to ask what the worst present you ever had was

[Justforlaughs]

When I first started seeing my now DH, he asked what I wanted for my birthday. I answered "nothing" and I got it! I've also been given a size 10 bikini (when I was a size 16), by a Great Aunt and a hose reel by my MIL. What strange things have you been given?

A good few years ago. Not me, my DSis...

Mum: What would you like for Christmas DD1?
DSis: Anything except Star Wars. I hate Star Wars.

Xmas day...

DSis: Return of the Jedi? But Mum I...
Mum [sees look on Sis's face]: I thought you said you liked Star Wars?

So not only did she get the re-mastered VIDEO of her most hated film, it was also the second of the trilogy, of which no member of the family had the other installments!

I got a jelly thong from a really close friend once. I wouldn't say it was the worst ever gift I've had, but certainly the most "What were they thinking!?"

I feel very fortunate after laughing at some of the horrors on here - but in previous years I've been gifted...

a kitchen clock decorated with seashells from MIL (which DH loved and insisted we display proudly for the entire following year)

a neon bum bag and matching fingerless gloves, thanks Aunty

a yellow, moon shaped tea-light oil burner with a creepy face from DH - nice.

Oh Lavender, an empty box, how cruel. No wonder you binned him.

Sunny, at least they hadn't split the ruler in half as wel

A potato-peeler from (now) XH. His family loved "practical" presents.

From my XH for my birthday: the sequel to the book he was reading. Nothing I would ever have chosen, it was some sort of book about working in the screen trade.

DH thoughtfully got me some stretchmark cream one Mother's Day - how kind!

DMum has apparently already give me my Xmas present for this year - clingfilm in a proper dispenser. Always moans at me that we have the cheap stuff she can't tear, and never have any kitchen roll. Gave me this last week then said it would do for me for Xmas as they are quite expensive!!

A bottle of wine and box of chocs for my birthday from DSis when I was suffering (badly!) from morning sickness!?

I got a joke present off DP's mom not long after we started going out, this will probably really out me if any of DP family are on here.

a lovely little gold gift box, I opened it, to find four dishwasher tablets nestled in shredded tissue paper.

It was a really nice box though DP got it off his head for laughing at me

I should add that I got other stuff too, non-joke pressies that were really nice can't quite remember what they are now it was at least 4 years ago

Last Christmas, first one with my Mum and 4 months pregnant gave DH his carefully thought-out presents and card..... My Mum and I are sitting there waiting as he looks through presents, finally Mum says to him 'are you going to give Camden her present?'DH response 'I've been too busy to get her anything!'. Cue hormonal crying from me

Besides that a whip in a tin from a friend one Christmas where we were doing 'nice £20 secret Santa gifts.

Some of these have reminded me of more! My 90+ year old granny gave me a silk negligee that she reckoned she'd bought to liven up her love life but claimed not to have worn (and my grandpa has been dead 15+ years). Tragically it didn't fit me but DD now has it for playing dressing up.

Same granny (and grandpa) used to hoard stuff like mad, they'd keep it for years. She once gave me a massive slab of brazil nut toffee plus hammer for smashing it, but turned out that all the brazil nuts were mouldy and it was a year after its BB date.

Similar to Bluehat's experience, one Christmas when I was a youngish teen, same granny gave my three gorgeous, slim, popular, attractive-to-boys cousins some gorgeous pure silk lacy knickers. I got a comedy pair with Santas all over them

Same ex-bf who got me the Pingu video also got me a handbag with a picture on the side depicting an oil painting impression of James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Humphrey Bogart and Elvis Presley all playing pool

One year when we were children my dad got my brothers and I each a small set of stationery including scissors, roll of sellotape, etc, all in a different colour for easy identification, because he was so fed up of us nicking his

And not me but a friend once got, for a birthday from another friend, a small statuette of a drunk man twirling round a lamppost, constructed entirely out of nuts and bolts.

bath foam from everyone, every bloody time I had a baby!
( we have 6 kids)
thanks, great, just what I need! as if I was able to have a bath when I don't even have time to eat/pee/shower/sleep....

and bloody chocolates, I mean FFS, I've just given birth and have a wobbly tummy and 2-4st extra weight - must I be given chocolates, which of course I'll scoff down, sobbing and thinking I'll never ever get out of maternity clothes?

I'll start by saying my mum is a total cow. When I was 13 all i got for christmas was a pack of pound shop tealights. Literally all I got. My cousin was living close by and came for christmas with her kids (who btw all got lovely gifts from the cow) and they got pressies for everyone and got me an oil burner. Mum obv. realised I couldnt not open something from her it would look odd, so wrapped up her tealights. Still with the 99p sticker

Mind you at least I got to keep those. The year before my "big" pressie was a hairdryer. Mum borrowed it at new years before she went out (oddly hers has broken back in november) and I never saw it again.

dita I'd love that handbag!

also my sisters's exbf asked my sister to drop her plans to meet him on her birthday.

she was so excited - what lovely treat is awaiting her? a nice meal? a surprise party? fab presents?
I kid you not he actually dumped her! On her birthday, a week before Christmas....

