Locked out of DH's garage

[auroramusisamica]

Am silently fuming as DH has converted our garage into his 'studio' and refuses to give me a key. It has been about a year now and I didn't think much of it first, we agreed it was his place to work, is filled with his things and I had no desire to go in there.
However it has been dawning on me that I don't like being locked out of part of my house. There have been occasions when I wanted to access things (like blank DVDs or paint brushes) and couldn't get them.

I do go in there with him but I have asked for a key, several times over the last few months and he says I don't need one, it is just his stuff, he doesn't want me in there going through things etc.

If he had just given me one first I would have no interest but now it has become this big issue and his refusal is making me want to go through it (which is not like me, I know he has porn there & I don't mind, but he knows I know this so must be something else right?)

So AIBU to want a key, surely if he had nothing to hide he would just give me one?

I'd make like Jack Nicholson in The Shining and chop down the door with an axe.

Privacy isn't locking your wife out of a room in her house.

He can't ask a woman he clearly doesn't trust to trust him.

Just break the door down, OP. Find out what the fucker's doing in there.

Is it a keychain like a prison guard would have? He could have a hostage!

I do go in there with him, it looks normal enough, just office stuff, couch tv etc so hopefully no bodies!!

FredFred - I didn't say I would go through the stuff, it looks boring enough it is just the fact I CAN'T have access that makes me want to IYSWIM.

We do jointly own the house & it's driving me crazy as to why!

YANBU

Lock him out of the bedroom and bathroom and tell him he's not allowed a key

Disrespectful little shit, refusing you access to part of your own house. My first impulse was to say that you put a stop to this nonsense straight, telling him that you WILL NOT be treated like a child in your home.

But... Something about the way you've described this gives me the creeps. Tread carefully and don't put yourself at risk. Your husband's behaviour is not normal.

Do you go in when he is in there? Have a poke around ? Open drawers and cupboards? Sit and chat when you take him a drink or snack?

Is the door open and accessible to you when he is in and out?

All of the above are what is normal and expected . Anything less than this in a normal domestic setting is downright weird.

Agree that privacy and secrecy are two different things. He is hiding something.

We have a tool room which my DH uses and that I virtually never go in. The key is in a box with other keys in our kitchen so I can access it if I ever want or need to. This is normal I'd say. Having the key around his neck at all times and only letting you go in there when accompanied makes me shudder.

Can you wait til he falls asleep and nab the key?

This would certainly begin to worry me. I'd be imagining all sorts and would have to go and search the place.

Do you have your own part of the house that is just yours and totally private? Somehow I doubt it.

DH has a shed with all kinds of tool-like shit in it

different size screwdrivers, and generators and wood and stuff

I have no interest in going in there, with the massive spiders

I could if I wanted to though, very easily
I wouldn't have to wrestle him to the ground for the key, nor wait until he was asleep and then do a Matrix-type intervention hanging from the ceiling while he was asleep to retrieve the key

OP...do you get how ridiculous this is ?

Tell him he gives you a key. Now.

What if there was some kind of medical emergency while he's locked away in there?

Yeah, actually scrap my previous advice to break in.

Could be too risky.

All you know is that you can't trust this man, he keeps big secrets from you and he has no respect for you.

I'd be taking steps to get away from him.

AF But if she tells him he might storm off and get moody, giving him time to hide whatever crap he has in there!

Or do it AnyFuckers way

Exactly what GhoulWithADragonTattoo says.

Here, the garage is DHs space, it's his workshop and tool store. I have no need to poke around in there, but if I wanted to, I'd get the key off the key rack and go and have a look. We both also have our own lockable boxes for filing stuff in, but again, the keys are on the rack in the kitchen.

Being denied access to any part of your own home is frankly, just weird. And quite worrying

Eek, am I the only person reading this feeling scared? Don't want to put the frighteners on you OP but this is the kind of thing c4 documentaries are based on

Also genuinely worried - but I think there could be something illegal going on in there....

Bed No, not just you. I immediately thought of this guy.

:o