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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to stop BF to get pregnant again?

30 replies

GreatOdinsRaven · 17/11/2012 11:48

My DD is approaching 6 months and has been ebf throughout. She uses bf for comfort, sleep, food and sometimes fun! All round booby baby.
The problem is my periods have not returned and I have always wanted my children close together, the plan was to start ttc in January. AIBU to want to put my baby on formula for the next 6 months of her life in order to concieve? Is it being selfish or in the family's best interest? Please help!

OP posts:
BelaLugosisShed · 17/11/2012 11:57

Would dropping to just a morning and night time breastfeed kick start your ovulation?

She's had the benefit of 6 months being purely breastfed, has she tried any solid food or other liquid yet?

LittleMachine · 17/11/2012 11:58

My periods returned when I started weaning and DS dropped feeds - maybe this will happen and you could still keep some feeds?
You've done so well to ebf for six months and it would not be selfish or unreasonable to give up so you can ttc.

ClaireMarathonFeeder · 17/11/2012 12:05

Chances are your periods will return in the next few months.

Mine returned when dts were 8 months and still fed 4 times a day plus several times at night.

ClaireMarathonFeeder · 17/11/2012 12:06

Sorry, meant to say, once you start weaning chances are etc etc. Sorry Blush

OHforDUCKScake · 17/11/2012 12:08

I would hold off for 2 more months at least, bf mums periods usually return about 8 months. Then she'll probably naturally wean once your pregnant.

It'll save you a lot of headaches trying to wean her before.

Original poster
GreatOdinsRaven · 17/11/2012 12:55

Thanks for the speedy replies.

Bela She has not had any solids yet, I'm looking to start her over the next couple of weeks (6 mos at beg of Dec). She has water from a sippy cup for fun. Although most of it ends up on her front

You're right Claire and DUCK a couple of months won't hurt and would be so much easier and guilt free if she weaned herself while I was pregnant.

Am I right to think the milk changes when pg?

I wanted to take into account that it could take 6 mos plus to fall pregnant again, I never thought I'd say it but I miss my periods!

OP posts:
DeWe · 17/11/2012 13:06

When ttc for dc#2 I didn't conceive until I cut back dd1's feeds from 2 a day to 1 a day. I then conceived first month.

The milk does change when pregnant. Dd1 used to comment on the change of taste, and at one point in the second tremestre there was a definitel drop in supply.

Dontbugmemalone · 17/11/2012 13:07

As far as I know, you can still ovulate and get pregnant without your periods returning. That's why breastfeeding isn't a reliable source of contraception unless you fit in with strict criteria.

As other posters have said, it's better to let your daughter wean herself.

Good luck :)

Teafairy · 17/11/2012 13:13

DD1 was ebf to 6 months when I started weaning, my period returned at 5 months. I still fed her to 21 months when she decided she's had enough...I was pregnant with DD2 at the time and my milk definitely changed, I think she DD1 decided it just wasn't the same and stopped, that was towards the end of my second trimester though.This time DD2 has been ebf to 6 months too, we've just started weaning and my period returned at 4 months. I guess everyone is different but as mentioned above it is possible to conceive and bf at the same time. If you and your DD are still enjoying bf it would seem a shame to stop it. Good luck Smile

MummytoKatie · 17/11/2012 14:28

Breastfeeding is a fairly good form of contraception if your baby is under 6 months and exclusively breastfed.

Once you introduce that first taste of banana it goes rapidly downhill.

Personally my periods returned at about 8 / 9 months and as I was doing blw and dd not really that interested I was still feeding a lot then.

If I was you I'd just start having unprotected sex and do a pg test every month if your periods don't come back. (If you really want to guarantee knocked-up-ness smugly tell all your friends you are using bf as contraception and it is brilliant!)

WelshMaenad · 17/11/2012 15:04

My periods came back exactly a month after DCs started solids, both times! (6mo and 5.5mo respectively for solids). So habg fire and you might get them back soon anyway.

Snakeears · 17/11/2012 16:27

That's what I did - just one feed at a time. I felt really guilty but my DS didn't even notice. I got pregnant immediately and probably before I actually stopped feeding completely - turns out it wasn't really necessary to have a period to be ovulating!

