to ask what the worst present you ever had was

[Justforlaughs]

When I first started seeing my now DH, he asked what I wanted for my birthday. I answered "nothing" and I got it! I've also been given a size 10 bikini (when I was a size 16), by a Great Aunt and a hose reel by my MIL. What strange things have you been given?

Occasionally for work I have to wear make-up, very natural, never for pleasure. After having DD1, a miscarrage, DD2, major self building house works, MIL gave me some open purple Elizabeth Arden mascara which she then promptly tried to return to the ebay seller.
The same year DH gave me a new porcelain toilet because evidently the old u bend could n't cope with my normal fibrous diet. There was nothing else that year . Once a fortnight during my sole 2 hour escape from child care I used to drive to a local layby and have a little cry.

I've also had to conjure up the correct face for MIL for 5 + 1 broken supermarket duck eggs.

Sorry to say so, but some people are a little bit ungrateful. I think we have a bit to much of a present giving culture. Maybe we need to just give to the kids and forget about the rest. Seems to breed ill feeling.

The mother of an old boyfriend once got me a vanilla car air freshener, she was nice but I dislike the smell of vanilla and at the time I couldn't even drive!

A friend of mine was given a packet of Tena Lady pads on her 30th birthday!

My mum was given a really big hideous cat ornament by a family friend, it's stripy and shaped a bit like a rugby ball on its side, with a horrible squished face and evil eyes (black glass beads set into ceramic.) We use it when reversing into the driveway as a marker, so the parking sensor goes off before we hit the garden path!

Still nylon floral knickers from Asda, from MIL.

When I was 14 one of my aunties bought me an eye-shadow compact (even though I didn't wear makeup, and still don't); the previous year she bought me a bottle a perfume AND A COLOURING BOOK!! Maybe she was hedging her bets as to how mature I was.

Had some cracking wedding presents. DH's parents bought us a coffee machine; I don't drink coffee. DH's great aunt bought us a gift set of 'on the occasion of your wedding' drinking glasses. When we opened up the box we found paper napkins inside, printed with the legend "Barry and Dawn Wedding Day 5 June 1985' (or some such). We are not Barry and Dawn, and got married in October 1998.

Giving gifts to the people you love in the middle of winter when it's miserable and cold and rubbish outside is a lovely tradition. Saying that I don't beleive in giving people lots of random tat just so they'll have lots of presents to open, i prefer to give one lovely present i know will be appreciated (or failing inspiration money/ gift vouchers)

Some people find it difficult to spend their money on themselves and i take pleasure in noting what i have heard people say, oh I'd love a such and such but I just can't justify it.

Maybe I'm just defensive as it's my baby's first xmas

In terms of presents I will add;
nothing from my mums side of the family as they are all J witnesses
nothing from my dads side of the family as I've never met him
A book my dp wanted (last year whilst heavily pregnant)
two incredibly difficult jigsaw puzzles (to keep me occupied!) also from dp
Last year from my mum I got a subscription to new scientist (great i hear you say, but she never got round to actually ordering it.)

My friends (whose mum REALLY does the random tat thing) gave her a box of sanitary towels and a t-shirt that read "I may have lost my hair but I haven't lost my mojo" (she is fortunately not bald or this would not be as funny)

My dp who has a beard and has dome since time immemoriable got a shaving kit last year

This year people are threatening to buy my dd a sit and ride toy (we live in a tiny cramped house with barely enough room to scoot round the furniture)

I've also had a pack of Constance Carol lipsticks and sparkly nail varnish and hair gel, I was 35 when that one was given. All from the same source. I never expect or solicit gifts, except from OH - who needs a little guidance to stop him wasting money.

amazingmum I'll see if I can dig it out (and swap it for your chocs )

ARP my DH would genuinely love a book of potato recipes, with pictures!

DH got a set of overtaking mirrors from his parents.
He got me a pillow and a vase. Two separate xmas', I wasn't lucky enough to have them both at once.
DD got a peppa pig coloring thing from one SiL. She was 10 at the time.

I was a messed up teenager. I told my mother I'd that I was a self-harmer and was trying to stop cutting myself. A month later, for christmas I got a set of (poundland) craft knives to replace the ones I'd thrown out to remove temptation.

a few years later I got more poundland crap - plastic coasters when she knew I had no furniture to protect. (had an over-full bookcase, a sofa and a bed none of which needed coasters!). Not to sound ungrateful, but she bought my brother and his wife a leather chair that year! I knew I wasn't favourite LOL!

some hankies

MIL used to give me a box of After Eights each Christmas. Was the kind of thing I would give to school for the tombola, or to a babysitter along with the payment for the night's sitting.. As a Christmas present, I thought it was slightly worse than nothing, though never said so, obviously.

Some people are better at presents than others.

Giraffes, hankies used to be standard, though boring, presents in the 60s and 70s. Before tissues!

A plastic CD storage case.

It was the mid 80s, my aunt had phoned my mum to say would I like it, my mum knowing I didn't have a CD player and knowing I wasn't going to get one in the near future said I would.

Then my mum told me what I was getting and to act pleased. I asked why she didn't say I didn't have a CD player and her answer was. 'your aunt might have been upset'.

For my birthday my expartner bought me a complete set of Beatrix Potter books, something I'd wanted since a child.

Very excitedly told my mum what he had got for me. We went out for a family meal a couple of days later and my mum presented me with a few Beatrix Potter books saying, 'I think this is something you'll really like.'

I never understand the 'I got you this because you don't have one'

Teaddy Bears - I was 30

A silver cross on a chain - I'm an atheist

DH's cousin gave us a selection of chocolate penises as a wedding gift. That was fun to open in front of granny...!

The best use for talc is to chuck it in your beach bag. Cover yourself with it if you are all sandy, and it comes right off.

From my MIL, after giving everyone else in the family nice presents, a smelly, possibly used shower puff.
20 years in, she still hates me for marrying her Son and wants me to descend to her level and throw a tantrum, like she does when she doesn't like something. But I'll never give her the satisfaction so I thanked her for it. That wasn't the reaction she expected!

A set of what can only be described as butter knives by what was my best friend. I think the theory was you could use them for cheese, but they were too small. They went well on fleabay recently!
My best present was getting pregnant on my 40th with my DD

sashh 'I got you this because you don't have one' - I know, it puzzles me too!

and it's never a diamond necklace

SIL bought me a bag of dried broad beans one year. I hate broad beans.

I think this highlights generational differences - I think the relative cost of things used to be so much higher, pre poundland and Chinese mass production, and it was really quite acceptable once to give people basic useful things that would make their lives a little bit easier because they might not have been able to afford to replace their old worn version (dusters, etc)

My M out-of L got me a size 22 jumper when I was a 12, and I'm afraid I did take that as a dig because I am stocky even as a 12 and she is one of those people who is very judgey about weight and I think honestly saw me as rather fat. (I had worked hard to get to that 12 from a post-partum 18)

Speaking of useful things, MIL gets DP windscreen wash and a large yellow sponge every year which always makes me giggle.

Oh Lord, this thread is desperate! I am reminded of the 18th birthday present my slightly odd aunt gave me. It came in a hug box and I was very excited. Turned out to be a suitcase. My aunt, slightly perplexed at my obvious confusion, leant forward and said: "It's so you can leave home, dear."

I've found a picture very similar to the eighteenth birthday present DH got from his parents!!!!

Because every young man on the edge of adulthood needs something like this?!?

Best year ever was when my mother stated she actually had no use for the digital photo frame we lovingly bought for her and was it ok to ebay it?
We were just sitting down to xmas dinner ?

A Slendertone exercise belt - I mean really!!