to come to the conclusion that the vast majority of men online dating are just on it for a shag?

[soontobedivorced]

or is it just me. And every one of my single female friends. Do men really not want relationships any more? Going to be a huge number of sad lonely old men sitting around in their rented flats surrounded by cats living on beans and smelling of pee in a few years time. You watch and see.

There's no special site with good men on, like Tulisa said, you have to kiss plenty of frogs and you have to have an open mind. I dated a few men before meeting DP, but each one I treated individually.

But there are sites with lots of people looking for sex -such as pof which should be avoided at all costs.

The sites I know people have had success are Guardian soulmates, match and eharmony. Usually the ones you pay for as free ones promote NSA sex.

I hate to say it but a single friend was showing me around a few dating sites recently and the men are like boys in sweet shops. The amount of attractive, single women compared to men of the same calibre is pretty shocking. The sheer amount of available women makes them almost disposable whereas I (and probably most people) would be hard pushed to find a guy I would actually want to date iyswim. Women are fighting over the scraps.

I am late twenties and married and would probably try od if I were to find myself single again but in my experience of dating (when I was younger) lots of men are pretty happy to play the field for as long as they can whereas most of my female friends the same age as me are in or looking for a serious relationship/marriage.

The men who admit they want to settle down are sometimes the ones nobody wants to settle down with (harsh!) which still sounds the case from what I'm reading about od here.

Oh and they've found in the past that when they do make a move, it's rebuffed with 'i think we're better as friends'. In their cases this is clearly a false reason meaning 'I think you're ugly and not enough of a cheeky bastard'. These are highly successfully men who would be wonderful partners, but are being rebuffed again due to silly, silly reasons.

They are not on websites, because they have experienced the serial dater phenomenon, and are now much keener to use their personalities in real life where things are more level, and you're not filtered out because you're not a redhead or some such stupid criteria.

Xposts! Glad someone had success on pof mcmoon

I tried online dating for a year when I was single and had just moved to a new city for work. With online dating I really struggled to get a date. There were a lot of men who wanted penfriends and were total timewasters (I suspect many of them weren't single and thought most of them probably werent single and though it a safe way of getting more female attention). Either that or they were scared of women. I suspect there are more than a few men who do online dating who are scared of women.

Basically I found it far, far harder to get dates online than in real life.

Mind you, I've always found it hard to get a shag (maybe you have to make it really obvious to men now?) but no shortage of men wanting to date me, go on holiday with me, etc.. My friends at uni used to joke that we could go a long to the sleaziest club in town and the only man there looking to date would make a beeline for me!

I also stayed on the site because there was a guy in real life that I really liked, and had dated a couple of times. Hes the biggest timewaster in the world, is still on it, a master at making dates and then cancelling, 4 years later, and is into the full range of singles activites, including salsa dancing. Never known him to have a girlfriend and wouldn't touch him with a bargepole now - he was probably a decent young guy when he started it but after 4 years online dating experience behind him, hes changed and isn't nice to speak to any more, very much has an agenda and turned into a user.

DP says the same can be said of women miss abs - penfriends and timewasters. One kept him hanging on for weeks at a time without replying on numerous occasions. The last straw was when they told him about another disastrous date they'd just had. He'd been trying to line her up for a date for weeks and she was just stringing him along asking him to write essays on what his dreams were about. It was a quite ridiculous experience for both of us.

Are you for real Tulisa? Why would you consider your DP such a catch when he's an entitled cheat who lies to women?

He is absolute dynamite in conversation and in the bedroom. His dates have the time of their lives. He doesn't just disappear of the radar after the night either. His stock response is 'Hey hun thanks for a great nite - bit busy with work at the mo, you know how it is :-( . Keep in touch babes and let me know if ya need anything'

If he get's a response back, he's happy to help with anything they need. Last weekend he fixed one of his one night paramour's featherboard fence after the strong winds we had last week. If he doesn't get a response then why should the man do all the running?

"without replying", "stringing along", "hanging on for weeks"

OD is the bit in the pub where you catch someone's eye. Sometimes they leave with their mates before you get chance to talk properly, sometimes you walk by and it's right to talk.

I can't see how anyone can be "hanging on for weeks" on OD unless their expectations of it are a bit skewed.

This lady was a pro mcmooncup. She would deliberately ask provocative and intriguing questions, and expect a full and frank response in reply. She'd quote Tolstoy - one of DP's favourite authors and seemed to be after an intimate portrait of his psyche. Her responses were sporadic, yet seductive. Every time he suggested meeting up, she'd dodge the issue, but was more than happy to discuss the minutiae of the Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius.

It was frankly one of the closest things I've seen to an emotional vampire.

MrsV
I was sympathising with the comments of various women's experiences on dating sites. I had lovely, on the shy side types of men, never went for show-off macho types. The man I married I met on holiday abroad, and was love at first sight for us both. Again a sweet, kind, slightly shy type, who was drop dead gorgeous, but didn't know it. The only bittersweet memory of our marriage was that he died of cancer 22 years later< tears welling up again>

"Every time he suggested a meet up".........erm, you only ask it once?

