to wonder what the fuck i am supposed to do

[orangeflute]

Oh just rang me from work to say he has to work next weekend, which would be fine IF we weren't moving house. I have absolutely no idea what I am going to do.AIBU?

Cancel it again. It sounds like he's using work as an excuse to leave all of this to you. What an arsehole!

Leave the bastard!

why is it solely down to you?

if he has to work you have to move on a different day.

get packed, hire a van. He must have some mates/colleagues he can call on for help.

Is he some kind of neurosurgeon or cabinet minister or such like?

What was the original plan for moving?
Surely he must realise that it is impossible for you to move furniture and appliances by yourself.
Also agree about being careful with man and van. Not all will lift appliances. Not all will put stuff into property, or take it out, instead want it on pavement and will leave on pavement. Some wont take/bring down stuff upstairs. Some will pack the van wrong and so your stuff gets damaged. Some man and van are great, so if going down this route make sure you get recommendations.

if he works for a large supermarket there are procedures in place for taking leave. If his boss is blocking his leave when its been agreed he needs to contact HR and sort it.

There is no way in hell you are going to manage it with 5 kids (inc baby and toddler) and no help from anyone.Either the moved needs postponing or dh tells work he is taking an unpaid day off. No point pretending it will be alright- it won't be!

good God in heaven the man's a numpty.

He's obviously avoiding the hard work of moving.

If he's treating you and your children like this at such a stressful time, and over something so important, I don't want to think how he's behaving at the rest of the time.

He seriously needs to grow up and act in a responsible manner.

Sorry to be blunt but he sounds like a complete arsehole.

OP he can't just drop you in it because of his work! How adept does he think your 5 mo is at packing? How would he feel if he had to deal with the move and the kids on his own?

I agree with PPs - he needs to provide a solution rather than just leaving you to get on with it.

Where do you live? I can recommend a great (and not too pricey!) removals firm we used in south London.

Well I don't think much of his management skills if he thinks this is the way to handle a house move!

You need to get in a removals firm. I know you said you can't afford it but that's what you need to do or it's never going to happen.

They live in South Yorkshire, he's a supermarket manager - keep up everyone.

Tell him to arrange cover.

I thought you were 'entitled' to a day's leave to move house. Or is that just for teachers?

You can do this.

Many single parents have to sort this kind of thing all by themselves.You at least have your OH for part of every day .

He will seriously have to shift his arse to compensate for not being there on the actual day though.

When he is at home he should be packing and sorting stuff to make it a simpler exercise for you to deal with. He should use work time to organise a moving firm and possibly send out a call for volunteers from his colleagues to help. He should make use of every available minute to do what he can to minimise the stress on you and the children.

I can understand him not being able to have much time off at this time of the year though. Im sure he feels as much under pressure as you do about the situation. Doesnt let him off doing physical tasks like packing /taking care of the children while you pack though.

He's doing it in purpose op. is he often like this?

You could wait for him to get home. He's not going to be at work all day, is he? Even if you're moving boxes at 10pm, it's better than you doing this yourself.

have (d)h move everything into a storage room now. everything except a suitcase each + the bare neccesities.

on moving day just boom a taxi to the new place (or ask family/friends) to drive you and your stuff.

then let (d)h take it all out of storage again.

another one here who thinks he might be doing this deliberately.

On moving day, just take yourself and the kids and your personal belongings. Don't really see how you can do much more than that with 5 kids anyway. \

Let him deal with the rest of it.

Can you move in the week instead?
Some of the kids will be in school and DH more likely to get time off work.

Hi OP
You can do it . It wont be easy but it is possible. If you cant afford a removal company you will have to hire a van over the weekend.
Get DH to get lots of boxes from his supermarket , and you will need some 'Pack 2' proper removal boxes ( hire / beg from removal co.)
Spend every day and evening wrapping / boxing / taping and labelling evrything.
Get all the boxes in the hallway , or front room.

Do not put all your heavy items in the same box ( books ; plates ) instead add a pillow or lampshade so its not too heavy.

Make it into a game and get the older DC's to bring you everything to wrap and box up.

Get him to pack the van on Friday night after work, and drive it to the new house whilst you follow in car. He pisses off to work ( cowardly custard) and you unpack. Furniture will have to follow on Sunday.

Try and get some familly to help or RL friends .

If you are organised , boxed up and dismantled then it is possible. Maybe get the DC's looked after ? leave you to get on with it unhindered .

Its not acceptable what he's done , but if when he comes home from work he spends 4 hours packing each evening it is doable.

Have you got some very kind trustworthy neighbours?
Who, if couldnt help you pack, could look after at least soem of your children?
Slightly wincing at this suggestion myself.

Tweedslacks I cannot get the dc's looked after and oh is working sat and sunday. I really do not have anyone else i can ask. What I do have access to is his credit card. is this a dealbreaker? I'm beginning to think it is..

If you have access to his credit card you can get a babysitter and a man with a van. Do both.

Why does it have to be weekend. Why not during the week when surely he has time off. Don't let him know you are moving on xx day, just get up and tell him. That way he cannot wimp out again.
There was obviously some type of plan in place, just do that but on a different day.

I would just tell him that since he has to work, he will have to make other arrangements. Simples!