to be annoyed that we are excluded

[Flojo1979]

Here comes the excuses, so far I've batted them back with good humour but its fading fast.
Been seeing someone on and off for a while, he spends time art mine, with my young kids etc.
Hes off to NEC with his son tomorrow who I havent met.
I just invited myself and DD to go to, as he knows we love motorbikes too.
Cue excuses.
So far we've had 'u know I'm going with DS', to which I replied 'oh sorry for confusion, I meant we all go then u see us and DS, win win, wharves time are u picking me up?' To which he replied 'told u I'm going with DS' to which I replied 'thats fine, can't wait to meet him. What time shall I be ready for' .....
I'm on a hiding to nothing ain't it?
How on earth do I salvage this?

[IllageVidiot]

Chaya5738 - it might look spineless, but if after this short amount of time I got that kind of pushy balls from someone I would be fudging like all get out while I was working out whether this was an indication of what was to come - if I decided it was then I would be non-commital while I worked out the best way to dump and run.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Yes, but texting is not grabbing the bull by the horns. It's more like flicking the bull on the ear.

You sound frustrated but this isn't the way to go about things

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

How can you not see you are wrong?

You aren't doing yourself any favours by being pushy. You are just giving him the opportunity to piss all over your feelings, and then if you stay with him after that rejection, you are practically giving him an invitation to treat you like crap. He will know that you will hang on for him, even if he hurts you, so he'll do it again because he has nothing to lose. The fact that he cares for you won't stop him, because he doesn't already care for you enough to want you to meet his family.

Sorry, but I think you need to think about where this is going and treat yourself and more importantly, your child, with more respect.

[timeforachangebaby]

A) he just isn't that into you
b) his child is an adult and has no real need to meet you
C) be glad about b - SCs are a nightmare no matter how old they are

[grovel]

If you care, send him this text:

I'm sorry I was so pushy about the NEC. I was wrong. I got it into my head that it would be an ideal time for us all to meet up. I hadn't really thought it through from your standpoint. Have a lovely time.

[grovel]

Give him 10 minutes and then phone him.

[Flojo1979]

I know I'm not doing myself any favours! But believe me, this bloke is never wrong! (in his eyes!) and telling him I am will only get me a yes u r response and still no nearer to finding out the cause of him holding back on me.
Still not read text!

[CordeliaChase]

YABU

He probably just wants to have some boys time. Maybe his son has bought him these tickets as a treat, maybe he doesnt get to do stuff like this often. It might be a tradition that they go to the bike show. You don't know. It seems to me either hes just not that into you, you're being too pushy or you're not listening to him. Yes you have let him into every aspect of your life. Did he ask you to let him in? Or did you push it on him? Sorry if I'm being harsh but you need to back off and let him spend time with his DS. I'm sure you would have a lot less respect for him if he took no interest in his son

[Flojo1979]

grove of course I care but its still not fair!

[grovel]

He's not fucking holding back on you. He is (or was!) developing a complex relationship in his own way. We all do that.

[TheNebulousBoojum]

So what did the text say?

[NoraGainesborough]

this bloke is never wrong!

sounds like you were made for each other.

Maybe you feel he is never wrong because you behave like this. He does NOT have to provide you with reasons when you have been out on 2 dates.

You are wrong. and if you are having these sorts of issues and playing games at this stage, you may as well pack it in. You will be miserable together and then you will split. Then your dcs will get hurt.

[JustFabulous]

If you have such distain for him why are you with him?

All the !! about not reading the texts are a bit juvenile. Just read it. All this angst could be for nothing.

[Flojo1979]

Then why not reply sorry hun its strictly boys together time, instead of making me feel like he's just not that in to me?

[grovel]

Do you know much about men, Flojo?

[tisnottheseasonyet]

"' 'snot fair!!"

I take my manipulative suggestion back OP, you're just incredibly childish.

[CordeliaChase]

Also, he might not want young kids running round. If its the same bike show I went to a few years ago (guessing it probably will be) its more of an adult environment. Too many beautiful bikes, things that can get pushed over/broken etc. Stress alert when kids added!

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Is he holding back on you though?

Some of us believe he isn't. You clearly do.

On a related point, if you think he won't talk about things, maybe he's not the man for you

[YellowDinosaur]

Um... He might actually have replied that if you ever actually read his bloody text!

And if you want this relationship to go anywhere accept that he wants to have the time alone with his ds, send grovels text and back the fuck off!

[DontmindifIdo]

Why is it not fair that he doesn't want you to meet his DS after a very short time dating in a relationship you call 'on and off'?

That you decided to introduce him to your DD is your mistake decision - why is it fair that because you made one decision that you felt was right for your DD he has to do exactly the same for his DS, even if he doesn't think it's the right one for his DS?

Or do you mean it's not fair that you don't get to go to the bike show (with a 3 year old, who won't want to trapse round all day looking at all the bikes, so you'll either have to deal with a bored 3 year old or make DP and his DS not have the 'grown men day out' they want, but pander to your DD)

[NoraGainesborough]

grove of course I care but its still not fair! OP grow up.

You sound about five. On another thread you admitted you often come across as jealous and 'churlish'. Thats coming through loud and clear now.

That could be another reason he isn't ready for you to meet yet.

[marchwillsoonbehere]

grove of course I care but its still not fair!

Help me out here: I am really struggling to work out what's not fair. You have introduced him to your children, your choice; he hasn't introduced you to his yet, his choice. What could possibly be fairer?

This is a brand new not yet fully established relationship. There will be time enough to indulge in mutual back scratching later on if it gets that far.

I think Grovel's suggested text is brilliant. Whereas you just seem hidebound by not admitting you're wrong.

And just for the record 'it's not fair' sounds like someone let Violet Elizabeth Bott in by mistake!

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

How would him saying that it's strictly boys time have made you feel any different? The outcome would be the same.

[NoraGainesborough]

Then why not reply sorry hun its strictly boys together time

he did, but not using the exact words YOU found acceptable. He told you he was going with his son. Thats what he was saying when he said ' i told you i was going with ds'.

Not everybody words things exactly how you require.