to be stressed and shocked at being possibly pregnant?

[bellabreeze]

I feel like I might be pregnant. I have 8 DCs (yes, eight!!!) I do keep a positive attitude and cope very well but I am kind of thinking 'oh my god 9 kids!!?' I feel overwhelmed!!! Its not that I would hate to have another child but I feel so shocked and strange about having 9 kids! Its only 1 more but it is so close to 10...

This post doesn't really make much sense I am just overwhelmed

Op have you actually poas yet?

I encountered hostility when we has a third DC -fairly close to previous two always our plan. The assumptions people made and the things they felt justified in saying to me - was .

I've said on here before the large families I know 4+ DC all have at least one working parent and the second usually working part time - people tell me that isn't 'normal'.

I do sometime wonder if it actually easier in some way as you know certain expensive things are ruled out so you focus on things you can give the DC ? you are more out of the consumer society. While when you have 2 or 3 DC many things are just out of reach that you so feel you should give or be able to give the DC.

OP good luck and I?m sure you?ll make it though fine ? you come across as incredible resource and strong.

My income on paper was not enough to do all that with Dd or ds2.

So we made sacrifices, cut back, did a bit of overtime.

There is a difference between giving someone the benefit of the doubt and turning a blind eye.

Well, OP is not exactly jumping in with clarifications as to whether she is claiming benefits, how she is going to support 9 dcs or when she realised her partner was a non-starter. She does not have to be but it is hardly surprising if others draw their inferences accordingly.

OP: "I was on the pill, not for very long though and I did forget to take it 2 days in a row so its not really a question of 'how could this possibly happen' just wasn't expecting it or planning to have any more
Kicked husband out a week ago because of his behaviour so having more kids just wasn't on my mind at all"

But having sex with a loser knowing you missed taking pills 2 days in a row is!

No, but it's the way of the world that everyone assumes she's on benefits.

It's not something I ever assume about anyone, I tend to think that I have no idea about people's financial concerns, and therefore have absolutely no right to discuss it.
Especially when the op herself has not mentioned it.

She did not entitled her thread "any advice on how to raise 8 children whilst relying entitely on state benefits" did she?

Pretty nasty assumption to make IMO

Come on OP have you taken the test? !

Hope you're ok....

I am not surprised she hasnt come back, I wouldnt either if I had been the subject of some of the frankly vile comments and assumptions on here.

This is the first thread I have ever read which has made me feel ashamed, that's right, ashamed, to be a mumsnetter. Maybe not all of it, but enough of the comments mean I will not be reading it to my dh.
Op, people have said some very critical things, but some of the comments are nice and supportive. I hope the result of the pregnancy test is what you hopes for, if not, we're here if you need to chat

fryingpan I don't know why you feel ashamed. Mumsnet is not a club full of like minded people (it would be pretty dull if it was).

I'm not saying people have children for money. I'm saying affordability is removed from decision-making for some parents.

Why are you talking about envying the poor? Someone said earlier, surely we don't begrudge people the money. For me, I would rather have spent the money expanding my own family or spent it on my own children. Of course. Just as the people receiving money want to spend it on theirs.

Eh because not everyone on benefits is poor? I know there is a section of mumsnet who like to deny this though.....

"Maybe not all of it, but enough of the comments mean I will not be reading it to my dh."

Do you normally? How the winter nights must fly by.

I know people have differing views, but there's a way to say your view without being catty or harsh.

Brycie, that kinda comment is exactly what i'm talking about. He takes an interest in what i'm interested in. I can't see how that's a bad thing to be honest?

For what it's worth, i'm one of 6 and I constantly heard comments made to my parents about how they had too many children, they couldn't possibly afford them etc. I never felt like I was missing out on anything. I love large families, if I could have more children I would, but it seems my body doesn't want to play ball.

But brycie earlier on you were talking about not being able to afford children I think, or what that someone else?

The point seemed to be about not have children you can't afford, wasn't it?
And there were implications that the op was raising her 8 children on benefits and shouldn't be having another child.

When I first read this thread I didn't think about benefits at all.

I did however wonder why on earth you would choose to have unprotected sex with your husband when your relationship was on decidedly shakey grounds.

I know women who are amazing mums and can still be as amazing with one child or 10 (I am not one if these women ).

Pink , David Cameron was on benefits when Ivan was alive.

We know nothing about op! Her husbands behaviour might have been that's he's a workaholic with his own company and a seven figure income but no time for the kids for all we know. To call him a loser is a bit much!

And for all those criticising op surely her husband who was the other half of the wobbly relationship was just as responsible for this often risk pregnancy!

Oh come on, you think people with relationship problems don't occasionally have sex with their partners?

Often risk? Potential that shoud read.

Tantrums, I don't think you have followed

I'm sorry fryingpan, it wasn't catty so much as .. I was just amused that's all. I had an image.

Of course they have sex but why unprotected sex. (Or not follow up said sex with the morning after pill).

Sorry Brycie. Ds is teething so i'm sleep deprived and touchy.

You know what brycie I probably haven't.

I read about the op being on benefits.
I read the discussion about not having children you can't afford.

Maybe I just missed the point.