To inform the baggy combat wearing, makeup free and greasy ponytail club

[LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats]

. . .who seem to think they are superior parents because of these attributions that they are in no way any better at parenting then i am with my make up on curled hair, slightly too tight jeans and a smile.

And announce that they probably do spend more time thinking about the way they look then putting ''that energy into playing with my children'' than they seem to think.

This is not a thread moaning about the people who dare to wear comfortable clothes and leave the house (i do too occasionally), or who are confident enough to go out without make up on because it matters not too them, but instead about those who declare it is ''because they are to busy to care and would rather play with the kids'' Passive aggressively or maybe those who roll there eyes and nudge there partner in there ribs with gusto if they see someone with a child in tow who fancied wearing high heels to Nandos.

anyone know what this is about?, doesn't the whole ''i'm so relaxed that i don't need to care what people think of me'' end up lost in the convincing everyone that they are doing there kids a favour by not wearing perfume and makeup.

Or is DS going to grow up sideways because of me for spending an extra ten minutes in the bedroom before DP goes to work?

waspie I remember them amending our office 'attire rules' after similar.

Getting transferred to Sydney is a great punishment.

I believe that would be me, and a couple of others on this thread who related hully

though i think it would be safe too assume that you don't

Hully, agree who cares... I do dress up, some of my mates don't and some do... Who cares..

" baggy combat wearing, makeup free and greasy ponytail..."

They'll never get themselves a husband going out looking like that.

Nothing to do with my post More

I'd like to know who cares too. Seriously. Who give a shiny shite? I don't believe I have ever or would ever judge anyone's parenting on their make up. Don't believe I know anyone that would either. I think you're making this up OP - quite why is anyone's guess but it just sounds like so much shizz to me!

I know exactly what you mean Lola. You're not imagining it at all.

I get it too.

Not about my clothes (I'm the woman that style forgot) but about my house.

"Gosh, you're always so tidy, you must spend all day doing house work."
"Oh, my house is always strewn with toys"
"I'd rather play than clean any day"

WTF does how how tidy your house is have to do with what kind of parent you are

I spend way more time om MN than I do on housework!

I get what you mean Lola.

Everyone I work with seems to be in complete awe that I can have 3 children under 4, work full time and still have the time to look nice. Well, yes - I like to look nice, I don't do anything else for myself so I don't think spending half an hour daily getting my hair and make up just so, or doing my nails is too strange. I like doing my make up!

Unless it's lippy of kohl I generally don't apply make up purely because I'm so crap at it and seen so many women who aren't that great at it either.......My clothes and hair are clean and paid for, so why judge me? I don't judge you.....personally I don't care what people look like on the outside, I'm more bothered about how friendly you are.....

Beta. Do you exfoliate, shave and don shirt and tie for EVERY school run? You really are a keeper.

Hully. I care. I care for all the hapless souls, who worry these things matter. Sometimes I cry at night. Imagine the torture they go through when they beseech make up for the noble pursuit of child rearing. And I lament for those that try to soilder on with lipstick and bronzer. Why, oh why do they fight amongst themselves? Why?

Please. Won't someone think of the Mummies?

i don't care. wear make up, dont wear make up, have curly hair, have greasy hair, use 'there' when you mean 'their', have a greasy curly haired 'there'/'their' combat party if you like. just dont assume anybody but you cares. people really have more to concern themselves with than what's on your face or in your hair. and even if they do care, why do you care that they care? it's so boring.

I suppose some of the women in the no-make-up/comfy clothes group are a bit snippy about 'groomed' women because they themselves have had years of unwanted comments and advice about their own appearance. If a woman who doesn't have the 'excuse' of small children prefers togo without makeup and dress in tracksuit and trainers or whatever, then she can get picked on quite a lot.

People do care quite frankly, the arseholey patronizing posters who see it fit to decide what i can and can't care on are being pathetic, i am not a mummie either but this does happen, and those of you who are saying it does not haven't encountered it but that doesn't make it untrue, what a load of shit that just because it's not something you care about i can't either.

Don't care don't take your time to read and then inform me just how much you don't care, Just you know..... Don't care.

My problem is that parenting and looks are connected nothing else, if i said i was the combat wearing, makeup free pony tail club member would i be allowed to care ?

Lola. Tbh the issue isn't grooming. It's play groups. I swear they are a breeding ground for loud judgy women and sm surprised you know whether they wear make up or not, as in my experience their heads are always wedged firmly up their arses.

Back in the days when I did the school run, I never felt judged for my appearance. But that's possibly because I distracted them with a prodigious drinking habit and shagging unsuitable men.

you drank and shagged unsuitable men on the school run BOF?

i feel oddly deprived

but why do you care OP? really? are you so insecure that other people's personal opinion (which you say is really just PA bitchiness anyway rather than opinion) of your appearance causes such an intereference in your brain?

some people bitch, so? let them. it reflects on them not you. if you are happy with how you look why give a shit if you get 100 snidey looks and nudges when you walk in somewhere. they're the ones with the issue if they really think make up is a deciding factor on how good a parent you are.

really, it isn't doing you any good to care what they think. it's probably draining you tbh.

BOF -

Lola if these women judge you because you wear make up and style your hair then they're muppets. You really don't have to give a flying one about them or their stupid comments.

What can I say? I live on the edge, me.

bof my school run is so much less inviting now. None of that goes off.

I hate when the 'who cares' posters wade in. if you don't don't read or comment. Not everyone cares about everything that is posted in AIBU. IMO there is some right old tripe in here. but I just either don't click it (if its obvious from the title) or don't comment and ignore it.

The OP obviously cares (even though i don't think its stops her from sleeping) so leave it there.

Oh and lay off the grammar. It only makes YOU look petty.

When encountering judgy people (whether you feel they're judging your makeup or your lack thereof), best to adopt Skipper's (Penguins of Madagascar) advice: "smile and wave boys, smile and wave".

BOF - I want a school run like yours.

I'm secretly quite jealous of the women who, despite the fact they would probably look a lot better for a bit of slap, still have the confidence to go out without it. It's a "I don't give a flying fuck" attitude that I'm a bit in awe of. I can't leave the house without mascara as a bare minimum.

I don't spend the time that I don't spend on my appearance playing with the kids.
I spend it on MN.

I fear I am the worst sort of Mother.I look like shit and ignore my kids.