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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and the chocolate advent calendar

543 replies

toomanydaisies · 14/11/2012 06:42

My MIL has given us chocolate advent calendars for our dc. Dc have seen them. And will want them because of the chocolate.

But I'd already bought advent calendars to give to them ON 1ST DECEMBER!!! Beautiful (non chocolate) ones.

I hate chocolate advent calendars - dc aged 5 can have a small chocolate every day but dc aged 1? No way. But I'd rather the excitement was about seeing which picture they had, not just cramming chocolate into their mouths.

More than anything I'm annoyed that my MIL has (yet again) done things her way without checking with me (the parent) first.

Her other DIL gave the chocolate advent calendars back to MIL and said that no, her children were not having chocolate ones. This has really hurt MIL so I can't do the same - I know she means well. But I feel like our new family traditions are not bring allowed to develop because MIL intervenes.

I know I'm overreacting. But aibu to feel a BIT annoyed about this?!

OP posts:
Original poster
toomanydaisies · 14/11/2012 08:43

sparkle I didn't consider returning it...
My mil can buy dc any toy she likes. She doesn't have to check everything with me. Just the big stuff that I want to do as their Mum.

OP posts:
NervousAt20 · 14/11/2012 08:43

Sorry but I think YABU and over reacting.

pommedechocolat · 14/11/2012 08:44

My MIL tried to do DD1 an enormous sack of pressies from Father Christmas last year.

I'd let an advent calendar go. Or eat it myself every day.

pommedechocolat · 14/11/2012 08:45

By the way - I let her have the enormous sack of pressies I just made sure she knew they were from Nanny and Granddad not Father Xmas.

Startail · 14/11/2012 08:45

This really is a non issue
Pretty calendar morning, chocolate with tea.

My DDs are too big to remember when they started eating lump choc, but the bits in calendars are tiny, not going to spoil a 1y for life.

Original poster
toomanydaisies · 14/11/2012 08:46

The calendar for the 1 yr old I will be eating. Possibly all in one go, a la Miranda Hart...

OP posts:
diddl · 14/11/2012 08:52

On the whole though I don´t really like the choccy calendars.

I did love opening the picture ones though.

We owned about 6 that were recycled-never sure if that was because we were poor or mean!

(I´m so old that choccy calendars didn´t exist when I was a kid)

Maybe when they are a little older MIL could buy a selection box or something as a tradition or make a gingerbread house together?

Lavenderhoney · 14/11/2012 08:53

Advent calendars are lovely, tbh my dm and mil would do this and we would have them all - the dc love December, it's one long party in our house:)

And mil sends a giant hamper of sweets and chocolate. Very generous.

What do you do at kids parties op, are your dc allowed to eat or are you one of the mums that enquiries if everything is organic? and brings carrot sticks just in case their dc should see a chip and want one? And what about school where parents bring in chocolate lollies for Birthdays for the class.

We don't use chocolate as a treat, or if you have been good, if you wants some have some- so the dc are not that bothered to honest.

This thread is very funny:)

bonkersLFDT20 · 14/11/2012 08:53

OP, I only read the first and last page of this thread.

I do understand how you feel. We never had choc calendars as a child and I want to continue that for my children. We were excited about the picture and the choc ones are often naff and not even advent (ie they include the 25th).

It's a bit sentimental, but my Mum has passed away and the calendar is a big childhood memory for me. I take care in choosing lovely traditional ones for the children and I'd be a bit sad if someone trumped it by buying them a horrid Simpsons choc one or something.

We also have one of the fabric pocket ones which I put choc coins in and the 2 DS's alternate days. I was able to put smaller chocs in DS2's pockets when he was younger.

SparkleSoiree · 14/11/2012 08:54

"Her other DIL gave the chocolate advent calendars back to MIL and said that no, her children were not having chocolate ones. This has really hurt MIL so I can't do the same"

Sorry toomanydaisies I read the above as though it had crossed your mind.

fluffyraggies · 14/11/2012 08:56

Just saying - i'd be really Hmm if any of my DDs GPs had tried to 'do' santa at their house as well. I find that really odd tbh! I would have to have put my foot down there. Sympathies for all of you who seem to be having that to deal with.

I understand GPs want to be involved in their GCs xmas. I would forgive (and in the past have forgiven) GPs buying or doing things which i personally thought were a bit tacky or over the top or just odd or whatever, and let them get on with it.

