MIL and the chocolate advent calendar

[toomanydaisies]

My MIL has given us chocolate advent calendars for our dc. Dc have seen them. And will want them because of the chocolate.

But I'd already bought advent calendars to give to them ON 1ST DECEMBER!!! Beautiful (non chocolate) ones.

I hate chocolate advent calendars - dc aged 5 can have a small chocolate every day but dc aged 1? No way. But I'd rather the excitement was about seeing which picture they had, not just cramming chocolate into their mouths.

More than anything I'm annoyed that my MIL has (yet again) done things her way without checking with me (the parent) first.

Her other DIL gave the chocolate advent calendars back to MIL and said that no, her children were not having chocolate ones. This has really hurt MIL so I can't do the same - I know she means well. But I feel like our new family traditions are not bring allowed to develop because MIL intervenes.

I know I'm overreacting. But aibu to feel a BIT annoyed about this?!

mrspratchett if it were a bar if choclate a day i may agree wiyh you but the chocolate in an advent calender us barely bigger than a choclate button, one a day for 24days is fine even for an 18mth old!

Chocolate, the new arsenic!

You are so over reacting it is laughable. Very petty on your part. Very small minded.

*PessaryPam I wonder how many people die of arsenic poisoning compared to lifestyle related 'poisons'. Heart disease, cancer and diabetes all linked to a bad diet and obesity. I'm not saying that 3 weeks of chocolate will cause that but my DD would have an expectation, after that long of chocolate every day that she would forever get chocolate every day.

I don't know about your advent calendars but mine has chocolate bigger than a button. Bear in mind 5madthings that I only have one PFB.

I know I've written somewhere on here earlier but thought I'd share today's experience.

The inlaws have bought advent calendars. 4 of them. One for dd(4), ds(2) and dts(7 months). Was asked if I wanted to take them home. I was honest, told them I'd already got the elder two their calendars and that the babies probably won't really be eating chocolate in a few days time. Suggested they keep them at theirs as the dc's will enjoy 'catching up' with their chocolates every week. The twins' calendars I've suggested they open themselves. I know they will give them the chocolates from both calendars. But heck, it's once a week, once a year. I'll balance it out by giving them less sweets at home. Thankfully my two are fruit monsters so they never really notice

I have always bought chocolate Advent calendars for my two children - and then when they got married I bought them for their partners too. My DGS is 19 months and last year I didn't get him an Advent calendar but this year I asked his mum if he could have a chocolate one, too, (she said yes) so today I took them round. I didn't, however, buy an Advent calendar for my DGD who is only 5 months. We were all together for lunch today and I mentioned this thread - both DD and DIL were staggered to think that anyone would take umbrage at the buying of an Advent calendar.

oh come on the chocolate in an advent calender even when bigger than a choclate button is never more than a mouthful. certainly no bigger than a ten pence piece!! perfectly fine for a toddler to have.

I would be upset if someone bought my kids a chocolate advent calendar without consulting me first and I don't see why children can't take pleasure in counting down the days just by seeing a picture instead - I found that exciting as a child. Maybe I sound old-fashioned and a misery guts. I don't thing YABU in the slightest. Anyway, I have a good reason not to get choc. advent calendars for my DC - one of them is diabetic. Another reason is the chocolate is usually of the cheap and nasty variety (snob).

MrsTerryPratchett - I don't really get that argument. She'd just have to start to understand that Xmas is over and no more choc. Im not sure shielding them from life is a reason to not give them a choc advent calendar.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 25-Nov-12 01:07:32
"I'm not saying that 3 weeks of chocolate will cause that but my DD would have an expectation, after that long of chocolate every day that she would forever get chocolate every day."

How could her expectations damage her health? Surely she hasn't got an income of her own at such a young age? If you felt in any way bound by the expectations of an 18mo, I'd say you had bigger problems than her chocolate intake.

no axe to grind, don't think dc ever had a chocolate advent calendar, just don't see the point of managing any part of a toddler's life on the ground that she'll come to expect it- to me, that sounds like what pomme says, shielding them from life

Well, she's two so no she wouldn't understand that Christmas was over, having no concept of what Christmas is . I just don't want the whining after Christmas. I just don't see the point of introducing chocolate every day when it's not needed, expected or wanted. Since she is happy to eat tonnes of fruit and veg and has a really healthy diet, why mess with that? I know people like to see children eating chocolate. I like to see mine eating apples. [I know I sound smug emoticon]

yes but once the advent calender is done with its, empty you can show them its empty and it goes in the bin/recycling. they may moan for a day or two but they quickly forget.

my children are all happy to eat tonnes of fruit and veg and have just got in from school and raided the fruit bowl, they also had a small freddo bar each from the co-op on the way home. i think its possible to have a healthy attitude to all food and that includes some chocolate etc in moderation.

a small square of chocolate from an advent calender counts as moderation!

