To tell this woman to f off and buy her own dress?

[charlmarascoxo]

I've worked with the same women "Wendy" for around 3 years now, and I am the same age as her daughter "Amelia".

Today Wendy asks me as if it would be possible for me to bring in my wedding dress to work for Amelia to borrow for her wedding. She explained that they were both struggling financially and that Wendy herself was in debt.

My DH has a good job and earns well and we were able to afford to have a lovely wedding and I was able to afford the dress that I wanted. Neither Wendy or Amelia were invited to the wedding, however I have been told by Wendy that they were both looking at the wedding photos on Facebook and how Amelia would love to have the same dress.

I am being a bitch if I refuse? My dress is so special to me and I don't want just anyone wearing it.

I often ride a unicorn round the house, I will let Ameilia borrow it for her wedding if she likes

I am shocked! Seriously! If you'd said yes she would have been asking move into your spare room or perhaps some of your DH's sperm in the future!

at Amelia's latest e mail. The nerve!

This has gone from them being slightly rude (at best) to stalker crazy. ignore them as much as possible. Also give your bosses at work a heads up.

Although I would be tempted to book a trash the dress photo shoot to put on Facebook!

I agree with FryOneFatManic, you should calmly shit in her drawer.

I would have to respond along the lines of namechanger too. Why do people think their wedding trumps everything, even previously adhered to codes of conduct, and everyone should bow to every whim 'because it's MY WEDDING'. It must be some form of mania.

op, just a thought, do you think your colleague or her daughter are reading this thread? That might be why they've overreacted. You haven't said anything bad but they might be embarrassed reading about themselves on-line.

I have never wanted to get married (female commitment-phobe) but can't believe how cheap & how beautiful some of the 2nd hand dresses are. Surely, they could buy one & re-sell it?

Just reply

'And that, my dear, is why!'

SpuddybeanThu 22-Nov-12 15:16:47
I agree with FryOneFatManic, you should calmly shit in her drawer.

I agree with another poster that a discreet heads up to boss at work may help, especially if Wendy decides to bitch behind your back.

Crikey. How much do you have to work with Wendy? Is it going to be problematic? Might it be worth insisting on having a proper conversation with her before she tries to turn it into a feud?

Billygoats suggestion is more sensible than mine. Spuddybean is right, weddings seem to turn minor psychopaths into major ones. Hope the office environment isn't too grim OP.

- gosh how rude. Does "Wendy" know about her daughter's bad attitude? I would have a quiet word with her. Block her daughter though.

Well that behaviour just proves why you are right not to lend the dress. Would they have given it back? What condition would it be in??

There are some very strange people in the world.

Anyway, yy to giving your manager a heads-up. Make sure you keep the messages saved too because it sounds as though Wendy could turn this very nasty indeed.

What horrible women.

Yikes! I would never lend my Wedding dress let alone to a stranger.

I'm afraid in your situation I would be telling blabbing the story to everyone at work so that they knew exactly what a cheek Wendy and her daughter had. I'd want to get in first in case Wendy spun a different story to portray you in a bad light.

Basically she seems to have got it into her head that she ought to be wearing your wedding dress on her big day. Therefore in her mind you're just being mean and unreasonable and SPOILING HER DAY. It probably didn't even occur to her you'd say no.
Looooon.

Would she like your engagement ring as well? A lend of your husband's morning suit for the day? Or, in fact, your husband, if he's better looking than the one she's lined up currently?? Just for the day, mind. Go on, you selfish cow.

charlmarascoxoThu 22-Nov-12 14:36:47
I said hello to Wendy this morning and all I got was "hmm" back.

^^
This

I'm not so sure the mother will be upset at her daughter's attitude, after all the daughter's attitude must come from somewhere close to home.

1. Block them both from facebook - they can't see that you've done it.
2. "Wendy, can I have a quiet word. I'm can see Amelia is disappointed that I don't want to lend her my wedding dress, but if she contacts me again to call me a bitch I'll be raising it with management here as its bullying behaviour and as you know, that won't be tolerated in our workplace."

1. Make sure everyone knows the whole story.

I was trying for the moral highground there, but I failed.

Wow, that is shocking, OP. If you had lent them the dress, something tells me you wouldn't have got it back!

Amelia was asking an acquaintence of her mother for a huge favour which was politely refused. She then called the OP a "Selfish" bitch. What a charming young woman.

What Wilson said.

Tell her she can have mine. I can't even get rid of mine. Its a nice Alfred Angelo strapless ivory one, couldn't even get rid on e-bay for £10!!

It is very easy for Op to say no. I suspect it was the way in which Wendy 'asked' that is the real problem here.

at selfish bitch . what a nasty piece of work the dd is !!