to be annoyed that we are excluded

[Flojo1979]

Here comes the excuses, so far I've batted them back with good humour but its fading fast.
Been seeing someone on and off for a while, he spends time art mine, with my young kids etc.
Hes off to NEC with his son tomorrow who I havent met.
I just invited myself and DD to go to, as he knows we love motorbikes too.
Cue excuses.
So far we've had 'u know I'm going with DS', to which I replied 'oh sorry for confusion, I meant we all go then u see us and DS, win win, wharves time are u picking me up?' To which he replied 'told u I'm going with DS' to which I replied 'thats fine, can't wait to meet him. What time shall I be ready for' .....
I'm on a hiding to nothing ain't it?
How on earth do I salvage this?

[VoiceofUnreason]

This is the most bizarre thread of the day

[Flojo1979]

Why wouldn't I let him take my 3 yo DD 'off' ?

[AmberLeaf]

Because it is your job as her parent not to hand her out to random men.

[Flojo1979]

I've known him 13 yrs, I trust him completely.
I was in a fix, it was a Sunday, his DS was busy, he offered to help me out of fix and take DD to his families where his sister and her 2 young DCs were for about 2 hrs.

[Doinmummy]

My first ever

[NoraGainesborough]

I wouldn't let him take my dd to meet his family because he was a casual kind of boyfriend. You have only had two dates with him.

What need was there for him to have sole charge of her and for her to meet his family?

HOw would you feel if your ex let his kind of girlfriend take her off for the day?

Also you didn't have plans to go to the NEC then, so he didn't cancel anything.

[AmberLeaf]

Can anyone be that naive?

I agree shinyblackgrape.

[Doinmummy]

None of this makes much sense

[picnicbasketcase]

If he's been a friend for years (but you've only been seeing each other romantically for a few months), I don't think it's that bad for him to take your DD out to visit family.. You've pretty much cocked up by not accepting his first text reply saying he was going with his DS though. I can't think why anyone would keep pushing themselves into going somewhere when they've already been told they aren't welcome.

[Flojo1979]

Why because he's a bloke? Are u really that sexist?
I'm sure when you've been in a fix u have left DC with female friends u have known less time.
So because this is a male friend and just because we have since crossed the line from friend to boyfriend that made him incompetent?

[timeforachangebaby]

NEC is fine for children - we took a nearly 2 and nearly 4 year old last year, they loved it, although that was mid week.

[Flojo1979]

Nora he didn't take her 'to meet his family' as such. I was in a fix and he said he'd take her and he'd love to introduce her to his family, which I found endearing, as I was burning a candle by this point.

[timeforachangebaby]

flojo I can see why you left dd with him as well, its inly now you are making the cross over into "relationship" territory,we have male friends we would leave DCs with.

[flow4]

I think your only way to salvage this is to text him and say "I've been thinking. I've been a bit unreasonable, haven't I?! Sorry. Of COURSE you want time alone with your DS. Have a lovely day! See you soon".

[Badgersnatch]

At least pirate bouncy castles was funny.

[Flojo1979]

Anyway, just rang him again (yes twice, pushy!) and he answered laughing saying do u really want to drag poor DD round the NEC all day? To which i replied no, no, your right it was a silly idea, she'd probably get bored silly me, I didn't think, I just thought it'd be nice to meet your son but it was daft of me to wade in on a boys trip.
..To which he replied, no worries, DS is here now I've just told him all about u, say hello DS.....
Doh! Looks like I got it wrong! Ok I admit it I DID GET IT WRONG!
Looks like I got away with it this time, doubt i'll be so lucky next time.
Note to self, when feeling needy, have instead!

[Flojo1979]

flow thanx that's the best reply I could have sent. Please be on stand by for next time!

[NoraGainesborough]

I'm sure when you've been in a fix u have left DC with female friends u have known less time.

Actually no.
I have been lucky enough that only family have had mine. I took ds to hospital this week as I have disloctaed my rib. I had to wait for mum to be free before they could 'try' manipulate it back. i could have called some 'off and on friends' but i didn't.

Its not so much that he took her.

Your first point is that HE took her to meet his family on her own. Not with you and you are not allowed to meet them. You felt hidden. Thats weird. A man (or woman) to arrange to take his partners kids to meet his family but exclude her partner is strange.

However the situation was that he didn't want to take her to meet his family. he was doing you a favor (so you couldn't have gone anyway) and thought the best place to take was his sisters as she has small kids. So it was easier.

The intention was not to introduce her (and not you to his family) but to make the couple of hours he had easier.

There is a difference. But you seem to like to describe situations which best suit you at the time.

You have changed your story so many times in this thread. I am not sure if you are a generally erratic person or taking the piss.

[shinyblackgrape]

timeforachange - do the male friends take your DC off to meet family who you've never met? Seriously?

Are your DC 3?

[Bonsoir]

Your new boyfriend is doing something with his 18 year old DS and you are trying to butt in?

Leave them be - they are allowed to want to spend time alone together.

[Flojo1979]

My DC are 7 and 3. 7 yo DS sees his dad saturday so not there but I have DD without much break, other than work and without much family help. Hence it not being ideal now we have crossed over for DD to be involved but its that or nothing and tbh I need it, I'm so lonely and find wkends so long.

[timeforachangebaby]

Re male friends, OP has said she and this man have been friends with 13 years, I am looking at it in that context, I wouldn't leave DCs with anyone I/we didnt trust, so DH best mate has a million siblings, I trust him implicitly and I wouldnt mind where he took them while they are in his care, because I wouldnt be leaving him with them if I didnt trust his judgement.