 27/11/2012 17:59

Actually, I'm glad to say I haven't used CC and I will make comments about it.

MrsDeVere · 27/11/2012 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goldenbear · 27/11/2012 18:02

Bit, yes like others I am still here.

piglettsmummy · 27/11/2012 18:04

goldenbear you can talk about it all you want but if you don't have first hand experience about it you can't say that it teaches a child that it's cries will go inheard! Maybe you should think about putting IMO before you OPINIONS

BitOutOfPractice · 27/11/2012 18:13

Pigletsmummy, those aren't opinions, they are THE LAW Hmm

Golden, it seems like only you are taking it quite so personally.

Goldenbear · 27/11/2012 18:15

I don't have first hand experience of CC - no, obviously not as that would be a but hypocritical wouldn't it.

I don't have first hand experience of a lot of things but I still pass comment on them and guess what? I don't always pretext my comments with IMO either because I think it's fucking obvious seeing as it is being said by myself.

piglettsmummy · 27/11/2012 18:19

I'm not he first one to mention the 'IMO' your opinions come across very strong and aggressive and 'know it all' otherwise!Hmm

Goldenbear · 27/11/2012 18:23

Yes, yes...boring- I think that has been said already. NEXT?

Moominsarescary · 27/11/2012 18:24

My ds isn't lonely, if he was lonely he would shout and and someone would go into him.

piglettsmummy · 27/11/2012 18:26

If your so bored stop producing such comments then!Grin

Goldenbear · 27/11/2012 18:56

Yes, fair point.

hazeyjane · 27/11/2012 19:37

I know lots of children whose parent's have done controlled crying - honestly, they are just as whingy, screamy and demanding as any other child!

bishboschone · 27/11/2012 19:43

Jeez , I consider myself fairly laid back but leaving a 17 month old in a playpen while you sleep upstairs is a big no no for me . I have a 17 month old and I don't leave him unattended at any time while he Is awake .

Sirzy · 27/11/2012 19:59

Bish - you never leave your child alone? Do you take him with you for a wee? Have him with you every second your cooking and cleaning?

bishboschone · 27/11/2012 20:20

I have an open plan house and he is always within eyesight. He crawls around and comes to see me if I'm cooking. I don't physically take him to the loo with me but there is a world of difference between popping to the loo and sleeping in another room for 2 hours!!! I don't sleep well but I would never sleep in the day like that .

InNeedOfBrandy · 27/11/2012 20:24

See bish it could be argued that not putting your ds in a playpen/another room/under another adult supervision that your putting him in harms way. Boiling water/hot pans are no joke imagine if a cup of tea can scold to 3rd degree burns what a pan of boiling pasta could do if he came apon you at the wrong moment.

Also do you sleep with him, go to bed at the same time, bath everyday together, or do you actually put him down sometimes?

bishboschone · 27/11/2012 20:33

No he sleeps in his room for 2 hours at lunchtime and 12 hours at night . This isn't about me anyway. I just think sleeping in the day and leaving a baby on its own is wrong . No one has to agree with me

MrsRhettButler · 28/11/2012 01:10

IS this thread really still going! Well fuck me! I feel a little bit sorry for the op now Grin I bet she thought she'd get a couple of boring answers and the thread would disappear.

The more I think about it the more I think its just the same as leaving them in a cot at night really.

Coola asked me a question about 1000 pages back, no, my dd's shoulders are not above the level of the cot sides but thanks for that comment because I will watch out for her getting taller and will move her to a bed when she does, I didn't know that before so thanks.

nailak · 28/11/2012 01:47

i dont get it, if you put a baby to sleep in a cot in a sperate room at 8 and they wake up at 6 and chatter, play etc, then you wake up to find them already awake, and if the baby wakes up at 6 you feed them then put them back what is different?

I dunno my babies all co slept, I would doze while they were playing around in the morning, after i breast fed them, i would say i was aware, any strange noises etc or i i felt them moving in a strange way on the bed i always woke up to check.

MrsRhettButler · 28/11/2012 02:05

There you go, nailak and I have solved the thread the rest of you may all disperse now, nothing to see here. Grin

Original poster
lexiss · 28/11/2012 07:42

Hi everyone,
Its the Op and I just wanted to say something again to defend myself from another accusation that is completely untrue.

I have never left my ds to cry

I have never done cc, I usually dont mention his night waking as people always suggest cc but I dont want to personally at this stage. He has improved a lot over the last few months but he still wakes most nights. Ironically it is his bad sleeping that is responsible for waking me at night, and then I have trouble getting back to sleep, which makes me want to nap in the day.

I have started napping next to his playpen. I hope his sleep continues to improve as I know he wont want to be in the playpen as he gets older.

I have always been responsive to his needs which is why I used to put the monitro on when he was in the playpen and I would wake up and go to him if he shouted out for me.

When I say he plays happily by himself, he does. I didnt realise this was not the norm for toddlers of his age, but I dont think he has any developmental problems. He is really engaged with his play and enjoys putting things into things, pressing buttons, stacking things etc. That is what he enjoys and he is a very happy boy generally.

I take him out everyday as well and play/read with him also, so it is not like he plays alone all the time.

Thanks for your suggestions and help, I will make sure I am around him all the time when he plays from now on.

OP posts:
ClaireMarathonFeeder · 28/11/2012 08:35

Lexiss just wanted to say that you come across as a very nice person and have been incredibly gracious about the accusations of neglect that have been thrown at you! Your son is a very lucky boy!

(But I'm Envy at his playing by himself, can he teach my twins how to do it Grin?)

valiumredhead · 28/11/2012 08:51

I agree claire

RandallPinkFloyd · 28/11/2012 08:57

Please don't feel the need to justify yourself.

It's more than clear from your posts that you are far from neglectful.

You're also clearly very patient!

IMO the two most important measures of how good a parent someone is a) questioning yourself/your decisions, and b) asking for and genuinely listening to all different kinds of advice.

You did both those things and then did what was best for you and your son. And you did that because you are a good parent.

Dear god if every slightly iffy sleep deprived thing we do as parents makes us neglectful we're all fucked!

I hope his sleeping improves for you soon, they use tiredness as a torture t