Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be a bit surprised that 11 year olds had school lesson involving putting a condom on a banana?

191 replies

Mintyy · 12/11/2012 22:29

So this is a Year 7 class in a local academy.

Aibu to think that they are still a wee bit too young for this?

OP posts:
Mollydoggerson · 12/11/2012 23:54

I agree that info is the key and the more aware kids are of repercussions of sexual activity the better.

I have boys, when the time comes, not alone will I be telling them that it is illegal for them to have sex with underage girls, I will be telling them it is rape and will be printing off details of boys who have been found guilty of rape due to having consentual sex with young girls.

I think all those dangers need to be hammered home so kids can protect themselves.

Viviennemary · 12/11/2012 23:54

So would the solution be to persuade them somehow that having sex at such a young age is not a good idea at all. Schools should be doing more of this rather than putting condoms on bananas.

cantspel · 12/11/2012 23:55

Underage sex is a fact of life. It has always happened and always will. Better that they are educated in safe sex then end up with a unwanted pregnancy or a sti.

I have a 15 year old. I would rather he wait until he was older to have sex but if he doesn't it wont be the end of the world as long as he practises safe sex.

There is alot worse things a 15 year old could be doing than having sex.

BooyhooRemembering · 12/11/2012 23:55

"But I don't think it's in anybody's interests for children of 13 and even younger to be having sex. Sex is not for children. "

who said it was?

InNeedOfBrandy · 12/11/2012 23:57

I think all the young mums that got shoved into convents and had their babies took off them puts the idea of pursuading them not to shag out the window. How would you pursuade them more then how they are now while still teaching them to be safe.

WearingGreen · 12/11/2012 23:57

Sex was never mentioned in my school until just before gcses where we were taught whatever was on the biology syllabus. It was literally the last thing we learnt so most of us were already 16.

I can assure you I needed no encouragement from condom wearing fruit. My hormones were adequate encouragement.

FeckOffWithYourXmasBollocks · 12/11/2012 23:58

Maybe as mothers, we should go back to the Middle Ages. Insist onout daughters remaining chaste until they wed, on pain of being turned from the house, then, on their wedding night, tell them to lie back and think of England?

BooyhooRemembering · 12/11/2012 23:59

i went to a catholic grammar and was not given info about safe sex, nor did my parents discuss how to have safe sex. i was a teen mum.

Cathycomehome · 12/11/2012 23:59

I have no idea in actual fact, but my year 8 son is 12, and this thread has scared me! He hasn't seen me in the bathroom for years, but his voice hasn't broken, he's a typical pre teen. When do I have to start worrying? He IS interested in girls, not sex I don't think, surely they don't have sex in year 8??

cantspel · 12/11/2012 23:59

ah but in the middle ages they would have been married off by the time they were 12

TheFallenMadonna · 13/11/2012 00:00

Persuade them somehow?

Well, I tell them it is illegal. We discuss why it might be illegal.I tell them about the risks of pregnancy from various activities. I tell them about the risks of STDs. We discuss the emnotional fallout of sexual relationships. We discuss the risks associated with contraceptive use. We discuss the emotional and physical consequences of pregnancy.

I don;t just pull out the plastic penis and a blindfold and get cracking...

Mollydoggerson · 13/11/2012 00:03

The Fallen Madonna do you tell them the legal ages of consent for boys and girls and do you discuss the legal definition of Statutory Rape (such a potentially unfair law for boys)? Curious.

NatashaBee · 13/11/2012 00:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFallenMadonna · 13/11/2012 00:06

Yes, we do.

FeckOffWithYourXmasBollocks · 13/11/2012 00:08

Tbh, the illegal bit is a bit pointless. When was the last time two 13yos were jailed for having sex? OBVIOUSLY, an over 16 having sex with a minor is WRONG and should be illegal, but two minors?
DISCOURAGED, yes, drummed into them that 16 is plenty young enough, but was anyone EVER arrested?

TheFallenMadonna · 13/11/2012 00:09

We also explain that it is illegal for someone in a position of trust to have sex with someone under 18.

TheFallenMadonna · 13/11/2012 00:11

Which is why we don't stick to "it's illegal" as a disincentive...

FeckOffWithYourXmasBollocks · 13/11/2012 00:13

I think the worst thing you can do is tell a teenager NOT to do something!

ravenAK · 13/11/2012 00:14

& can I just point out, that Sex Ed is not just PSHCE doing the stuff with the 'nanas. Or horse carrots. It's not even just the balanced & sensible stuff people like TFM have described.

I'm a form tutor (year 8) & an English teacher - just done a Speaking & Listening Assessment with year 10 - 'Should Romeo & Juliet have waited?'. The consensus was that yes, they bloody well should have done...

Knowing the mechanics of barrier contraception is a very small aspect of how most secondary education addresses issues around teenage sex. It's pretty vital though, & best covered asap.

My 6 year old dd1 has a better understanding than I do of the workings of the internal combustion engine. I can't see that providing her with technical info is encouraging her to go out TWOCing.

Mollydoggerson · 13/11/2012 00:14

Yes people have been arrested and been branded rapists and sex offenders, it does happen, especially in cases where there is a 16 plus yr old boyfriend and 13/14 year old preg. girlfriend. I am too tired now to google examples but it happens.

There were recent cases where the girl in question lied and said she was 1-2 years older to impress the casual boyfriend and then he was acused of stat rape when the true ages emerged.

BooyhooRemembering · 13/11/2012 00:15

i agree feck

FeckOffWithYourXmasBollocks · 13/11/2012 00:18

Yes, and as I said, a 16+ and a 16- is wrong and should rightly be illegal.

Only4theOlympics · 13/11/2012 00:20

Knowledge is power. I was over the age of consent, I was in a loving relationship, I knew what I was doing and what choices I was making and how to be sensible about it. I knew all this because I had sex and relationship education from school and at home from an early age.

You can't say to a 16 year old. Sex is now legal, here is how you do it and here are a few condoms and this is how to use them. Now that WOULD be encouraging them.

Hopeforever · 13/11/2012 00:21

I now know why there are smaller bananas in Tescos, not for the smaller appetite but so that year 7 boys don't think they are smaller than average.

I do so hope my kids wait to have sex, but I don't want them believing myths about sex either. Knowledge is power not permission

cantspel · 13/11/2012 00:23

There is no such offense as statutory rape in the uk.

We have the Sexual Offences Act.

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/contents