I remember getting all het up when my MIL did just the same as the OPs, now several years on I realise that its better to pick your battles. I'd just have 2 advent calendars at different times of the day and either have a picture to discuss at bedtime and the chocolate one in the morning or the chocolate in the evening and an activity to do in the morning/ after school. I used to love my picture advent claendars as a child but I haven't seen any really nice ones for years. I remember they all had windows to open (as in, house windows) so you could see what was going on insde the house, rather than a random christmas tree in the sky! . I am also trying to get a really nice, but not frighteningly expensive chocolate advent calendar for my DD, as she was diagnosed with diabetes this year and has been so good about it. I don;t think having a small piece of chocolate everyday for a coupel of weeks is going to kill her but don;t want to get one of those crappy cheap chocolate ones, neither do I want to pay £22 in Hotel Chocolat, something inbetween would be good.

" neither do I want to pay £22 in Hotel Chocolat"

They are £12 not £22 if that makes it better ( or was it a mistype)

My youngest 2 are (nearly) 16 and 12. They both have chocolate advent calendars, advent candles and a picture calendar!!!!

When my mum was alive she would by them calendars too...so they had 2 lots of chocolate in the morning! What does it matter? Its just a bit of fun!

I'm all for chocolate advent calendars. I only had picture ones as a child (choc ones not invented back then).

I wonder if there is a market for organic vegetable advent calendars though? Enjoy the magic of Christmas and feel worthy at the same time with one of your 5 a day Maybe party bags too.

I'd be interested to know how many family traditions that your MIL instigated with your DH will be carried on?

It's not about feeling worthy, right back at you. I'm not banning them, by all means have them for your kids. I couldn't care less. But if you don't want your kids eating processed, high sugar, produced by slavery chocolate every day, why shouldn't that view also be respected?

A raw sprout would fit nicely in each drawer, Beat. Think of the joy lighting up their little faces, as they rush down each morning to see what's in that day's drawer.

Maybe an orange segment for the last day, just to ramp up the excitement.

There are some horrible messages on here. The OP has already said that she won't be telling MIL how she feels, that she will be giving the children the calendar and that MIL is spending Christmas with them. She has taken all the comments on the chin graciously.

So can we stop abusing her now please?

I don't want my DC having chocolate calendars either. I don't want them having more than one. If someone bought one I would do what the OP has done - suck it up but moan about it in private.

I cant imagine a world where I care enough to be pissed off about advent calenders

Ooohh!! Tempted with Hotel Chocolat for £12! (for me that is still not paying that for the kids). I've setted for Lindt ones!

haven't read whole thread, OP, but saw that you were getting a pasting.
i loathe chocolate calendars, you open the window and there's a crappy splodge of chocolate and no picture to look at. and who in the world needs two of them, isn't sharing part of the whole Christmas spirit? i hate how the magic of the season is now all about STUFF and immediate consumption.

mil has bought us two as well... i'm not grateful in the slightest. she's an avid feeder, that's her thing... we'll probably break them up and put them in a bowl when the kids' friends come round.

I've not had chance to read through all this, but I'm sticking up for the OP. I do not like cardboard advert calendars at all. The chocolate is crap, they usually all slide down to the bottom of the calendar, they look untidy after about the 4th December, the doors never tear off properly and In the past i have wasted a lot of time propping them back up on the window ledge/mantelpiece for them to slide/get knocked over a zillion times a day.

I know it's only an advent calendar and I do normally I have a relaxed outlook on most things in life (honestly!), but they are definitely not happening in my house. However, my mother in law buys my children one each every year despite us having a very beautiful wooden advent Santa with little drawers in that you pull out every day. I don't give my children the cardboard, mother in law one and she has never noticed it's not up when she visits.

I have suggested that perhaps she might like to buy them some hanging chocolates to put on the Christmas tree instead, but she never has. Bizarrely, every year she also comments on how lovely our wooden advent calendar is and how much nicer it is. I'm sure she just continues to buy the cheaper advent calendars to piss me off.