to ask what the worst present you ever had was

[Justforlaughs]

When I first started seeing my now DH, he asked what I wanted for my birthday. I answered "nothing" and I got it! I've also been given a size 10 bikini (when I was a size 16), by a Great Aunt and a hose reel by my MIL. What strange things have you been given?

The first year I was seeing DH he bought me a tyre for my car. A single fecking tyre....

Valentine's this year I got an 'IOU a puppy' - we found out we were pregnant a few weeks later so puppy is now on hold!

I also remember when my eldest child was a baby and we were really struggling for money and DH bought me a bottle of Dom Perigon, for my birthday lovely but couldn't help thinking 'that's another £10' with every sip.

He also bought me and my mum some stockings one xmas.....

True fact- my gran (who I love) regularly gives me tinned salmon in my Christmas stock

My aunt and uncle gave me a tube of Savlon once. Yep, a single gift wrapped tube. My bro got a bottle of mouthwash.

Wasn't a joke apparently so guess they were worried about our personal hygiene ...!

kirrie, I remember tinned salmon was a great treat for my granny (born 1910) - expensive and something for a special occasion. So she probably means well!

"Thermal Pantelettes"

My friend once got a Water Butt, she did not hide her displeasure and made him pay in the January sales for that.

When I was a slim teenager into rock music and all things grungy I was given a size 12-14 pair of pyjamas that had "LITTLE PRINCESS" written in rhinestones across the front.

Oh yes, I used to get the talc and soap combo sets from boots from aunts. I still don't know what to do with talc. No one knew, the pots would line up all dusty in the bathroom til dm threw them out.

I have also been given

• stripy salt and pepper set from a bf ( now dh) he loved them and was amazed I wasn't in raptures. He popped out boxing day and returned with a diamond bracket:) I wasn't that upset, just bemused really about the pots.

• ex bf had been promising me a puppy for ages. He knew I had wanted a dog for years. Christmas mornng, In the kitchen there was a large cardboard box with a ribbon round it, and it was moving! I was thrilled, I mean estatic. I opened it and it was empty save for the string he had been pulling from the chair. He laughed all day. There was nothing else.

When I was about 13 my Grandad got me a ornamental bull dog. I have no idea why, I didn't even like dogs that much at the time.

First Christmas with my OH I put tonnes of effort into getting him lots of presents he'd really like, he got me a load of sexy dress up outfits. That wasn't so bad though, I have a sense of humour about it.

Lots of (deliberately) insulting rubbish from my (rich) ex-MIL, best one was probs an ancient, smelly bag with torn lining and still full of spilled face powder and tobacco. And a plastic salad-spinner that looked too poor quality to be sold in a pound shop. She had a re-gifting cupboard full of nice stuff she'd been given and didn't want (and a note of who'd given it so's she didn't give it back) but - for some reason! - none of the actual nice quality stuff ever came to me ...

My mum went to Canada and the USA on holiday. On her return she gave her only grandson, age 9, a set of three bic pens and the free crisps (squashed) she'd not eaten on the airplane as gifts. I was furious, but my sweet son was as politely and genuinely grateful as he would have been for a more thoughtful gift. I had the feeling she was trying to wind me up, she had that powerful glint in her eye.

A former boyfriend brought me a pillow (still with primark price tags), a bolt lock and a smoke alarm one year. The next year he got me a fridge magnet which read ''you made me gay''.

A few years ago my MiL bought me a pair of pink crimplene trousers. They were the most hideous thing I'd ever seen. I took them back to M&S and it turned out they'd only cost £2.

For my 11th birthday my dad got me a book of poetry. It wasn't even good poetry :(

DH once bought me a wormery and 1kg of live composting worms. At no stage had I ever expressed an interest in a wormery.

My DxH bigged up my soon to be birthday present for weeks. Kept telling me it was fantastic and how I was going to love it

Seeing as we rarely bought each other gifts as we were always skint, I couldn't wait.

The day duly arrived and he handed over the beautifully wrapped present and I eagerly tore into it.

It was a fucking head torch! Apparently it meant I could read in bed without disturbing anyone (i.e. him).

My dad bought me the biggest cookie jar he could find, it was ridiculously huge and shaped like a snail. You took it's hat off and had to snake your hand down it's neck to the biscuits inside, so you couldn't even see what you were getting. It was so tall it couldn't sit on our kitchen counter as it wouldn't fit under the wall units. Damn thing was also indestructible.

Got my own back the year after and bought him one of those giant teacups and saucers [was meant to be a planter for the garden]. My mum was not amused it was incredibly tacky and HUGE.

We've now descended into childishness with it now :)

My great aunt got me and itsy bitsy teeny weeny thong back bikini in a big size when I was about 8. My gran nearly spat her false teeth out with laughter, my face said it all. They have it on video and they love getting it out to show DH.

My MiL, very mild, polite and a bit prude-ish... bought me a copy of Caitlin Moran's How to be a Woman and she said it was brilliant, especially the first part. Well, that opened my eyes. I had to read some out to DH... he was most embarrassed that his mum had read this book. Thinking about getting her the 50 shades of grey :)

A wedge to go under a door. Wrapped up with a bow on it. From my mad aunt. Still have no idea why! Maybe I inadvertantly mentioned a door that kept slamming shut?

hahaha Tigerbomb, how useful when Mining too

My mother-in-law bought me anti-wrinkle cream one year. She's also bought me body toning lotion too. No brand you've ever heard of - she buys everything off the shopping channels and only buys if it's on a big discount. Don't think she can like me very much!

My main issue is that DP comes home from work and on a fairly frequent basis announces "I've got a present for you!" Most recently it turned out to be some sushi one of his colleagues hadn't finished at lunchtime. Unsanitary, and NOT a present! We have had many discussions on what a present is, and he still doesn't get it. However, it all made sense when I spent first christmas with his parents - his main present was a freebie rucksack his dad had picked up at an AGM.

A member of my family keeps giving me nail varnish. Nice gift but its always been used.

For a special birthday I received earrings. Except I haven't worn earrings (thanks to "cheap" earrings) when I was younger causing no end of problems as I'm older. A fact the bearer of the gift knew only too well.

As a child I once received half a pack of biscuits and a small ruler from my DGF and his hideous wife. My DSis received the same...

MIL has perfected the art of buying me presents. One year a plastic clothes airer. Another year, perfume from Lidls

I always get something no longer of use to my SIL from her home while they get DH something lovely usually alcohol.

An Ikea kitchen storage bag
An empty round (toilet roll size ) box with a lid

Then last year she got DH an individual pint glass with a selection of fruit beers and for me...

A Bible reading angel statue and a felt, probably home made 'skirt' for a Christmas tree - well it's either that or a cape for me to wear

Especially good as they know that are atheists and we don't really 'do' Christmas in a big way.