Some wipes for my glasses with a glasses repair kit, last year from my nan. Yet another bloody notebook, from my nan. Every year I ask her to please please not get me another notebook. Every year she does because its nice to have things to open apparently.

My cousins almost got a fruit basket from her, I saved them from that by reminding her that 22 year old men don't really want fruit baskets.

DH got me a car window squeegy this year for my birthday as he drove my car and realised I didn't have one. Great. My friend said this topped her present of a toothbrush and pillow from her DH last year.

Bless my nan, she tries so hard but she really does get some not quite so good presents. I now make an amazon wishlist and email it to my grandad (and DH with instructions that they both have the same list and need to confer, yes for my birthday, they got me the same thing).

One Christmas my ex-P got a second hand car dent remover from his grandad! The next year he got a broken chess set. The year after he got a packet of biscuits. Lovely old guy, a bit dotty though.

One year I was given half a big bar of Cadbury's milk chocolate. The giver had realised that she only had one bar left and snapped it in half to share between me and another person. But she'd gone to the trouble of wrapping them individually!

Once I was also given one of those microfibre head towels from the pound shop. A bit "Eh?" but turned out to be quite useful in the end.

When my Mum and Dad were 'courting', he gave her a large medallion with a stag on it...

A vegetarian cookery book from PIL who both happen to be veggie ... On opening it I was told "maybe next time we come round for dinner, you'll be able to think of something besides ratatouille to cook"!

A potato recipe book from my mother in law. There were pictures of potatos, recipes with potatoes and pictures of those recipes. What can I say? In fact what did I say on opening it? Why thank you. It's just what I've always wanted.

I was given a count by numbers as a main gift by an in named person. Not my husband but people I know are members of this sight. I was not amused as I was taught by my GodFather as a child how to water colour paint properly. They knew this

christening pressents for my sons 8 and 6 nicely wrapped from loving aunt, a male action fiqure type doll, when legs flipped, one turned in to a vampire and one in to a devil.

all opened in front of the very christian elderly church ladies and my mils neighbours. cue actual GASPS of shock. one even said faintly, ' are they actual christening presents'?

btw we had all kids 'dipped' at once, very big do.
i must say I was a little surprised.

The kids didnt like them anyway. In the bin the next day.

And HERE lies the problem people. I have sat hysterically reading some of these out to DH and he has said things like "what's wrong with that?" "very useful" "handy". You see, they have no idea!

SIL once gave us a framed picture of her for our joint Christmas gift (she's in her thirties, as are we).

MIL gave me a wooden horses head one year (that's qute the message) and a necklace with a pig on the next year...

Must admit I would have liked the pigs in a crate, and the pig necklace.

Talc is supposed to soak up lingering moisture after you've dried yourself following a bath, good for feet and underarms - and, yes, for under boobs if they are like mine. HTH

My gran is the very worst present giver in the entire history of present giving.

Here I present to you the evidence for the prosecution:

For my Mum (her daughter) - an electric, plug-in, two ring hob (explanation: "you can cook eggs on there, and such." My mother has a fully-fitted kitchen complete with double fan-assisted oven, five ring Bosch gas hob and a combination microwave oven, to boot.)

Also for my mum, a Teasmade. (See notes above.) Personally I thought they stopped making those in 1979, but no...

For me: tacky china plates with cats on them. Or sometimes, kittens. Every year. EVERY SINGLE YEAR FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS. (My cats eat their dinner off them, and if I run them through the dishwasher just a few more times the nauseatingly twee pictures on them will have faded entirely. The plates this is, not the cats.)

Also for me: a mans burgundy quilted dressing gown (smoker's style.) Quote "it's your colour love."

For my brother: a golf ball cleaner. My brother does not and has never played golf. He is 25 and very hip indeed, thank you.

For my dad, after he was diagnosed diabetic, which she had actually been told about, many many times: a huge hamper full of chocolates and toffees. (Kill or cure, maybe? Who knows...)

For my sister: an electric whisk. Opened by me on her behalf, as at the time my sister was living out of a camper van during a year travelling round New Zealand. When this was pointed out to Granny, she helpfully offered to post it to her via airmail.

For my sister: a potato sack. As in, one of these: www.betterware.co.uk/large-potato-storage-case.html. That was it. That was all she got from Granny that year. (It was nicely wrapped, mind.)