Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be a bit surprised that 11 year olds had school lesson involving putting a condom on a banana?

191 replies

Mintyy · 12/11/2012 22:29

So this is a Year 7 class in a local academy.

Aibu to think that they are still a wee bit too young for this?

OP posts:
CaptainBarnaclesDaddyman · 12/11/2012 23:10

twinkle one of the boys in my class threw up during the birth video we watched!

BooyhooRemembering · 12/11/2012 23:13

we really are very backward in the uk about sex education. so prudish and uptight and it doesn't do the children any favours at all to know less rather than more facts. i'm not good with the figures and linking but i'm sure someone will be along soon with the stats of the teen pregnancy rates in the likes of holland or wherever it is that have the low rates and how early they talk about sex ed and how open it is.

MrsApplepants · 12/11/2012 23:14

I think it's vital that kids get the information before they become sexually active, yr 7 probably seems about right. But to me it signals the end of childhood getting earlier and earlier and it's so sad. I'm 32 and when I was 12/13 i was still climbing trees and reading the beano, having sex never entered my head. Perhaps I was immature for my age.

ConfusedPixie · 12/11/2012 23:15

Twinklereturns: Shock year 6?! I never got to do this. In my first school they waited until year 9, and my second school was completely in the clouds about the fact our area had the highest teen pregnancy rate in the country at the time and also had the countries youngest mother at the time too (she didn't hold the title long, was a little over 13 I think).

Viviennemary · 12/11/2012 23:16

This kind of thing does make me annoyed. There is meant to be an age of consent in this country. It is 16. So schools should not be teaching contraception to 11 year olds. Having under age sex is illegal why are schools encouraging it.

Bobyan · 12/11/2012 23:18

So OP if your not naive and you have an issue with condoms being used correctly, what would you suggest instead?

TinyDiamond · 12/11/2012 23:19

YABVU I know plenty of girls who lost their virginity in year 8

Wallison · 12/11/2012 23:19

Telling people how to have safe sex is not the same as encouraging it.

BooyhooRemembering · 12/11/2012 23:23

vivienne how would you go about reducing teen pregnancy rates if not by educating on how to use condoms properly?

LavenderPots · 12/11/2012 23:24

the schools are not encouraging it, they are being realistic - they will know the accurate teen pregnancy rates in that area etc, surely a practical lesson on safe sex (how to put on a condom) how to prevent sti's / std's etc its better than little / no idea and getting pregnant at 12(as someone at school did whose mum wouldn't let them do sex-ed classes)?

our sex-ed classes also taught us about periods / how to use tampons (girls) not sure what they taught the boys in these lessons as we where split up but it was always useful and relevant and we where encouraged to speak to our school nurse (confidentially) if we had worries about stuff.

plus i think a lot of parents are possibly to embarressed to approach this subject with their soonb to be teenager and vice-versa

TheFallenMadonna · 12/11/2012 23:24

We cover contraception in year 9, but by that time it is definitely shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted for quite a few of them, legally or not.

Shouldn't be using a banana - they should be using a model penis.

And yes, they absolutely do need to be taught how to use one correctly. They are very resistant to the idea of condoms, worryingly, and very nervous about using them.

We have races. Put it on blindfold. Girls and boys.

Good lesson usually.

Viviennemary · 12/11/2012 23:25

But why tell 11 year olds how to have safe sex if it is illegal for them to have sex for another five years. They should be told sex before the age of 16 is illegal. Not shown how to have safe sex by schools. The more I think about it the more wrong I think it is. Sorry if this goes agains the thinking of the majority.

FeckOffWithYourXmasBollocks · 12/11/2012 23:25

The age of consent is irrelevant. Just because wchildren are told they shouldn't have sex before they are 16, doesn't mean they wont!
Much as I agree 16 is young enough to be sexually active, plenty of teens disagree. Not telling them is a recipe for disaster.

BooyhooRemembering · 12/11/2012 23:26

yes i was just about to say, they should be taught how to do it blindfolded.

FeckOffWithYourXmasBollocks · 12/11/2012 23:27

Because nobody ever does anything illegal, do they? So if kids have sex before 16, and get pregnant because they don't know how to use a condom, then what?...

BooyhooRemembering · 12/11/2012 23:27

They should be told sex before the age of 16 is illegal.

they are!!!

aufaniae · 12/11/2012 23:28

"But why tell 11 year olds how to have safe sex if it is illegal for them to have sex for another five years"

Well, would you rather a sexually active 14yo was

a. pregnant
b. using condoms?

(Note "c. not having sex." is not an option!)

TheFallenMadonna · 12/11/2012 23:29

We tell them it is illegal. We tell them that at the very start of sex education.

However, we don't kid ourselves that that will stop some of them actually having sex...

BooyhooRemembering · 12/11/2012 23:30

vivienne teens have always been having sex before they were 16. the law does not put them off. sorry if that isn't what you want to hear but it really doesn't. maybe a few of them will abide by the law but most who want to have sex before 16, will. do you not think it is far better for them and their future partners and children that they are taught how to have safe sex?

Wallison · 12/11/2012 23:31

It makes no odds - teenagers will always have sex, whether it's legal or not. The only sensible use of the law is to stop them being the target of predatory adults - if they're just shagging each other, you can't really stop them.

And it's not a modern problem either - teenage pregnancy rates are actually lower now than they were in the 70s. Even back when they had their babies taken off them or were chucked into mental homes, young people under 16 were having sex. You can't do anything to deter them - even really draconian measures don't work. The best thing is to recognise that it will happen and give them enough information so that it is safe for them.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember · 12/11/2012 23:31

They are told sex is illegal.

But that doesn't stop many of them. I mean, think back - how many of us didn't drink/smoke/have sex because it was illegal Hmm.

If they are shown at 11/12 how to use condoms properly, and then shown again at 13/14, they are much more likely to actually use them properly.

In my kids' school they had mixed sex-ed classes - I really admire the teachers. It made them all, boys and girls talk about it all, which is really important; it doesn't become a secretive fumble with unknown consequences.

And yes, I would love my children to still be playing with dolls and trains at 13. But many of them aren't. And dd who is 16 tells me she isn't yet sexually active. I would love to believe her - but hope that if she isn't telling the truth she remembers her lesson in condom use at the age of 13 and follows it.

Dancergirl · 12/11/2012 23:32

YANBU!

I would be furious if this had happened at my dd's school.

Bobyan · 12/11/2012 23:33

I'm trying to get my head around this, so instead of educating children about the very basic biology which has resulted in the human race. We should avoid the subject because they're not legally old enough to do it yet.

Does this apply to driving, drinking and voting too?

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 12/11/2012 23:33

I think the teacher with the deodorant bottle had the right idea. Don't the young lads feel a bit intimidated by the bananas?

11 is young, sadly it seems necessary as much as I wish it wasn't and they could be kids for longer. Many girls will have had their periods for a couple of years by then too - we can't stop them growing up.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember · 12/11/2012 23:33

You are kidding Dancergirl [baffled]?

Surely.