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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Prefer to be beautiful to having brains?

264 replies

charlmarascoxo · 24/11/2012 19:31

I was asked - would you rather be beautiful and have below average intelligence or would be rather be clever and be dull looking/plain jane.

I went with beauty.

It seems to me that in society having beauty is quite highly valued and life is perhaps easier because you are more accepted. Most people however chose brains over beauty. So perhaps I am in the minority?

OP posts:
TessCowDirect · 24/11/2012 19:48

Well, I've got every job I've ever gone for so I must be gorgeous Grin

SecretNutellaFix · 24/11/2012 19:49

No contest. I'd pick the brains over looks any day.

forehead · 24/11/2012 19:51

Beauty and brains are not mutually exclusive. I know many woman , who have both.
My best friend is absolutely stunning and seriously clever.

BarbarianMum · 24/11/2012 19:52

But only in conjunction with the right sort of qualifications, which for many jobs implies a certain amount of brains. Beauty alone won't make you a doctor, or nurse, or solicitor, or teacher, or engineer, or accountant etc

PimpMyHippo · 24/11/2012 19:53

Don't ask me to link to my source because I can't remember it (this is how all convincing arguments start Wink ) but I know I've read somewhere that being good looking is proven to open more doors in most areas of life, including careers and everything - makes people subconsciously more likely to like you in interviews etc. I'm not saying society should value looks above brains, but that maybe it does anyway.

I don't think there'd be anything wrong with being gorgeous and blissfully ignorant - some of the happiest people I know are as thick as the proverbial planks! Grin

ohmeohmy · 24/11/2012 19:54

Definitely brains, go for beauty and you will forever be reliant on the opinions of others for your self worth. With brains you might change the world.

InNeedOfBrandy · 24/11/2012 19:55

No but if there was 2 solicitors going for the same job with one "ugly" person and one "beautiful" person the beautiful person is more likely to get it as the interviewer would superficially warm to her more.

I am not saying thats right but it is unfortunatly how society is.

amillionyears · 24/11/2012 19:55

If I was beautiful , I would be scared that my other half only wanted me for my beauty. Also I would feel a certain pressure to keep up my appearance.

InNeedOfBrandy · 24/11/2012 19:55

I think I read the same thing as you hippo but again can't remember where.

hmc · 24/11/2012 19:55

Christ - I would go with the brains every time. Agree with Stella that most people can scrub up well with effort and with a good personality can present themselves as 'attractive' if not regulation beautiful.

In my view Kelly Brookes personifies beautiful but dim. Not good.

Lavenderhoney · 24/11/2012 19:56

Even beauty requires some wits to get by with the short time frame of opportunity.

I assume a man asked would go for brains, as proven by the amount of short, balding, sweaty unattractive and rude men with bottomless pockets squiring 6 foot beauties about. Being vv handsome but witless and jobless with no desire to provide for your family with your partner is never going to fly is it?

Beauty is largely time and money though, isn't it? There is beauty in everyone.

PopMusicShoobyDoobyDoA · 24/11/2012 19:57

I used to be clever and beautiful, but choosing a teaching career and having a child in my forties has left me rather dull headed and worn looking.

frogspoon · 24/11/2012 19:57

The most important thing for me would be to be happy.

I would say I have brains but not beauty, and am not especially happy.

Perhaps if I had beauty instead of brains I would be happier as I wouldn't keep over analysing things and making myself miserable. Most beautiful (but stupid) people seem to be much happier than intelligent (but plain) people.

BarbarianMum · 24/11/2012 19:57

I agree InNeedOfBrandy but then you are comparing beauty+brains vs brains alone, not beauty vs brains as in the OP

(off to find some hairs to split)

Startail · 24/11/2012 19:57

Beauty and brains, I've know a couple of women with both. Brilliant to watch them put sexist men in their place.

But they are seriously, first class degree from serious universities, clever.
I think beauty can get in the way in some academic circles if you aren't amongst the best.

scarlettsmummy2 · 24/11/2012 19:57

Beautiful people only get so far- if you are thick you have few long term options.

charlmarascoxo · 24/11/2012 19:59

forehead I'm not saying that they are. I'm saying IF you had to chose one.

I suppose both can fade. Especially beauty, however brains can fade too for example having alzheimer's.

(also again I'm not saying I am beautiful and neither is my name Samantha Brick)

OP posts:
InNeedOfBrandy · 24/11/2012 20:00

Yes that's true BMum I was forgetting a completely thick person couldn't be a solicitor Grin

charlmarascoxo · 24/11/2012 20:02

I know I wrote the OP. But do people consider brains and common sense to be the same thing?

I have a friend who I would deem to be clever. But she did think Brazil was in France so ...

OP posts:
HoneyDragon · 24/11/2012 20:02

Beauty changes. In the sense you mean anyway.

Very clever people tell societies what Beauty is. It is the really clever people who are standing behind that door.

True beauty comes from within. Many people that are thought of as beautiful don't fit in with current ideals. It is interesting that an awaful lot of people who were fortunate enough to meet Mother Teresa described her as beautiful.

Equally cleverness is not an all encompassing thing. There are some people who could look at a jar of jelly beans and calculate exactly how many are within. But they couldn't open it.

I'd ditch both and pick confidence with a good dollop of self faith. That does get you places Smile

Sargesaweyes · 24/11/2012 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OddBoots · 24/11/2012 20:05

I'm quite glad to be middling on both.

Dawndonna · 24/11/2012 20:05

Many years ago in the uni bar, the uni beauty looked me up and down, flirted with dh a bit and then asked a member of the bar staff loudly, what 'he was doing with her'. Quick as a flash he turned round and said: unlike you, when her looks have gone, she'll still be funny and clever.
20 years later, I still luffs him.

NigellaTufnel · 24/11/2012 20:08

I would pick brains, although it must be nice to be beautiful.

However people who are beautiful can still hate how they look. I am plain but still more attractive than some of my friends and a lot less attractive than lots more. But I don't think about my looks all the time.

wildstrawberryplace · 24/11/2012 20:09

Meh. Plenty of people are beautiful, but pretty soon it ceases to matter because if you find they are dull or stupid they are no longer really attractive. Personality goes a long way. Intelligence goes even further.