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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is so odd??!

333 replies

curiousgeorgie · 11/11/2012 17:45

My PIL have mentioned several times over te past 8 weeks since their 2nd grandchild was born that they would love to have a canvas of the two children (my DD and new DN) to put on the wall.

With christmas coming thought this would be a great gift so sent a message to BIL and his fiancée to ask if we could get the kids together to do this for them. DH has a brilliant camera and is quite into photography so wouldn't cost them anything and wouldn't take long.

BIL sent a message straight back saying great idea, they'll love that, lets set it up.

3 hours later and she sends me a message saying 'Im going to have to say no to the picture'.

Weird???! Please tell me this is completely off because I'm not really sure what on earth I'm supposed to respond to that!

OP posts:
BleepingSooty · 12/11/2012 10:20

Excellent! Report back any news.

I would put money on her NOT saying because you are trying to make my baby look ugly.

BaronessBomburst · 12/11/2012 10:44

Marks place.........

AlienRefluxovermypoppy · 12/11/2012 10:51

Oh please ask her!! Very invested in knowing why the fuck she doesn't want it done now :) Even though, I agree she has every right to not want to, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaalllly want to know why not!!!

and if anyone is running a book, put me down for a tenner on her wanting to wait til baby can sit up/look less like a bald,old chimp.

lljkk · 12/11/2012 11:06

Please please ask your SIL and report back to put us out of our speculative misery? I'm quite happy for my guess to be wrong, just want to find out the truth.

Here's how you ask without making it obvious you're only asking to satisfy the collective curiousity of Internet strangers:

"Do you mind me asking why you didn't like my idea of [big photo, etc.]? Only I had some other gift ideas along those lines in future but don't want to suggest things you don't like. Cheers!"

please please ask.

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 12/11/2012 11:16

Ill definitely ask... If not knowing why is frustrating to you, imagine how frustrating it is to me Wink

OP posts:
ChaoticismyLife · 12/11/2012 12:11

I'm feeling sorry for SIL. She's had a bit of a slagging off on here from some posters.

Has it occured to anyone that maybe SIL reads mn and has read some of the threads where the OP finds it hard to say no to someone who is taking advantage of their good nature. Those OP's have often been advised not to give a reason so the other person can't argue against that reason. Maybe she's took mn's advice Wink

As for BIL wanting to but SIL not...

BIL sent a message straight back saying great idea, they'll love that, lets set it up.

3 hours later and she sends me a message saying 'Im going to have to say no to the picture'.

Note the fact he replied immediately. Maybe he replied before speaking to SIL about it. Maybe in those 3 hours they've (BIL and SIL) discussed it and she's given him valid reasons why she doesn't want it done and he's agreed with her not to have it done.

Yes, it's speculation, like a lot of other posts on here, just another angle to consider.

OP it was a nice idea but SIL has said no and you have to respect that even if you don't agree with it. Who knows...she may change her mind in future, or be happy to have it done next year when DN is older.

squoosh · 12/11/2012 12:26

taking advantage of their good nature?

Pagwatch · 12/11/2012 12:36

Hahahahahaha.

Great thread. Totally bonkers.

She doesn't want the picture done. Bit of a shame. Never mind.

InNeedOfBrandy · 12/11/2012 12:38

My moneys on she's doing hand print casts and doesn't want her idea stolen...

AlwaysHoldingOnToStarbug · 12/11/2012 12:44

Maybe she's doing one of her child only so she can give one to her parents too.

Text her and say mumsnet need to know why she said no!

PickledFanjoCat · 12/11/2012 12:50

Loving the conspiracy theories on this thread!

Bonkers!

Kalisi · 12/11/2012 12:51

Screw respect! I NEED TO KNOW! Grin

Everythingsgoingtitsup · 12/11/2012 13:02

Has she recently become Amish?

BartimaeusNeedsMoreSleep · 12/11/2012 13:35

I think she's probably already sorted their Christmas present and it involves a photo of their DS.

Although if that is the case, I would be surprised she didn't just say that when she said no.

Still to each their own. I'm not a huge fan of framed/canvas etc. photos as presents (we just send some printoffs to close family regularly so then can choose if they want to frame them, blu tac them to the fridge, put them in an album or just shove them in a drawer!) although it makes for very easy presents, especially for grandparents Smile

Having said that, we're doing surprise stockings for the grandparents this year and I'm having to force myself not to buy keyrings with photos of DS in them as I think they're tacky and won't be used but they're nice and small for a stocking!

BartimaeusNeedsMoreSleep · 12/11/2012 13:40

Oh and YANBU to think it's odd that she has given no explanation as you do seem to have a close relationship from what you've said.

YABU to think it's odd that she's refused.

ChaoticismyLife · 12/11/2012 13:46

Pagwatch Grin

nightowlmostly · 12/11/2012 14:17

She probably thinks that canvasses are tacky, but doesn't want to say that to you in case you get offended, as presumably you like them?

I'm a bit surprised at the reaction this poor sil has had on here tbh. If she'd come on and said "my sil asked to do a big canvas print of our kids but I really hate them and don't want to do it" everyone would have said 'no is a complete sentence', don't do it if you don't want to, it's your baby blah blah blah. That's what's odd if you ask me!

Personally I'm with the sil, sounds naff.

squoosh · 12/11/2012 14:21

nightowlmostly the OP has said that she doesn't like canvasses but that she's happy to give one to the grandparents as they specifically expressed a liking of them.

Surely the naffness only matters if you're expected to hang them in your own home?

PickledFanjoCat · 12/11/2012 14:21

The canvas isnt going on her wall though. It's going in pils house, who clearly don't think it's tacky as they asked for it.

So I don't think it's that personally.

PickledFanjoCat · 12/11/2012 14:23

X post squoosh!

Tweasels · 12/11/2012 14:27

What an awful lot of insight everyone has into 2 text messages. Don't even think OP was that bothered. Just a bit of a lighthearted thread wondering why.

Some of you lot are quite literally bonkers.

OwlLady · 12/11/2012 14:27

I can't stop laugghing at *As a joke just text back and say "no problem, I'll get my DC photographed and I'll just draw yours in"
*

PickledFanjoCat · 12/11/2012 14:28

This thread is very serious owl lady. Crimes are being committed, terrible jealousies rage forth.

It is no laughing matter Angry

Tweasels · 12/11/2012 14:32

Thanks OwlLady. I thought that was a spectacular piece of wit that went unnoticed in all the madness.

But pickledfanjo is right. This is no laughing matter. Deadly serious wall canvas style drama unfolding.