To think he should buy a new fucking engagement ring!?

[BlueSuedeStiletto]

I got a text from my ex fiance this morning saying:

"Hiya, this might sound a bit weird, but can I have the engagement ring back?? Think I may have found a new recipient!"

My face was like this .

I've not seen him for a while- since I picked the last of my stuff up- and have been distancing myself, but he didn't mention anything when I saw him. I asked him when we split if he wanted the ring back, and he said no.

Obviously I don't wear the ring, but it still means something. And what woman in their right mind would want a ring chosen by a man's ex and worn by her for nearly 3 years? I think that's pretty insulting for both of us. AIBU??

I seem to have missed about 8 pages of this thread - think I have missed something (a lot) please ignore that post, don't think it makes sense anymore ....

Do many people add on " but give me the ring back if we split up" to a proposal?

Too many pages to read through fully but it sounds like it was an excuse to contact you, maybe to see if you still had the ring (youve obviously slept with it under your pillow every night sobbing at your loss if you have kept it *in his delusional mind!). Tell him if he really wants the ring he can buy it off you minus the 2 year secure storage costs.

Oh please please get it engraved and hand it back

I totally agree with posters who are saying if you give it back now he will see this as you still dancing to his tune. I would have replied along the lines of "oh, that ring? I sold that months ago, why would I have kept it?"

Right, so I think the plan is now that I'm going to sell it as origianlly planned. I need the money now anyway.

I'll see if he contacts me again. If he does I'll tell that I've sold it and change my number.

All or at least 80% in agreement?

Its really hard to sell jewellery on, I have a ring that was over £2k and I cant get £500 for it at the moment.

That's odd izzy there are so many jewellery buying places about, have you tried any of the older traditional type jewellers near you?

Ive been to a few jewellers, they are all offering scrap value! so circ £250-£300, I know the resale value is higher but no one on ebay is biting so they may be right.

Its a "branded" one so a lot of the value is in the name. The only one offering decent money is the original shop on a part ex basis, but I want some money not more jewellery.

That makes sense now I know it's a brand one

The thing is, it isn't obvious that the ring would even suit this woman. It is a lovely ring but I would have struggled to be pleased if I was presented with it without being given a choice - I have short stocky hands and square stones really accentuate that. Also, as there are stones on the band it would be harder to make the ring larger.

You may be doing the prospective fiancée a favour by not returning it.

izzy Yeah that's what the Jeweller I spoke to said- Jewellers only really sell new jewellery or antiques, not second hand new jewellery IYSWIM, so I'd only really get money for the gold. The stones are small and not worth much on their own. She told me to have it cleaned and polished and stick it on Ebay. I'm likely to get a sale there cos although it was around £800 new, the resale value is around £300 so it'd be a bit of a bargain for someone looking for a stylish ring on a budget. She also wrote me a professional sounding description, so that should help.

I have mine on a 30 day fixed price listing - hopefully someone will be desperate for Christmas

Blue when you list it, add a link to the page on Goldsmiths so people can see what a bargain they are getting.

AND DONT SEND HIM ANY MONEY!

It still dances to his tune, and if he asks you can say that you have kept his "half" of the money in lieu of him paying you back for the car repairs.

OneMoreChap - you've obviously not read the thread if you don't know why there are comments on American TV (then again you would have known the law if you had because it's been quoted about 5 times already) and know it's not aimed at you, amazingly in 216 posts.

This might be AIBU but it's not "Are My Morals As Good As Yours?"

Sockreturningpixie -if it's a family heirloom then it may be discussed or it could be argued that it is reasonable to expect that it would be wanted back.

confuddledDOTcom the throwaway comment of Judge Judy?
You've parlayed that into people educating themselves on British Law?

Astonishing.

Oh and to highlight this is AIBU not "Am I legally right in..." Pshaaw!

confuddled. Hush up. Here I was sat here merrily thinking about loads of really elaborate proposals totally ruined by money grabbing proposers saying but give me back my Elizabeth duke ring if we break up.

And you go and ruin it by being sensible

Um... no, not "the" comment on Judge Judy. Several people have used it as evidence, several people have said it's the law (which it is not in the UK and from what I can tell hasn't been as before the 1970 Marriage Reform the ring was to compensate the woman if the engagement ended, which is why it is traditionally a significant amount and far more elaborate than a wedding ring).

Yes, this is AIBU, but to tell someone that it's morally wrong to follow the law is different to saying YABU to follow the law. Unreasonableness is an opinion. Morals are personal and vary between each person, so whilst you may think someone is unreasonable to go against YOUR morals, it's not morally wrong.

I've never said this thread is asking if the law is right or wrong, I commented on you using your morals to judge hers.

Sorry Sockreturningpixie maybe you should try giving socks instead of rings?

Several people have used it as evidence,

really?

Point to them, and where they said it was evidence rather than bollocks?

Oh, and FFS more than one person said she should have sent it back.
So my morals are less than yours - no, different perhaps. SO, IMO yes, going by the OP she was BU.

I would suggest he go and fuck himself

Onemore She assumed he would want it back, she offered it, he pressed it onto her insisting she keep it.

2 years later, when she has planned to sell it and he owes her money he never repaid, he asks for it back to propose to a woman he doesnt actually know and she says "touch tits matey, you said i could keep it".

I dont see the moral dilemma here!

Tough tits, not touch tits :o

he thought the law stated that the ring was his as the giver

:o just dribbled hot choc down my front!