to be stressed and shocked at being possibly pregnant?

[bellabreeze]

I feel like I might be pregnant. I have 8 DCs (yes, eight!!!) I do keep a positive attitude and cope very well but I am kind of thinking 'oh my god 9 kids!!?' I feel overwhelmed!!! Its not that I would hate to have another child but I feel so shocked and strange about having 9 kids! Its only 1 more but it is so close to 10...

This post doesn't really make much sense I am just overwhelmed

Brycie: "I'm not saying people have children for money. I'm saying affordability is removed from decision-making for some parents."

Absolutely. The reason affordability is not a factor in having unprotected sex with a soon-to-be-ex partner could be because there is an expectation that someone else will pick up the tab.

How nice to be cavalier about contraception.

rhondajean: "And for all those criticising op surely her husband who was the other half of the wobbly relationship was just as responsible for this often risk pregnancy!"

The OP was on the pill. She was the one taking responsibility for contraception. If she told her partner she missed taking the pill and and her partner still went ahead, you have a point. But otherwise her partner would assume she has taken care of it.

Can I just ask where the actual fuck is there any indication in any of the ops posts that she expects someone else to pay for her children?

No where that I read.

And bollocks to it was her responsibility, unless she lied and said to him she hasn't missed a pill, noone should ever assume.

I still think its really expensive and hard work but bloody hell this poor woman, even if everything you all think was true its hardly helpful right now is it?

If you've already got 8 kids you don't 'forget' to take the pill. Jesus Christ. People just have no responsibility.

It doesn't say anywhere that she's on benefits. MrsDV said it's a bit passive aggressive and I said that's because people think she's on benefits.

OP, I can't even begin to imagine your shock - best of luck :)

What if the OP had said she was Catholic and didnt use contraception, would the comments be the same then I wonder?

And why the hell can't a woman with 8 kids forget something that every woman who has ever taken the pill has forgotten at some point? In fact, I would imagine that she has more excuse for forgetting the odd time!

I was under the impression that we all make mistakes sometimes, it must be wonderful to be so fucking perfect.

I agree with Fryingpan, this thread has really shown MN in a bad light, its disgusting what some people have said on here, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Would you say these things to her face?

I don't know any Catholics who don't use contraception (and I know a lot), for me it doesn't change anything.

I've missed pills before and had sex but I always remembered to take emergency contraception afterwards - you have 72 hours to take it (admittedly it does get less effective over time).

So before I started ttc I had been sexually active for 15 years and I can honestly say I never had a contraception malfunction I did not sort out with the morning after pill.

Oh by the way I'm not bother about the benefit angle to this I just think it isn't actually all that hard to manage contraception.

Oops bother = bothered.

I know many Catholics who would never dream of using contraception. Guess it depends on how traditional/devout someone is.

Its not hard to manage contraception, missing 2 days on the trot too? She didn't have to have sex, if she thought she must there's other options, condoms, morning after pill.

Anyway good luck OP.

Yes there are other options, but its done, the mistake has already been made. How on earth is slagging her off about it going to help her?

She has learned her lesson I am sure! This is just benefit bashing by stealth and it makes me sick.

Her body, her choices. But if she forgets two pills and has sex, she may well get pregnant. That's her business, but I'm surprised she finds it shocking.

Bogeyface: if people are benefit bashing (which they aren't but feel free to copy and paste) it's no doubt because they would rather spend the money on their own children, which is neither disgusting or shameful.

My dh is Catholic. We are religious about using contraception.

And I think the idea of Catholicism is also an assumption?

As I said "benefit bashing by stealth" lots of ifs and buts, but basically saying that if she is on benefits then she has no place having another baby, accidentally or otherwise.

Your own comment about her "casually annoucing her pregnancy to the people who will be paying for it" (paraphrasing) was particularly distasteful.

The mistake has already been made.

But if it is the result of being cavalier about contraception because there is a safety net of the state picking up the tab, then my sympathy level is very low that she predictably finds herself in this situation.

No the idea of Catholicism to ask if the reactions to her unplanned pregnancy would be the same if she didn't use contraception for religious reasons.

Youur sympathy level is very low? So you have already assumed that the OP is claiming benefits and is happy to keep popping babies out at the taxpayers expense then?

Nice.

My reaction won't be different.

In fact, if she was truly practising along the lines of the Catholic faith, she should have refrained from sex with a husband she was about to kick out of the house.

As it were, Bogey, she was supposedly using the pill. So she is NOT a fully practising Catholic.

Yes I think it's unfair to have nine children and expect other people to pay for them. Sometimes those people are struggling just as much. It's nice that you don't mind; I do"If it is the result of being cavalier about contraception because there is a safety net of the state picking up the tab, then my sympathy level is very low". Yes me too.

Still we don't know, they might be on KKKKKK.

Bogey, yes, there is nothing to indicate my assumption is wrong. On the contrary ...