GhostShip · 17/11/2012 16:39

I don't want to be patronising but do you DEFO want another baby, and it's not just the post-pregnancy hormone overdrive?

I don't think youre selfish at all. You've given her 6 months of breastfeeding which is 6 months more than some babies.

ChocolateCoins · 17/11/2012 21:30

You don't always have to wean completely to get your periods back. My dd is completely obsessed with bf and my periods came back when she was 11 month, I then got pregnant 2 months later Smile I'm still bf her now even at night. So I wouldn't wean just to get pregnant. when you start her on solids, your periods might come back.

relaxingathome · 17/11/2012 21:33

I fell pg whilst EBF dd and before my periods had returned.

magnesium · 17/11/2012 21:41

I fell pregnant first time I tried whilst still BF although had introduced solids but was 44. BF ended naturally before the end of the pregnancy with least distress to me or baby compared to all my other DCs.

Snazzyfeelingfestive · 17/11/2012 21:44

Mine also restarted once I dropped down to a mix of solid food and bfing, so you may well find you don't have to stop completely to get the desired effect.

Pochemuchka · 17/11/2012 21:48

I didn't get my periods back after DCs 1 or 2 but got pregnant both times when they were around 12 months old (exactly the same age gap) and they both self weaned at 18 months (after I'd spent the first trimester biting the pillow as they BFed through super sensitive and sore nipples).

I'd say be patient. Enjoy your DD for a bit longer! :)

Original poster
GreatOdinsRaven · 17/11/2012 22:29

Well some good news there, I was completely under the impression that you needed periods back to concieve. Sounds like many have been successful without having them back!

I dont want to tandem feed whatsoever and never wanted to breastfeed a toddler (not that there's anything wrong with it) so will wait until shes 8/9 months and gently wean her off then if I'm not already pregnant.

Weaning onto solids is happening very soon so I'll carry on with the feeding as dd and I both love it!

Let the bedroom athletics commence!

Our plan was always to have our children as close together as was safe and managable, my sister and I have 5 years between us and I always felt detatched from her so it probably stems from that......

OP posts:
Startail · 17/11/2012 22:32

Personally I'd go for a bigger age gap.

Justforlaughs · 17/11/2012 22:44

I got pregnant twice while still breastfeeding the last one (and that was with using contraception as well!), I have to admit to finding that close an age gap REALLY hard work. Good luck with ttc anyway. As for weaning your DC off bf, YANBU to want to wean them at 6 months at all, you'll probably find that once they get into the hang of eating food you won;t be able to stop them. I'd let them do it in their own time though, tbf if they are nearly 6 months it'll probably only be another few weeks anyway.

TraineeBabyCatcher · 17/11/2012 22:51

Cutting the night feed can do a massive amount to the level of contraceptive effect it has. Go for it, even if you decide to continue to completely feed your dc- doesn't mean it won't happen. Good luck and have fun

lucamom · 17/11/2012 23:07

I can't say what you should do, but my experience was that I stopped feeding my first son at 9 months in order to get periods back/conceive, and then with both subsequent children my periods returned at 9 months anyway! I have no regrets as it enabled me to have my second son at the time of our choosing, but part of me wonders if they would've returned naturally at this point (sorry if it's been mentioned upthread, but as fertility tends to return once night feeds are dropped, could these be done by your partner, either formula or expressed milk, to see if your periods might return naturally and enable you to continue feeding?)

MurderOfProse · 18/11/2012 00:18

Some people use Agnus Castus or other herbs to help bring their cycle back if they're breastfeeding. But do your research as it's very much a personal attitude to risk as to whether you'd want to try it or not due to supplements passing into the milk. Definitely try and drop the nightfeeds though as for some women it can make all the difference.

I know a few people who have got pregnant without their periods returning. Mine normally returns 8 to 9 months later, although with DD2 she was totally obsessed and fed 24/7 it felt like sometimes, so it was 14 months.

SamSmalaidh · 18/11/2012 00:24

Lots of people find dropping night feeds = periods back. I would try that once she's on solids.