to wonder what the fuck i am supposed to do

[orangeflute]

Oh just rang me from work to say he has to work next weekend, which would be fine IF we weren't moving house. I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do.AIBU?

[OrbisNonSufficit]

There is NO WAY I would let my DH do that. You cannot possibly consider moving with no help & 5 kids to manage!! I can barely face moving house even with help... If you absolutely can't change the move date or stretch to paying for movers then shamelessly begging for help from anyone you can think of is your only option IMO. And forcing your OH to pull his weight - doing all of the packing and unpacking springs to mind...

[Journey]

Companies tend to give you a day off work for house moving. Alternatively, he could ask for unpaid leave. I think he can't be bothered with the hassle of moving and would rather work.

Why do some people come out with the phrase that they're a single parent and have had to move without a partner. The op has five dcs including a baby and a toddler. If she was a single parent with two dcs it would be a lot easier to do on her own than having to manage five dcs. Plus as always it depends what additional family support people have as well. Op says she doesn't have any. A single parent moving with one or two dcs would be far more doable than a mum of five dcs and a DH at work!

You can't manage it on your own op. You need your DH to help you.

[LadyMaryChristmas]

I don't think the OP will be able to manage this at all as she's got diarrhoea and vomiting.

[BluelightsAndSirens]

When is your DH's next day off? Have you packed most of your stuff up yet?

[marcopront]

Surely most of the hassle with moving is the packing before hand and unpacking afterwards. He will be available for that.
The man with van will be there to move the stuff. What would DH actually be doing on the moving day?

[marcopront]

Sorry I should have said I have moved country twice as a single parent with a 2 then 3 year old. It is doable.

[HollaAtMeBaby]

Think you're making a bit of a fuss over this TBH. D&V is horrid but usually gone in 48 hours so you'll be fine by the weekend. Your oldest 2 are easily big enough to mind the toddler and you can wear the baby in a sling. The 7yo can help with other stuff. You have every evening (or whatever time of day DH doesn't work) this week to pack boxes. Maybe stump up a bit extra for the man with man to bring a mate so you don't have to do any heavy lifting? Just make sure you have all your essentials e.g. coffee, tea, nappies, toothbrushes in one box and you know where that is!

[orangeflute]

Really could not trust my 10 year old to watch my toddler as due to his ASD he is unable to tolerate her. And baby does not do the sling she's screams blue murder even tho I've tried a few of them. Dexh has been on phone and said he can get me two men and a van recommended and will also come and help too.

[oddslippers]

My dh had also been a dept mgr of a large well known supermarket beginning with m, they were twats to work for tbh and it really doesn't surprise me that they are trying to pressure your dh to change his days at short notice. I also used to work for personnel of same place and I know that if he turned round and said no there is nothing they can do to make him work other than issue a verbal warning which means nothing as long as nothing else on his file it will disappear after 3 months. So I would be telling him to tell his boss in a very polite way he can't change his days and if that meets with resistance go straight to personnel mgr.

[orangeflute]

Oddslipper :)

[BIWI]

I'm gobsmacked that so many here seem to think it's acceptable for the OP to have to do this on her own.

[orangeflute]

BIWI since joining mumsnet I have found it too always be that way.

[HollaAtMeBaby]

I don't think it's acceptable to have to do it on your own - I would be annoyed too - but given that you are, it's about finding a solution. Can't the 12yo have the toddler and the 10yo and 7yo help with unpacking?

[LadyMaryChristmas]

Nope, it's not OK, orange. I'm a single mum, so had no choice. If I had a partner I'd expect them to share the work.

[missismac]

I'm afraid I agree with HollaAtMeBaby, here are some very good plans of action here but you seem determined to be negative and find reasons why you can't do any of them. I'm not getting any sense of 'can do' spirit from you OP.

Yes it's crap, yes your OH should man up & tell his employers he's taking that day off, yes it's a bummer that you're doing it with 5 kids & no family to help, but the situation is what it is. If you can't change it it's up to you to make it work. It's not that an impossible situation, so why not take on the advice of some of the more positive posters and make a plan and just get on & do it?

[Journey]

I agree with you BIWI.

[SlightlySuperiorPeasant]

Agree with everyone who said he needs to provide a solution other than "she'll manage".

[CoffeeGoneColdAgain]

OP Are you in Doncaster?

[Journey]

Looking after 5dcs (which includes a baby and a toddler) is a full time job in itself never mind having to move house. Are people trying to be funny when they're telling the op just to get on with it?

I hope it all goes well for you op.

[SunflowersSmile]

So your ex is helping you??
Is current partner ashamed/ worried by this...

[Chubfuddler]

When exactly did I tell the op to leave her husband? I don't believe I did.

[DontmindifIdo]

I don't see it's your problem to fix you know, you can tell your DP that you can't and then see what his solutions are.

That your ex is doing more to make your current family life possible than your current partner should be rather telling. I'm not going to say LTB, but I am going to say you need to stop letting him just say "oh well, I can't do it, so it's Orange's problem to sort." If he was a single man, had to move house on a set date due to solicitors etc, then he would have to find a way to make this work. Just dumping it on you isn't an option unless you let it be.

[tisnottheseasonyet]

I see my posts have been deleted for daring the question the "all men are cunts" line. Well done mumsnet hq. OP, I'll leave you with these harpies who want you to be as single and miserable as the are.

[tisnottheseasonyet]

And chubfuddler, you were stirring shit by coming to some psychic conclusion that the OP's DH was doing this on purpose. The men in your life may do anything they can to avoid you, but believe or not there are some bosses in this world, particularly in retail, who are incredibly awkward and dictatorial.

Of course, if you can show me your proof of her DH's intentions, I'll send a full apology.

[apostropheuse]

I'm glad your EX is organising a van with two men, and also coming along t help you too OP.

Your DH should be ashamed of himself. Hopefully you will give him the kick up the arse he needs.

I also can't believe some of the bullshit here about how the OP can do it on her own, with her particular circumstances. It's so bloody unrealistic and to be honest a piece of nonsense. Most people who don't have a partner do at least have some other family members or friends willing to help.

Some people just like to be martyrs. It reminds me of an old Monty Python sketch....

cmoore.com/funstuff/humor/mp.script.weweresopoor.php