He sounds a bit desperado too if he kept asking.

IMO TL's DP seems to be entirely fictional!

He wasn't being a desperado. She'd engage him in conversation, and he'd naturally ask if they'd like to continue this IRL.

Frankly, he had no need to bother - he is more than satisfied at home because we have a voracious carnal appetite, and he also has many other irons in the fire so to speak elsewhere thanks to previous sexual networking. But there was something about this lady that intrigued us both. We were hoping it would eventually lead to a menage-a-trois, hence I too was caught up in the flagrant fun of it all.

If he's fictional, then who's currently between my legs? Sorry if that's too much info, but we have mastered the art of cunningual-multitasking.

Hahahahahahahahaha,,,I am finding your posts highly amusing!

Ewwwwww
How uncooth.

He must be shit at it if you can concentrate on MN at the same time.

Best get yourself on POF love, find a new one

Erm no mcmooncup. Since I got back from my run earlier we have spent the entire day in a tantric session. I've opened and explored my mind so deeply I've found that my mental capacity has increased to an extent I can simultaneously climax repeatedly whilst indulging in a spot of mumsnet and watching the big bang theory.

Dear. God.

Maybe OP was right if you and your 'dp' are on POF.

Your post just made my face screw up a little. You speak like a text book and it's like if you repeat enough that you are having a great time then you will start to believe it.

digerd :( I'm sorry

Thats the other thing I noticed about the men on the dating sites. They would claim that women on dating sites threw themselves at them, begging to have sex. Married women, they claimed, would be openly on such sites, photos, and didn't care that their husbands would find out. In fact, in general, the women apparantly behaved really badly.

Since I don't know any women in real life who behave like this, but encountered a number of men on dating sites who were scared of women and quite possibly virgins, I figured out this was imagination on their parts.

Virginity is not a disease LessMissAbs. DP and I were both very late starters - he was (believe it or not) 17 when he lost his, and I was 16 and a half. You seem to equate it to something negative. Maybe they just haven't met the right person and aren't slaves to their lust.

This may get lost amongst the arguments on here but I did get lucky on POF but also encountered some bloody weirdo's. The men I talked to / met included

Man 1 - Lovely guy. Talked for 3 hours but I couldn't meet him until the following week after which time he had had a successful date with someone else. He sent me a lovely text wishing me luck and saying that he thought I was one of the nicest people he had met online.

Man 2 - Wanted me to be his counsellor. Said he had no RL friends and I was his only friend.

Man 3 - Met face to face and wanted to talk about our feelings and emotions straight away. Had no friends either and I suspect he was after a visa

Man 4 - Nice looking, Pursued me for a while. When I agreed to meet him he cut me dead after and never contacted me again.

Man 5 - Gave him my number and he sent 1 text every 30 seconds for 15 minutes. Got abusive when I told him his texts were too much.

Man 6 - Said "Lets play" as an introduction

Man 7 - Offered to masturbate over his web cam. I declined his kind offer

Man 6 - My second internet face to face date. Against all my best intentions we jumped into bed on the second date and I fully expected him to run a mile after. Except he didn't and we are still together over 4 months later. He is lovely and definitely still after a shag which I willingly give him . He has had about 20 dates on POF before me, some of which resulted in short relationships but some women messed him about just as much as men seem to mess women about. Think the weirdos are of both sexes really.

However I am aware I have been lucky. My friend has been on POF for almost 2 years and she could write a book on the weirdos she has met sadly

Thing is, isn't OD just a reflection of RL dating?? I had to date, sleep with and kiss a hell of a lot of frogs before I found one worth marrying. The process does seem a little quicker these days,perhaps because many people who are on there have come out of a relationship and have already had kid and are therefore a lot less prone to the optimism and enthusiasm that we experienced as teens or in our early twenties. I also feel that I am MUCH less willing to compromise now than I was at that age. I know what i am looking for, what I will amd won't out up with and compromise on. I have chldren to confused so am looking for different things. Based on the criteria I now have I would NEVER have dated most of the men I did in my 'yoof'. Which in a lot of ways is a shame, coz I have a LOT of fun then!
I do think that our generation of women expect an awful lot more of men than our parents, (quite rightly). But I kind of feel a bit sorry for guys. We have come out of the kitchen and claimed the world as our own, and many of them seem to be left standing, lost in knowing where their place is in the new world order. (ESP if their mums didn't teach them how to cook, clean and be basically responsible for themselves, which a shocking number of my married friends DH's seem incapable of if their spouses are to be believed.)
Don't feel sorry enough for them to shag them though...or do their laundry! :o

Sorry, that should say children to consider!

Right i am married to a man i met on line so yu can find true love but its also true that some men are just in it for a shag i do however think this can depend on serval things.

[

1. What site you use dont thing you will meet the man of your dreams on face book

1. Weather or not you can keep your knickers on if you shag somone on the first date then yu cant expect to much can you

3.also i think what type of men you go for i had men send me picture of there willys now these clearly were not about getting married