To inform the baggy combat wearing, makeup free and greasy ponytail club

[LolaDontCryOverSlitThroats]

. . .who seem to think they are superior parents because of these attributions that they are in no way any better at parenting then i am with my make up on curled hair, slightly too tight jeans and a smile.

And announce that they probably do spend more time thinking about the way they look then putting ''that energy into playing with my children'' than they seem to think.

This is not a thread moaning about the people who dare to wear comfortable clothes and leave the house (i do too occasionally), or who are confident enough to go out without make up on because it matters not too them, but instead about those who declare it is ''because they are to busy to care and would rather play with the kids'' Passive aggressively or maybe those who roll there eyes and nudge there partner in there ribs with gusto if they see someone with a child in tow who fancied wearing high heels to Nandos.

anyone know what this is about?, doesn't the whole ''i'm so relaxed that i don't need to care what people think of me'' end up lost in the convincing everyone that they are doing there kids a favour by not wearing perfume and makeup.

Or is DS going to grow up sideways because of me for spending an extra ten minutes in the bedroom before DP goes to work?

Feck you all, I turn up at school with my fleece jammies and fuzzy slippers, with my hair not brushed and a blanket to keep me warm, with a daughter over my knee and my hazard lights flashing on my scooter because people seem to ignore me otherwise, and I dumped them in the office and let them send them to the appropriate classes.

Do I get a trophy? No? Bugger. Never mind, I am a shite mum and I just don't get enough time in the day to judge anyone at all. Except those bastards who jump in front of me when I am going at 4mph!

And the judgement is swift and painful!

Oh, and as for posting on a thread just to say you don't care.

Seriously, why?

I don't give a crap about light switches. Have I gone on to the thread about light switches specifically to tell the OP that I don't give a crap about light switches?

No

That would be twatty.

this thread was specifically about other people caring what others look like so i think it's ok to post and let Op know that not everyone does despite what she may be thinking.

haven't a clue what the lightswitch thread is about so cant comment.

This is not a thread moaning about the people who dare to wear comfortable clothes and leave the house (i do too occasionally)

This right here. It baffles me that people wouldn't wear something out of the house that they wouldn't feel comfortable in. Why would you choose to go out feeling UNcomfortable?

I'm not a makeup girl. I own a mascara that I won in a competition about 10 years ago (which I should probably throw out) and a tub of vaseline to make my lips feel soft and smooth. A makeup counter lady jumped out at me in debenhams once, (she obviously saw a very plain faced looking trout ) and plastered my face in foundation and concealer and blusher and god knows whatever else. I looked like a clown and felt horrible as it's not comfortable FOR ME.

I got some wiped and scrubbed it straight off and felt so much cleaner! Some of my best friends are makeup queens, and they look so fab all made up, but it's not everyones cup of tea.

Each to their own, but for me it's not because I spend extra time playing with my kids but I just genuinely don't care and feel confident in my own skin. And as long as you do too, why get worked up about it?

They weren't saying they don't care what people look like though booy they were saying they don't care what i am talking about, and sounding a bunch of twats.

ah ok. i only read the first few post on pg 1 so didn't see any of that. my 'i dont care' post was saying i dont care what people look like or what they think i look like. i wasn't saying i dont care if you do care.

Don't let people upset you Lola.

Honest to goodness this thread reminded me I needed to add micro oven chips on my grocery shop. Knew there was something I'd left off but couldn't for the life of me remember until I was contemplating the opening few posts. Thanks OP

I kind of know what the op means,i am assuming she has heard someone say something about her.

I have quite a handful with my 4 and there has been times where i really havnt had time to put make up on and striaghten my hair,or put any thought into what im wearing and i have used the "i have would rather spend time witht he kids2 excuse to myself,but really an extra ten minutes in the morning really makes a difference.

That said,some people really dont give a shit and good on them i say!

Is it not possible to look basically tidy and interact with your children then?

Pssssst

Beta, when you find out let me know

I think on balance the op is nbu, but needs to find different people to hang out with.

This is what i am learning morebeta i can either not do face/hair/clothes and have happy clever children or do combats/noface/pony and have children who are feral because of lack of interaction because i am too busy adding mascara at regular intervals.

Threads like this always show the insecurity of the OP. OP, you post as if you're still trying to convince yourself that your own behaviour is ok. Like someone has planted that tiny seed of doubt and now you are desperate to justify yourself. And since you are lacking in self-confidence to build yourself up and shrug off criticism, the only way you can do that is to put other people down.

YABU. And grow up. And stop caring about what other people think, or about what you think they think. Because really... nobody cares. If YOU think YOU are spending too much time in front of the mirror to your kids' detriment then either make peace with yourself about it, or change it. Don't try to make other people feel bad to cover your own insecurity.

I don't think it's about whether the OP is BU or not tbh, I just think she's had a really hard time that's all.

It seems to be one of those threads that randomly turns a bit nasty for no apparent reason.

All she's basically said is that she feels people judge her. How many thousands of threads on here are about judging or being judged? MN would implode without them!

I never understand it when seemingly innocuous threads get snippy replies, I always feel like I've missed something.

Actually, apologies OP my post sounded harsher than intended. Sorry about that.

But really... stop caring what others think and especially those you don't even like!

notmyproblem
you need to read the thread or not post on it.

I'm ok with being told AIBU, but your off the mark i didn't put people down.

I gave a description i didn't make a judgement.

These are people that wear combats, and no make up and also have a greasy ponytail, i didn't judge them for any of those things but for the superiority complex they seem to get with them.

i think we should ban the word 'judge' from MN.

Its ok randall i got why a while back, its because i said i am the other type on mumsnet you have to say how clever you are that you don't care about your house being clean, the way that you look, the way that you parent so everyone thinks your oh so cool.

if i was posting about being judged because i didn't do what i do the replies would have been more sympathetic.

Lola - really I dont think people have time to judge other peoples clothes/hair at school drop off. You look fine and no one cares anyway.

Honestly, if someone turned up in a spacesuit I'd barely notice.

Usually I am engulfed in a blizzard of sports kit, rucksacks and last minute requests for money and signatures on half remembered authorisation forms.

I think notmyproblem meant it kindly, OP.

I would be mute

Actually I would rather read mumsnet in the morning than put make up on. Saying that, I'd rather do ANYTHING than put make up on, tbh. I guess I could be one of your "mums". I wear combats occasionally, sometimes my hair is a tad unkempt & I never wear make up (hate the stuff).

I don't think it makes me a better parent than anyone, just like I don't think that you are a better parent because you take longer to get yourself ready.

Parenting isn't about make up, what you wear etc, but about how you raise your kids. Now, if your 4yr goes out with a full face of make up everyday, I might think your lifestyle mattered. Other than that, I really don't give a shit!

You sound defensive.

Can you imagine!