To inform the baggy combat wearing, makeup free and greasy ponytail club

[LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats]

. . .who seem to think they are superior parents because of these attributions that they are in no way any better at parenting then i am with my make up on curled hair, slightly too tight jeans and a smile.

And announce that they probably do spend more time thinking about the way they look then putting ''that energy into playing with my children'' than they seem to think.

This is not a thread moaning about the people who dare to wear comfortable clothes and leave the house (i do too occasionally), or who are confident enough to go out without make up on because it matters not too them, but instead about those who declare it is ''because they are to busy to care and would rather play with the kids'' Passive aggressively or maybe those who roll there eyes and nudge there partner in there ribs with gusto if they see someone with a child in tow who fancied wearing high heels to Nandos.

anyone know what this is about?, doesn't the whole ''i'm so relaxed that i don't need to care what people think of me'' end up lost in the convincing everyone that they are doing there kids a favour by not wearing perfume and makeup.

Or is DS going to grow up sideways because of me for spending an extra ten minutes in the bedroom before DP goes to work?

Sorry but i am feeling more and more bothered by being told people don't actually do this i know it is well meaning but i have already said along with other posters that these are things that have been said, i didn't say i was thinking that someone else might have felt this way.

It does happen, thank you to all of those who have informed me that they don't but that doesn't mean no one else does.

It's hard to take you seriously when you end every post with:

Something to think about, perhaps?

ariel you sound surprised i have spent this entire thread saying that this is something that happened whilst people tell me im imagining it

My grin was to Booy btw, looks a bit oddly placed now!

I think you were right when you said a lot of these feelings stem from your insecurity Lola.

Work on your fuck-off face. It won't matter how much mascara you're wearing once you've got that one right!

i can if i like and that post was bullshit frankly.

you can rub whatever you like into your face OP, but it don't forget to hoik your (slightly too tight) judgey pants

You feeling judged is not the same as you being judged. And as for equating not wearing make up with having greasy hair ...

But now i am bound to be imagined to be grinning like a pageant show girl who looks like a serial killer aren't i ?

this thread has made me come across so unhinged haha

i think you need new friends

but honestly, no-one i know would say "i'd rather play with my dcs" after complimeting you on how you look. i dont doubt people do say things like this. there are arseholes everywhere, you just have to decide whether they deserve space in your head or in your life.

Sorry this was us sat in a group booy one person said i look nice the other piped up sounding narky, it was rude there is no denying it.

Sorry. I meant in your OP.

Oh well.

Ah. It's people you know doing it, not strangers?

It was at a playgroup, but it is something i spoke about with my sister and she has experienced similar, then i was out for lunch and the woman at the table next to us watched a woman walk in dressed nicely wearing heels and said to her DP ''god some people are so pathetic it's only nandos and she's done up like that, poor kids''

They wear not poor kids they were happy ones.

Have also seen it written on here.

It's funny, isn't it; by the age of 16 maybe? possibly younger... girls have split into the ones who are going to wear make-up every day for the rest of their lives, and the ones who aren't. Wonder if anyone ever changes camps?

I'm a member of the greasy combat and baggy ponytail club myself, but I'd never be rude to you about it. Intimidated by your blatant togetherness maybe, and I guess for some people that might translate into rudeness.
Although I would add that my DM takes about an hour to do her hair and make-up, and it is fucking irritating if you're trying to go anywhere

oh it is rude. i agree with you. as others have said, get practising on either throwing it back at her/them or on completely ignoring. i think you'll feel better if you can get yourself to a place where you dont care. it is about self esteem and being secure enough in your own choices. it takes time and no-one is 100% confident all the time, but save your unsure moments for the ones that matter. anyone else's opinion of what you do with ten minutes in the morning REALLY doesn't matter. remember that lots of people dont voice opinions and you are trotting along in life without ever knowing what they think of you. and it doesn't matter does it? their opinions dont have an effect on the choices you make. the fact that someone has (in an underhand way) voiced their opinion shouldn't change that. it's just another opinion, but louder than others you dont hear. they are not important people in your life so dont give their opinions any thought at all.

Than you boulevard i just really laughed at ''greasy combat and baggy ponytail club ''

booy i have a long way to go until i am not insecure at all, a long way i always worry what people think of me, way too much.

but this was not about paranoia or my insecurity this was a real thing that someone saw fit to say out loud that is what pissed me off.

i did boulevard!

from 14/15 i was into make-up, heels, straightened hair, manicured nails. this continued until about 4 years ago. i wouldn't have taken the post out of the letter box without make-up on and my hair straightened. when i got pregnant with ds2 and became depressed i just didn't have the energy or motivation. i was off work sick alot and didn't see the point in make-up if i wasn't going anywhere, and then it got worse. i'm at a point now where i prefer to wear make up if i'm going somewhere specific but for just day to day school run and quick nips into the shop i dont bother and i'm fine with that. people who know me know it doesn't change who i am whether i'm made up or not. and people who dont know me dont matter.

Boring.
OP needs to get out more.

Op - I get you. I've had the comments. Not lately as I don't meet new mums that often now - I'm firmly in a quiche but I remember them from a few baby groups in the past.
From what I can gather the make up thing either goes against the 'motherhood is total chaos and equally challenging for all women' or.........the make up is a sign or organisation skills of which the judgey types are envious of. Not to say that not wearing it makes you disorganised - far from it - just that maybe that's a reason for the butchy comments.

Oooh.... fight, fight, fight.
That's seriously gonna get reported/deleted.

Smug people are annoying, yanbu on that part.

Never mind if it does that post was totally unnecessary, as was my own but some people really do post like arseholes.

I don't get the whole being smug because I'm not wearing make-up thing . I know the Mail thinks women who go out without make-up are either brave or stupid, but I don't buy into it. We're just people making choices, aren't we?

I think it's very hard not to get drawn into the whole competitive mum at the school gate thing. In the days when I dropped off DD1, I was the only mum there who worked full time, and only a very small handful of people wanted to know me. So I just talked to them and their DCs and didn't give it another thought. I think that takes a certain amount of thick skin though.

i don't think it is the not wearing makeup that = smugness , it is the minority who think them not wearing make up is something worth being smug about, same as the women who wear a lot of make p and do there hair and are smug about it to those who don't, there is a whole ''i'm better than you '' thing going on, one way it is

''I'm better than you because i take pride in my appearance''
and the other. . .

''i'm better than you because i am so above makeup''

Neither of them are prevalent in everyday settings but they are there.