to come to the conclusion that the vast majority of men online dating are just on it for a shag?

[soontobedivorced]

or is it just me. And every one of my single female friends. Do men really not want relationships any more? Going to be a huge number of sad lonely old men sitting around in their rented flats surrounded by cats living on beans and smelling of pee in a few years time. You watch and see.

His stock response is 'Hey hun thanks for a great nite - bit busy with work at the mo, you know how it is :-( . Keep in touch babes and let me know if ya need anything'

Did anyone else shudder at the thought of getting a text like that?

Simply knowing someone that used phrases like "keep in touch babes" would make me want to punch myself in the face, tbh

No I laughed my head off , as I did at nearly everything else this poster wrote . Honestly perhaps I should consider shagging her DP myself after all he is such a love god , then he could pop round and make himself useful doing some odd jobs.

Come on Tulisa where are you hiding yourself !

Simply knowing someone that used phrases like "keep in touch babes" would make me want to punch myself in the face, tbh

One of my colleagues talks like that and he's lovely.

[Arf] @ AF and Imperial

My boiler could do with servicing

Yes, that is a euphemism. I was hoping TL would put her "powerful" lover's contact details on here.

Had to laugh at the Burns comparison...

Yeah, but does he talk like that right after shagging someone, promising them a second date, and then fucking off?

Doubt it. He's been very happily married for years. But AF said that even knowing someone who talked lile that would make her want to punch herself in the face. I think that was horribly judgmental.

Oh dear. Lighten up . I know loads of people who talk like that, you can't take offence to everything.

Where's Hully when you need her?

Calm down, ILS. In case you hadn't noticed, this thread has taken a bit of a lighthearted turn. Taking th piss out of people who speak (and post) in such cliched and teenagerish tones is not a hanging offence.

In fact, it's pretty much de rigeur AFAIAC

I'm sorty, but isn't that the sort is text every 18-20 year old wants - please let us know if not. DP is 58 and likes to keep up with modern lingo when he's chatting colloquialy post coitus .

sorry, not sorty. damn iPhone 5 64gb.

Tulisa, for a 58 yr old man, you have wonderful breasts.

Now, now. Don't feed the Troll.

I think OP, that you are right. And also not right.

There are many variables.

Which site you use-ones where you have to pay have a higher "looking for relationship" ratio.

What you put on your profile. My profile was always kind of funny (ha ha not peculiar) and a bit caustic, and as such probably got fewer responses than someone who describes themselves as "bubbly" but the ones i did get were generally from decent-ish intelligent men,
I only had a couple of weirdos.
It is really important to be zero tolerance of any nonsense. The whiff of a serial sexter, or a guy who finds reasons not to meet, and he is deleted-no second chances.
Basically, you have to meet up very quickly-not have endless emails etc.

Also, and this exasperates me, but ime the men who contact me first are the ones I end up going out with. The ones I contact first either ignore me, or are just clearly up for a one nighter.
But I'm not doing internet dating now, because I have met someone in RL I really like..(eeek!)
Shit, just jinxed it haven't I?

Ifnot, That was my experience too, it never came to anything if I sent a message first. They still love the chase, nothing changes. Or it could be that we fancy the good looking ones who are getting loads of messages and replies to everyone they send.

I suspect a lot of men out there are trying desperately to say the right thing without knowing how often people are coming away from those texts saying 'He said he wanted a relationship but I think he wants a visa'.

I think if the chat was getting flirty and sexual I would be insulted if the guy in that was like 'she is a bastard only looking to shag me and then dump me' to his friends.

I have had flirty chats with men I like properly, and rarely have I had sex with someone who I didn't also like in a wider way, even if we shagged first time we met.

Not my experience Tressy - I only sent out messages.

I'd say it just weeds out the total arseholes who cannot handle a woman messaging them..............I'm sure they do exist

Also, don't use the term "fun" in your profile-to guys online it seems to mean "sex", and, as someone upthread said, be totally honest, about your looks, your age, the lot.
I also met a number of men who said I was prettier in RL-because my pics were sort of normal snaps, not posed or full slap etc.

Also, dont have unrealistic expectations.
You know that super handsome guy, the one who runs his own eco business and has really interesting hobbies?
Well, all the ladies are after him too, and he really will mess you about. Because he can. He will probably be pretty full of himself an'all.
Look a little deeper. Maybe I had an OK time of it, because I am not looking for a "type".
I don't care what a man does for a living, if he has kids or not, if he is bald. I care if he is kind, and clever, and funny.
Sexual attraction is very important, but you can't always get that from a picture, and you cant be too prescriptive about what you want.

The guy I like now (tempts fate again!) is quite wrong on paper. In fact he is not even in the age bracket I specified online! He is also not at all photogenic. But in RL, chemistry a-go-go.

lovebunny not all men are as you described. My DH for example.

I did online dating on and off for 7 years - I must have had about 20 dates in that time, and yes some of them unfortunately did just seem to be after sex, but then I also had a 2 year relationship with someone and met my current DP on Match.com 18 months ago and have never been happier.

What I can't understand is why men who are just after sex would pay for a subscription to a site like Match which is geared towards relationships, pretend they are looking for something serious, then f*ck off when they get their leg over, when there are plenty of hook-up sites they can use for free if all they want is a cheap shag.

My worst OD experience was with an older man who owned a PR company- he bombarded me with up to 100 texts a day and 3-hour long phonecalls for two months until we finally met. He said he was looking for the love of his life and wouldn't settle for anything less - he claimed he'd had over 50 first dates, and had never seen any of them again because he wouldn't settle for anything less than perfection, blah blah...well I saw him a second time and a third time and he showered me with compliments, saying I was so different from the other women he'd dated because I was independent and wasn't after his money (no wonder he was so financially successful, he really believed his own hype!) Eventually we did sleep together. For weeks he'd been telling me for weeks what a red hot lover he was...the truth was he wasn't even lukewarm!! Then the next day I received some pathetic "it's not you, it's me" email and he refused to answer his phone... two months later, when I had just started dating DP, I received a deluge of texts from him saying that only with hindsight did he realise what a truly remarkable woman I was, that the way he treated me was the biggest mistake of his life, blah blah - basically he was just looking to appease his conscience. I didn't give him the satisfaction of a reply.

I'm so glad I didn't let his behaviour deter me from internet dating. Finding DP was like finding a needle in a haystack - I feel quite depressed when i think how many profiles I sat and trawled through - but I always held on to the conviction they while there are some swines on OD, there are an equal number of swines in real life, just as there are some wonderful men online and in real life.

I think your problem there Anskabel, was that you even went on a first date with a men who texted you 100 times a day!
Happy ending though! Glad you met someone nice.