But having Santa rock up at GPs house when the GC live elsewhere? Why would they do that? Confused

Jins · 14/11/2012 08:57

MIL buys chocolate advent calendars. Normally I'd not have an issue with it but the first year she started doing it was the year that DS2 developed an intolerance to wheat, dairy and soya and was on a strict exclusion diet. The calendar made my run up to Christmas just a tiny bit more stressful :)

CailinDana · 14/11/2012 08:57

I agree with you Lavender that the reaction to chocolate is quite hilarious. It's not crack cocaine - there's no more sugar in a small piece of chocolate than there is in a bowl of grapes. Similarly in our house "sweets" are not a treat, they're just one other thing to be eaten now and again. DS will eat half a chocolate biscuit and leave the rest if he doesn't want it - he doesn't feel he has to bolt down every bit of chocolate he gets for fear it'll never come again.

ledkr · 14/11/2012 09:01

Poke out the chocolate and replace with carrot sticks or cardboard rice cakes then you can carry on being virtuous.

Dancergirl · 14/11/2012 09:02

YABVVVVU

You're not the poster who posted about not wanting to buy a Minnie Mouse by any chance are you?

fluffyraggies · 14/11/2012 09:04

Not judging you OP, because it's your 1 year old you're unhappy about being given a piece of chocolate each day for a month, not your older DC. Yes?

But ... i'm sure i saw a study done where it was shown that chocolate is the answer to the worlds problems is much better than sweets for teeth actually as the sugar from it tends not to cling as much.

Original poster
toomanydaisies · 14/11/2012 09:06

lavender dc aged 5 can eat what they like at parties. Dc aged 1 can't.

I don't ban chocolate. That's not what this thread is about...

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 14/11/2012 09:07

Just open one before school and one after school

Leave the baby's one, she won't have a clue.

Original poster
toomanydaisies · 14/11/2012 09:10

dancergirl no, I'm not. My dc don't like Minnie Mouse. They like hello kitty Hmm

OP posts:
aamia · 14/11/2012 09:13

How about you and DH have a choc calendar each and the kids have the picture ones?

AlmostAHipster · 14/11/2012 09:13

I've bought my kids beautiful, personalised Thorntons advent calendars which really pissed off my mum as she'd bought them arty/crafty DIY advent kits from Paperchase.

Ho hum. What cha gonna doo bow dit? :)

Treats · 14/11/2012 09:17

I sympathise with you toomanydaisies and - FWIW - I think you've been very dignified in your responses so some quite rude people on this thread.

I spent hours last year sewing 24 little Santa sacks to hang in a garland across our fireplace and filled them with different bits of the Playmobil nativity scene to build up to the whole scene on Christmas Eve. It's something I got a kick out of doing as a Mum for my daughter (and future children). I'm looking forward to being able to get it out every year, and hope that the children will look forward to it too.

HOWEVER I have resigned myself to the fact that once my DD realises that you can get a Hello Kitty calendar with 25 chocolates in, (a fact I have successfully concealed from her so far) I know that she will really, really want one and I won't have the heart to deny her - it's Christmas after all. At that stage, I will be more than happy to rope in my mum or MIL to see if they want to buy her one, so that I can keep the chocolate tat separate from my own precious traditions (tongue firmly in cheek.....)

I think it can take a bit of time to work out everyone's 'role' in Christmas. If advent calendars are important to you, then think of something else that would be nice for the GPs to do with your GCs that they would both enjoy but isn't so important to you.

Tyranasaurus · 14/11/2012 09:17

If it were me I'd politely thank MIL, then once home I'd take the chocolates out and use them in for the kids to decorate christmas buns or something then serve them at a chrstmas party/ feed them playgroup/sell at xmas fair etc. Then if MIL asks after it just say, 'unfortunately I'd already got calendars but we had so much fun decorating cakes with the chocolates' present used and appreciated

Grincherella · 14/11/2012 09:19

I have a wooden advent calendar with little drawers that I fill with sweets and chocs for the dcs. My DM disapproves heartily. She loathes the idea of choc advent calendars and will rant at length about them if given half a chance. Every year, she insists on giving the dcs a properly religious advent calendar. Which makes dh twitch slightly, as he is allergic to all that. However, life is too short to get one's knickers in a twist about this stuff. So nobody here does.

pictish · 14/11/2012 09:20

No - I'm the poster who hates Minnie fucking Mouse.

I would say the OP is bu, because I don't mind choccy advent calendars at all - so long as they're not Disney. Wink

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